Going Beyond the Cold Approach

[Lifeforce]

Lately I've come to realize a few things about meeting women. Being a veteran of doing cold approaches and having done at least two I am confident to talk a little about the subject.

The whole thing is about worth. I walked along the streets of my city today and I looked at the women and I must confess NONE of them really turned my eyes... sure they were pretty and sometimes even beautiful. But Beauty is dime a dozen nowadays. Women spend so much time on making themselves beautiful they forget to work on everything else.

Go and talk to a standard girl nowadays and ask them what they do and the common answers are... "oohh.. I hang with my friends, party.... train... eeh". The truth is guys put too much value into looks and too little to their inner qualities. What's with all this HB nonsense... Why not HBHP hot babe-hot personality? Even if it's just for sex women you can connect with = better sex.

When I see people here I hear... "ohh I am out sarging.. got 12312123 numbers and stuff.. you should be out sarging too!... I have beatiful women...! Listen to tha alpha". It's just amazing to see all these people who approach all these women blindly and waste their time instead of actually just approach the women who seem interesting. Actually knowing what you want will save yourself ****load of time.

To be honest I prefer to be shot in the head than to talk to some IQ inhibited blonde who has no social skills beside to talk about herself. To be a don juan you don't have to approach lots of women, that's what noobs do. They approach 10 women a week just to learn the game. Make picking up women secondary. Toss out the seduction books and do something productive with your life. A don juan or whatever just have a feeling inside he can get women whenever he feel he needs one. He don't approach, he meet women. That's my opinion anyway. The point is:

* Make quality approaches, don't approach women just because you feel you have to to be a don juan. Check out the ones who seem cool, you can usually see alot of their persoanlity when looking at them.
* If you don't like their personality or they just don't fit you end the convo directly and move on. When approaching women, what do they have that can enrich your life?
* Make picking up women secondary... do it when it feels good and don't see it as an approach... see it as talking to some new persons who happen to be of the opposite sex.
* Picking up women and making cold approaches just make you seem desperate and player like... I don't see the point when you can meet women in so many different places.

 

[everywomanshero]

Perspective

I've found a perspective that balances the "go in shooting" cold approachist and the "I don't want to be hurt" hermit.

What if you NEVER ask for a number? You NEVER bother to try contacting a woman unless she request it? ALL you do is try for kiss or fcloses on every single approach no matter how unlikely to result in success? And you only do it for women you truly have an interest in or at least wouldn't mind kissing for a thrill.

How much easier does that make it for you guys? IS that a weight taken off your shoulders? Now, you only deal with women when you want and if you want.

You spend as much or little time as you want. No annoying gf hanging around the houe bugging you to paint the ceiling this weekend!

Lifeforce, would this perspective work for you?

 

[Lifeforce]

I don't know I haven't tried it. The point is I just approach when it feels natural to do so. I bet most people can feel when it's a good time to say something. If you wait at the elevator and you both are a little anxious then make a comment already.. or if you see a girl in the college looking at a book about adolf hitler.. make a mass murderer joke

"You know.. I saw this show about hitler and they think the only reason he was so mad all the time was because this waitress always gave him too hot coffe so he burned his upper lip... that's why he had a funny mustasch to conceal the burn wound.. and the whole raising the hand and saying heil hitler was just a misunderstanding of the language.. he never understood the meaning of how to say waitress.. so when he tried and lifted his hand he was actually wanting to complain about the coffe... he thought that the whole million peopel cheering thing was due to people being not satisfied with hot coffe... then they invaded poland for no reason.. and hitler got the blame... it's actually pretty sad... 80 million dead for a cup of coffe... what are the odds?"

well.. I wouldn't say that.. but god damn... just enjoy it mann!

