"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Going on a lunch with an 11 years older woman...

Nebel

Don Juan
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It wasn't a date. It was a lunch. I sent her an email a day later saying that I find her very charming and in a way to show that I am interested in her.

That's when her reply above came.

And yeah I thought about that and I asked her afterwards if she really meant that or if she was just trying to let me down nicely so I wouldn't feel hurt.

Her answer was "yes, I am undecided. I like the guy I'm meeting a lot, but he unfortunately didn't behave well. Another stupidity from him and I will go my way. I can say that much".

She doesn't struck me as a young girl who is playing games, so I doubt that she would lie for the second time.

And yes, I will have it my way. My closest coworkers are all middle aged men and women, between 38 and 55. I know exactly what makes them tick and which buttons to push.

And honestly, after reading this forum for a bit, I've noticed there are quite a few male chauvinist here who are thinking with their penises and not their brains. Please, you are the last person I need advice from.
100+ mating partners? Some of you have not moved away from your basic instincts.
I am not interested in banging her. There's no special achievement in taking a woman home for the night.
Making a woman yours, then doing whatever you want with her is the way to go. It's the real achievement.
However this one is different. I like her. She is the venomous alpha female that you want to keep and get drunk from her passion.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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thatfeel

Master Don Juan
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OP, I am 23 and dating and living with my gf who is 49. Let me just tell you that at first, things will probably be rough as you try to relate with one another. In this case I would consider a connection to be different from a relation. I sparked very good chemistry between my current partner and I but she sometimes had hesitations about the differences of interests and passions between us that are merely only natural given our age differences and gender differences. So don't panic too much if she deflects with stuff like "We have nothing in common". Just continue to kindle the connection and she'll get over it.
 

Nebel

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Thanks man for a helpful message, we'll see where it will go.

She just added me an hour ago on Facebook.
I did not initiate anything. It was her own free will. I didn't even know she had a profile.

So there goes the theory that she wanted to ditch me in a nice way.
I still have no interest in being a toyboy or mister number 2. I have too much pride for it.
 

thatfeel

Master Don Juan
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Good luck to you, I hope it works out. And just make sure to keep an open mind about some things that she says or does that could potentially be foreign to you given the age disparity. Communication will be key here. You can learn a lot(about life in general, not just "a lot about women")from significantly older partners especially if they come from a different generation.
 
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