Going ghost on the social scene... damn gossipers...

[Johnny Alias]

So... 38 in a medium sized city. I'm sure some of you older DJ's run into this situation where seemingly the same people are at many social events. Apparently I'm getting a bit of a bad rep as a player. Don't get me wrong, any press is good press, but still I think it needs to simmer down.

My pipe is back up to spec this weekend... can call at least 3 chicks whenever I want to get rid of baby gravy. That's good.

Thing is I think I need to ghost on it all for a while. I'm looking at the party scene and beginning to realize how pointless it all is. On the rare occasion I meet someone new... but at the same time they're usually a kook and don't meet my requirements for an LTR. I do want a kid at some point and these party chicks are always the same... and they don't change.

I simply do better getting a woman's number and going out for dinner. I don't need this social scene... especially in winter when it's party, rinse, repeat.

I'd like to give my liver a break, work out more, finish off some personal projects and goals, read more of the DJ Bible, and improve my house. These are things I can be more proud of than wasting cash going out with the same people ad infinitum. And it's winter for god's sake. Super hot chicks dont' come out til spring...

Any DJ's who have done this? I have a friend that ghosted big time... even turned off his FB... for a month or two. When he dabbled in the social scene again he had that new car smell about him.

I just think if you've got a goal and you keep doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result that you're going to be sorely disappointed. You might get laid and if that's you're only goal, great, but I'm on the search for the real deal...

 

[CaptainSaveAh0]

I have a few friends as well that are going ghost on social media and noticing good results after doing so. It allows you to really clear your mind and strictly focus on yourself and your own goals. I am going to start using social media much less per day as I have noticed I check it much too often throughout the day. All social media does is tell you what other people are doing with their lives. I'd much rather set goals for myself and focus on what I am doing with MY life ( unless of course I'm running social media for business purposes).

Set some goals, budget your money well and go ghost on social media and see how it goes. I am going to do the same.

GOOD LUCK!

 

[Tictac]

What other people think of you is none of your business.

Otherwise, if you want to take a break, take a break.

 

[Don_Dom]

Same situation as OP. I'm a bit older and live in a mid sized city, too.

Ditto everything you said. People on our age group in cities our size are gossipy as fvck (being in the south like I am adds to it too) and sometimes you just gotta hit the reset button. Nobody's out to trash your reputation, they just don't have anything else to talk about. Going underground for a while never hurts.

Plus, as you said, this time of year sucks anyway. All there is to do when it's cold is eat and drink. What's better is to save cash and get in shape for the honeys in the spring. Everybody gets spring fever and it makes mist of them DTF anyway.

 

[noheroes]

I agree with this. I had a few regular things peter out over the last month, so unfortunately I'm in the position of having to build it back up.

But yeah. It's Woodshed Winter. Time to take life to the woodshed, work on the house, play guitar, learn new skills, read new books. Spring will be on the move soon enough.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Did this for the month of December. Had a few semi-plates that weren't holey invested, so said fvck it and went ghost on them (it helps that I moved), one has been blowing up my phone, wondering where she went wrong. It was a bit of re-energizing if you will. I'm getting back into it now, in a different location as well. I'm starting out slow, have only been out to the bars 3 times since Dec.1 (2 of those times were for playoff games and 1 was for two beers by myself, no talent so I cashed in early).

I've really been focusing on myself, I've stepped my workouts up from and average of 4 times a week to around 5.5 times a week, I'm eating better (more, trying to gain a few more pounds of muscle). Trying to get more sleep, reading more, and really trying not to give a fvck about the $hit I can't control, but only focusing on the stuff that I can, including my work and building up a business.

I consider it an investment in a better self. I'll see where it goes, but it seems it can only help. I've also decided recently to try and take on the DJ Bible, not just blowing my way through it, but actually reading it and absorbing it. (DJ Bible Study, tomorrow 4PM PST, general discussion forum). So hopefully, with all of this, within the next few months, there will be a new and improved P&V running around kicking a$$ and taking names.

 

[The LadyKiller]

I'm going ghost too - sort of.

I live in a small town, but a company I work at has many 20-somethings and has a campus feel to it. Though I know many of my peers, the majority of HBs and acquaintances expect me to do all the legwork - initiating conversations, inviting the out, and more. I'm a talkative guy who walks around during my down time to break up the monotony, buy some of my peers joke that walking around making wisecracks is all I do.

Beginning now, I am going pseudo-ghost. I will not approach any co-worker (outside of a necessary work reason), except for my close friends who have earned my trust. The ones who approach me I know are there for me. The ones who don't? Gone.

Our attention is something earned, not a given.