"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Goin to a birthday party. In 2hrs, I don't know anyone there

Bigg Boss

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Well... I'm in the stage right now trying to improve my social proof. I don't have many solid homies cept a few in my neighborhood.

One of my really good female friends (that I used to have onenitis but now I can barely stand her) is having her birthday party in 2hrs. Well it's really a dinner at Red Lobster. Then maybe a movie after.

The thing is, she told me to bring my gf (yea this girl is weird on the real. I think she's trying to make it seem like she's cool with my gf). I asked "well are there going to be alot of girls there, I'll talk to them"(that'd be perfect). But she says that there are gonna be alot of guys and prolly 3 girls but they have BFs. (SO?). Anyways, I tell her my GF ain't comin (she's busy anyway). Why would I bring her?'


So now I'm going alone. I don't know any of her friends (she goes to a different school). So I'm wondering, how do I be someone that they will be like "hey your friend's cool, we should hang wit him more"? I mean, should I just be off the wall, trying to be the center of attention? Should I talk alot so everyone notices me? Or should I just try to join in a little bit of conversation?

I really don't want to be quiet anymore, but I don't know exactly what to do. Especially if they start talking about people at their school that I don't know. Yeah, I suck at making male friends. Especially if they all whylin out, how am I gonna jump in? I'm going to look like an idiot tryin to be hype with them when I don't even know them and they don't know me?

How should my attitude be? These aren't typcial nice guys, they prolly aren't AFC at all. So saying 'hi my name is ryan whats urs?' would be kinda weird.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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SamePendo

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I would advice you not to go, but to do a bootcamp instead.

You seem really wierded out.
 

PRMoon

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Seek confidence within yourself. Is she paying for this meal? If so I would just go and make small talk with some of the people around you. You never know who you could meet anytime you leave the house. How old are you? Do you drive or are you being driven? This is important because if you want to cut out early, you may or may not have the ablity to do so.

I say 'eat, drink, and be merry' is a phrase to live by. Life is what you make from it. You can choose to go to the party, be miserable or shy and eat by yourself silently or you can be proactive and introduce your self to people, ask them a few basic questions (where are you from? what do you do for work? what are your views on nafta etc etc) develop conversations and build relationships.
 
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