 

[pimpfromdayone]

I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes I ask myself,"Wait a minute, why the hel-l am I putting this much effort into talking to women?"
It's a means to an end, hopefully ending up with a nice girl, but of the girls I talk to, I hardly ever talk to any that are interesting and who give me any reason to like them other than for their body.
About the looks thing, you're right, you can tell what kind of girl she is just from her looks most of the time.
I'm in college but I can tell right off the bat who the bit-chy sorority girls are, just from their outfit, greek letters of not. One key accessory they ALL have is BIG sunglasses. As if their cell phone doesn't distance them enough from those around them, they can hide behind some sunglasses too.
You have to ask yourself though, at what point is doing approaches beginning to be just another sign of your desperation? You could be like most guys and just take advantage of opportunities handed to them, but then you may never get what you want.... I don't know man, it's a hard world out there.

 

[spider_007]

VERY TRUE!!!!!

 

[Jariel]

Originally posted by Lifeforce
When I see people here I hear... "ohh I am out sarging.. got 12312123 numbers and stuff.. you should be out sarging too!... I have beatiful women...! Listen to tha alpha". It's just amazing to see all these people who approach all these women blindly and waste their time instead of actually just approach the women who seem interesting. Actually knowing what you want will save yourself ****load of time.

I share your view here, which is why I prefer networking and getting to know girls, rather than cold approaching. I've done some cold approaches and bar pick ups, but have never met a decent woman this way. In fact, some of them repulsed me with their lack of sophistication.

On the other hand, I've been introduced to some HB7s and after an hour of talking to them felt this great connection, and was left thinking of them and looking forward to seeing them again. Despite being moderately attractive, I would not have approached them based on looks.

 

[I'm Joe Dirt]

Being a veteran of doing cold approaches and having done at least two I am confident to talk a little about the subject.

Doing two cold approaches doesnt make you anything close to an expert.

There is a reason for guys getting x amount of phone numbers and approaching y number of girls per night for a period of their lives, and that is to practice.

I am interested in only about 1 out of 5 girls I meet and get a number from, but thats okay, because the ones I am not interested in are still good practice, I can learn a lot from those approaches plus it lets me refine my routines and lines.

Then when you do meet that ONE exceptional woman, as David DeAngelo always says, you will have the skillset needed to keep her.

If you only go after and game girls you TRULEY like and could be like THE ONE, you will a) slow down your learning curve since these women dont come around often and b) lose them because you will just be in the practice stage of your game and your game wont be tight enough to keep them.

So I say keep practicing!

This is also an ongoing game for guys who are single, that is if you stop practicing you will forget things.

 

[Lifeforce]

Yeah I'm with you Jariel.. allthough the women I met is not 100% networking the approaches I end up doing is never forced or thought of as approaches... I think people should stop thinking it's approaches... Seems girls with a little less going for them will have to compensate by being social

Pimpfromdayone: Yeah I get what you are saying... I'm not anti-approaching... I'm just anti to approaching every woman in sight like some desperate losers do... I mean.. it's better to have one or two good numbers with cool girls than ten number where six or seven flake on you.


Yeah, I like Deangelo... he remind me of this guy. http://www1.gitarrebass.de/magazine/0502/angelo.jpg

Dude chill out... it was a joke.. obviously I've done a truckload of approaches. I really think approaching women is unneccessary other than for getting rid of fear. It's way better to socialize and network and learn the social rules this way. Women will be more open and you can learn how they work. You need alot less game than you think.. some self respect, some self confidence and looking good and being a little funny.. that's about it... no need to plan and calculate because frankly... you won't be able to calculate a **** when you actually met a woman who really turn your head.

IMO the key is to be yourself when you have improved alot... this way you never need to practice to keep the skills intact becasue you will practice them 24/7. And it's common knowledge the standard don juan is worthless on keeping a woman.

 

[pimpfromdayone]

Originally posted by Lifeforce
And it's common knowledge the standard don juan is worthless on keeping a woman.

Actually, you're thinking of the "player," who is a master at ONS but doesn't have the capacity for long term relationships. A don juan on the other hand should be great at keeping women. No need to argue logistics here, but that's how I see it

 

[Double]

since when does a man have to be good at keeping a woman...i thought it would be the other way round....but maybe im just envious when you guys will be married for the rest of your life



btw as lifeforce said it's pretty ovious for a skilled observer to see which girls are worth approaching and the percentage is small.....but that doesnt mean anyone should abandon cold approaches...but well all has been said already :/

 

[wolfie]

Originally posted by Lifeforce
Lately I've come to realize a few things about meeting women. Being a veteran of doing cold approaches and having done at least two I am confident to talk a little about the subject.

