Insouciant
Don Juan
- Joined
- May 10, 2012
- Messages
- 41
- Reaction score
- 3
Hey fellow SoSuavers --
In need of some life advice right now. I'll be going to a weeklong vacation in an island over the coming weeks, and it's with a girl (and her friends) that I had a massive falling away from recently. The thing is, she told me up front that I should arrange my own accommodations because they will be keeping to themselves. That's fine, I'm not about to NOT go, because I've already paid for my tickets there.
How this all came about:
Me and this girl have been talking for a long time now online before I made a move to a different country - the one she's currently in (the move wasn't about her, I wanted to start my own life there, a lot of opportunities for growth now, plus it's my native country).
Very flirtatious, friendly, planning for what we would do in the future throughout those 9 months. This wasn't about us eventually getting together, we were very open about our sex and love lives during that time. We did flirt with the idea of ending up being together, and she did offer me to stay at her place for a few weeks. She was excited, I was excited. We would've been good friends.
However, even from the get go, things got ugly.
- There wasn't really any spark in the first day we hung out. (I just came off a 20 hour flight, what do you expect!)
- I didn't pay for her movie ticket, and made it a point to go dutch, nor buy her the popcorn I knew she liked (in hindsight, this was actually a bad play... since the girl was opening up her home and social life to me... least I could do was pay five bucks for a movie)
- I made a crude joke in the first night about sleeping in her bed. She wasn't very receptive to it.
- Days later, we were supposed to have dinner, and then hang out with her friends. She waited for me to have dinner. When I get to where she was hanging out at, I just suggested that we just go boozing. I didn't understand why she was so cold to me right then, but I know now why.
- Major fight after that bar scene. She tells me that I wasn't "who [she] thought "; that I just felt "off"
- We attend a conference in an island for the weekend. I avoid her the whole time. There were times I realize now where she was receptive to talking, but I bailed. (I was giving her space; she would later bring this up as a reason why she was just tipped over the edge)
- I watch the sunrise with a British girl she saw me hanging out with. I post the video of the sunrise on Instagram. (She would later stop following me on Instagram, but not on Facebook)
When we get back from the conference, I get my stuff from her place to move out. And she tells me that we're going to the September trip separately.
She hates me. I know that. I deserve it. I was a huge jerk. Especially in an Asian country, where you actually need to downplay the jerk game a bit, it probably has a higher sting.
What do you guys think? It would be nice if I can salvage a friendship with this girl. But just reading the bullet points above, I feel like a major dyck. Sheitt. She's gone completely cold - and didn't respond to the last message I sent her two days ago.
Any advice from you boys would be appreciated. I just don't have anyone else to go to -- few people would understand the way you guys do. Thanks guys.
In need of some life advice right now. I'll be going to a weeklong vacation in an island over the coming weeks, and it's with a girl (and her friends) that I had a massive falling away from recently. The thing is, she told me up front that I should arrange my own accommodations because they will be keeping to themselves. That's fine, I'm not about to NOT go, because I've already paid for my tickets there.
How this all came about:
Me and this girl have been talking for a long time now online before I made a move to a different country - the one she's currently in (the move wasn't about her, I wanted to start my own life there, a lot of opportunities for growth now, plus it's my native country).
Very flirtatious, friendly, planning for what we would do in the future throughout those 9 months. This wasn't about us eventually getting together, we were very open about our sex and love lives during that time. We did flirt with the idea of ending up being together, and she did offer me to stay at her place for a few weeks. She was excited, I was excited. We would've been good friends.
However, even from the get go, things got ugly.
- There wasn't really any spark in the first day we hung out. (I just came off a 20 hour flight, what do you expect!)
- I didn't pay for her movie ticket, and made it a point to go dutch, nor buy her the popcorn I knew she liked (in hindsight, this was actually a bad play... since the girl was opening up her home and social life to me... least I could do was pay five bucks for a movie)
- I made a crude joke in the first night about sleeping in her bed. She wasn't very receptive to it.
- Days later, we were supposed to have dinner, and then hang out with her friends. She waited for me to have dinner. When I get to where she was hanging out at, I just suggested that we just go boozing. I didn't understand why she was so cold to me right then, but I know now why.
- Major fight after that bar scene. She tells me that I wasn't "who [she] thought "; that I just felt "off"
- We attend a conference in an island for the weekend. I avoid her the whole time. There were times I realize now where she was receptive to talking, but I bailed. (I was giving her space; she would later bring this up as a reason why she was just tipped over the edge)
- I watch the sunrise with a British girl she saw me hanging out with. I post the video of the sunrise on Instagram. (She would later stop following me on Instagram, but not on Facebook)
When we get back from the conference, I get my stuff from her place to move out. And she tells me that we're going to the September trip separately.
She hates me. I know that. I deserve it. I was a huge jerk. Especially in an Asian country, where you actually need to downplay the jerk game a bit, it probably has a higher sting.
What do you guys think? It would be nice if I can salvage a friendship with this girl. But just reading the bullet points above, I feel like a major dyck. Sheitt. She's gone completely cold - and didn't respond to the last message I sent her two days ago.
Any advice from you boys would be appreciated. I just don't have anyone else to go to -- few people would understand the way you guys do. Thanks guys.