Going from boy-ish to man-ish/masculine

[youngmack]

So I have realized something about the energy I have been giving off. Thx to this site over the years I've done fairly decently in dating but not up to the standards that I want. I do ok in attracting women and going on dates but not all of the dates translate into lays, and most of the lays I get, I have to work real hard to get them besides a couple. I've had some chicks also tell me that they get a cute boyfriend vibe from me but not a sexy one night stand kind of vibe. I feel like its due to my lack of seductive masculine vibe and sex appeal. I also notice that I give off a very boy-ish playful weak vibe that won't get chicks wanting to fck me quickly.

In regards to my physical:
I'm about 5'10/11.
I have a little facial hair that I've been trying to grow but struggling.
I'm skinny/fat with a thin frame. I don't have a wide back or big shoulders at all. (I know I have to hit the gym hard to build my body so that's a given.)
I have a very young looking boyish face with some face fat. My jawline is decent but not the typical masculine jawline.

In regards to my vibe and tone:
I have a very soft spoken tone that makes it seem like i'm nervous all the time. I find it pretty hard to project my voice and speak loudly
I also like to joke around and be goofy at times but this is how I am naturally but I can imagine this isn't making any chicks panties wet around me.
I also struggle with eye contact.

So I'd like to know how can I become more masculine and give off that sexual seductive energy and frame?

 

[zekko]

I've had some chicks also tell me that they get a cute boyfriend vibe from me but not a sexy one night stand kind of vibe.

I don't understand why guys here think that the height of masculinity is for women to want to see you for one night and then never again. Something's wrong there somewhere. If a guy is truly desirable, she's not going to want to get rid of him after one night.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

I don't understand why guys here think that the height of masculinity is for women to want to see you for one night and then never again. Something's wrong there somewhere. If a guy is truly desirable, she's not going to want to get rid of him after one night.

I don't take the comment literally. When a woman says that, I think she is really saying, "You are objectively cute and seem like a nice guy, the kind of guy I tell people I want to date, but you don't make me hot and wet; you don't trigger my primal sexual attraction." I have experienced that women need the primal sexual attraction first in order to even think about wanting something more. Not the other way around. You build the boyfriend desire from sexual attraction, not build sexual attraction from boyfriend vibes. So they aren't saying they want a one night stand, they are saying they want a guy who makes them hot enough to have a one night stand, after which they will hope to make him their BF, if they are lucky enough....

OP the best advice I can give you is to hit the gym hard and take some martial arts and go to Toastmasters or some other public speaking class. Start eating better. Do cardio. The eye contact is CRITICAL..... I'd say becoming comfortable with eye contact and learning to project my sexual intent on a woman through eye contact has made more of a difference than any other single thing for me. To become comfortable with it, just DO IT. It will feel horrible for a week or two but soon you'll realize other people will look away first 99% of the time, and it will suddenly make you feel much stronger and more confident. Make a game of it.... At the office, with friends, etc. Just force yourself to hold eye contact.

 

[Mike32ct]

Please don't do the DD fake extra bass in your voice lol. Whatever the pitch of your voice is, just own it. Slow down your speech a little bit. Show some enthusiasm by being a little louder. And yes, work on eye contact; that is critical.

Grow out your hair and go for the pretty boy Chadlite look. I'm gonna get some flack for saying that, but "pretty boy-band-ish" guys score plenty. Don't try to be Vin Diesel if your frame and face aren't cut out for it. But still work out to get rid of the skinny fat and get more fit.

 

[Mike32ct]

I don't understand why guys here think that the height of masculinity is for women to want to see you for one night and then never again. Something's wrong there somewhere. If a guy is truly desirable, she's not going to want to get rid of him after one night.

Fair enough, but I think oldmanofthesea is correct. A lot of relationships start as casual flings or sometimes even ONS'. Two people start bhanging and then they can get attached. Being hot enough for her to want to have a fling with you can leave open the possibility of a relationship later. But some girls will not give you an initial chance if you seem too "boyfriend-ly" at first. It's weird, but true.

Even for a chick that genuniely wants a bf, I'm not quite sure her first choice is the "boyfriend-ly" type of guy. I'm not necessarily saying she will chase the super player, but I'm thinking that boyfriend-ly guy will be her second or third choice.

It's probably the same with potential marriage. A guy with great potential husband traits may not necessarily get the initial attention from women that the less stable bad boy will.

 

[youngmack]

I don't understand why guys here think that the height of masculinity is for women to want to see you for one night and then never again. Something's wrong there somewhere. If a guy is truly desirable, she's not going to want to get rid of him after one night.

I’m not saying that’s the height but I’m sure it would help in getting more lays

 

[zekko]

Please don't do the DD fake extra bass in your voice lol. Whatever the pitch of your voice is, just own it. Slow down your speech a little bit. Show some enthusiasm by being a little louder.

I saw the recent version of A Star is Born with Lady Gaga. Gaga is an odd case, because she can be both homely and hot at the same time - but I'm digresssing.

In that movie, I noticed Bradley Cooper puts on a very deep, country and western type of voice. His father in the movie is Sam Elliott, who naturally has the same kind of very deep voice, so he appears to be trying to talk like him. It occurred to me that this was the type of thing David D'Angelo was talking about, using a deep voice to create a masculine/feminine polarity.

Yeah, I wouldn't reccomend that. But it is important for the OP to get into the habit of projecting his voice. There's no reason to say anything if you can't put it out there confidently.

As for the other thing, I'm aware of the PUA idea of the bad boy one night stand guy and the milquetoast, beta, supplicating boyfriend. And while there is some truth in there to make a point out of, overall I've never bought the idea that women are only attracted to guys who are bad for them, and that they have no sexual attraction to guys they want as boyfriends.

I say this because I've never had a girlfriend who didn't get wet, or who didn't want to have sex. The idea seems asinine to me, or at least vastly overblown. Now as the relationship winds down, she might tire of him as a sexual partner and crave something new, but that is an entirely different conversation.