I'm sorry... you think that having made TWO cold approaches you are now qualified to form an accurate judgement that they are worthless?? Or was that number a typo. Some people have made THOUSANDS of cold approaches.

Your rant on personality -
"None of them turned my eye"
You were walking down the street and seeing what girls turned your eye based on their PERSONALITIES instead of LOOKS? You don't even know these women and haven't spoken to them. What do you know of their personalities? LOOKS attract the eyes. How would you be able to look at a strange girl and think "Wow, she's so hot, she has such an interesting personality"

Also - all the girls talk about to you is clubs, what they do with their friends, their hair etc.
These are the basic, socially acceptable things that they are used to talking about with every average guy they meet. Perhaps they aren't comfortable enough with you to talk about their dreams, desires, fantasies or opinions on deeper topics? It's just like the opening stages of talking to any new person you meet - the standard questions come out like 'what do you do', 'what nationality are you', 'how old are you'. Do you think that every person you talk to is boring because all they ask is "What do you do"?
Perhaps you need to build more rapport and develop your conversational skills so that women will actually WANT to have interesting conversations about interesting topics with you.. instead of just dismissing them as worthless because they aren't interested enough in you to talk to you about anything else apart from the ephemeral.

 

[DJ_in_making]

Originally posted by Lifeforce

* Picking up women and making cold approaches just make you seem desperate and player like... I don't see the point when you can meet women in so many different places. [/B]

what?? Don't confuse these guys and tell them not to do approaches.
You're not always gonna see the same hot babe twice so you're gonna HAVE to cold approach sometimes. It's a good habit.

 

[Double]

not everybody has the same eyesight....i can tell a lot about peoples personalities by just looking at them and feeling their vibe..........lol as if it is just looks =)

 

[pimpfromdayone]

Yeah, me too, especially, as I said, if they're sorority girls.... which I avoid,
but beyond that, if she dresses like a slu-t, chances are she IS a slu-t, haha. If she takes 2 hours every morning dressing up and putting on makeup, chances are her personality is going to leave a little bit to be desired. Girls in big sunglasses tend to be rather bit-chy compared to the other girls.... interesting. The absolute best girls are those who don't use a lot of makeup and don't wear clothes to impress people, and these are the type I am attracted to.

Originally posted by wolfie
Also - all the girls talk about to you is clubs, what they do with their friends, their hair etc. These are the basic, socially acceptable things that they are used to talking about with every average guy they meet. Perhaps they aren't comfortable enough with you to talk about their dreams, desires, fantasies or opinions on deeper topics? It's just like the opening stages of talking to any new person you meet - the standard questions come out like 'what do you do', 'what nationality are you', 'how old are you'. Do you think that every person you talk to is boring because all they ask is "What do you do"?
Perhaps you need to build more rapport and develop your conversational skills so that women will actually WANT to have interesting conversations about interesting topics with you.. instead of just dismissing them as worthless because they aren't interested enough in you to talk to you about anything else apart from the ephemeral.

Actually man, the reason why these girls only talk about those things is because THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT THEY DO.... they're BORING. I prefer a girl who likes to read dam-n books as opposed to talking on the fu-cking cell phone 24/7, at least it shows some intelligence. Don't think for one minute that the average girl isn't bored out of her fu-cking mind, because in my experience, almost all of them are.... he-ll, the average guy is also bored, but not quite as bad. Yeah, they have fun sometimes with friends and stuff, but that's just all they have to do so to them it is better than nothing. The average girl just has nothing else to do. Dreams, ambitions, conversations about interesting topics don't have anything to do with it. Girls enjoy the simple pleasures in life, just having a bf to be with and some interesting conversation I suppose, so that's about all you're going to get out of them. This is where we come in: women NEED men to keep them from being bored. Personality is a completely different thing. A good personality will basically make her interesting enough to date and her actual interests will not really matter. A good personality is much more important than what she does, but I have found that most women who are boring, also have horrible personalities.... go figure.