Re: Re: Going for less "Attractive" girls???
Originally posted by Joe The Homophobe
A beautiful girl doesn't always mean you will be attracted. You shouldn't go for the girl that is supposed to be great according to everyone but you don't feel that powerful sexual attraction for her.
I can relate to this subject, but I disagree with the above.
Beautiful women (Very Attractive) create a strong sexual attraction, period. Less attractive women create less sexual attraction. By enhancing body language, clothes, makeup, etc., less attractive women can be very sexy. However, most men want to have sex exclusively with very attractive women if given the choice. The exception is the case when an attractive woman has an extremely defective personality, but this is rare unless they really lack intelligence.
The above describes the hard-wired evolutionary instinct of being human, not something that can be worked around easily. Men are instinctual. Remember the movie "When Harry Met Sally" when Billy Crystal's character admitted that men and women couldn't be friends because men want to have sex with all women that they find even reasonably attractive. This seems to be true. I am not telling anyone that they can't be attracted to average looks, but only you wouldn't choose it if you had options.
All men want very attractive women, but many settle for less to get laid and/or to reduce their risk of rejection. Men (and women) feel less likely to be rejected by less attractive mates. Ones that we believe won't leave us because we are a very attractive choice that cannot be easily replaced.
Now for the good news. We are not destined to live this way. The reason I am on this board is to acknowledge and work to overcome my anxiety of : 1) approaching and seducing very attractive women and 2) being rejected by them in the process. I can get laid any time I want with less attractive women and I do. The skills learned here work perfectly when you approach less attractive women. It's good practice, but no substitute for achieving the same with very attractive women. Its the difference between the NFL and the Arena League.
I think the reverse exists with women and they give into their fears and settle for less attractive men all the time. Take Jacklyn Smith (ex Charlies Angel), a very attractive woman. She married a hollywood executive years ago later to be dumped hard. She is now with a total dork who is leagues below her expected level of attraction. Instead of believing this AFC is some master DJ in disguise, I think she is just like many and settled for a less attractive mate to reduce her risk of being rejected, again. Being with someone who is settling for you is a fate worse than death.
Attraction is not something that can be minimized or rationalized away without something like fear as motivation. I am here to face and conquer this fear. First (just like Fender) we should acknowlege this fear exists.