GodsGiftToFatBirds Bootcamp Diary

[GodsGiftToFatBirds]

Alright guys, this is my Bootcamp Diary coming up.
I'm completely new on this site in that i've only just registered, tho i've been browsing round for a few months, taking in ideas etc would still class myself as RAFC tho (username comes from the fact that in the past i've tended to just take what i can get (within limits!!) rather than having the balls to go for the sort of girls i really want- this is partly what i'm trying to change by taking on the bootcamp challenge.
Any comments/ feedback etc as i go through would be appreciated so i know i'm not talking to myself when i post.
Anyways, see yas later- off out on day 1!

 

[Mantra]

Great name!!!! Roll on the booty!!

 

[GodsGiftToFatBirds]

Cheers man.
Brief update on 1st day: went out for about 45 minutes, trying to get as many of the hello's/hi's done as poss. Ended up with 9 (4 girls, 5 blokes!!), which i thought was alright for 1st day, easier in a way cos i live on a uni campus, so theres fair few people about. Definately not an easy thing to do, although the first ones were the hardest. Made me laugh tho, some people i said hello to seemed scared witless and one bloke i swear practically sh!t himself right there on the spot.
Couldn't help thinking that what i was doing was a bit weird tho- Kept imagining i'd bump into 1 of my mates n they'd be like 'Alright mate, what you up to?' and i'd be like 'I'm just walking round saying hello to people i don't know'!
Anyways, more tomorrow n keep the feedback coming in!

 

[Microphone Fiend]

Good Luck man, I'm doing the Bootcamp too and I'm on week 2. You already have support and there is a good amount of English-heads here to help you out with any particulars you may have. Good luck. Just keep up the pace you're on and you'll be finished in no time flat!

 

[Joe The Homophobe]

Good luck man and keep fighting the good fight. Don't give up on your quest to become a DJ and to better youself!

 

[GodsGiftToFatBirds]

Day 2 Week 1

Cheers guys, good to hear the support!
Day 2 update: managed another 8 (3 girls, 5 guys - this trend is starting to worry me a little!! - seriously there were just a lot more guys about) to take me up to 17 so far. Probably could have done a fair few more today, but the only time i was out n about was a 30 minute walk to the shops n back so i did them all then. Actually, today isn't really finished for me yet, as i'm off out clubbing in a bit, tho i think i'll include any tallies from that in Day 3, as i'll prob be a bit too drunk to write a sensible post by the time i get in afterwards, tho that could be quite funny!
Actually, thinking about it, maybe the approaches shouldn't count anyway if you're not sober- surely the idea of the bootcamp is to build up the confidence in yourself rather than just using alcohol as an easy way of getting round it? - i can talk cr@p to anyone after about 8 pints!
Anyways, more tomorrow, cya!!

 

[GodsGiftToFatBirds]

Day 3 Week 1

Hey guys, this is day 3 of my bootcamp.
I went out clubbing after i posted last night. Had a good night n pulled ('made out with' for all you Americans!) 3 different girls. I'd say 2 were HB7 and 1 was HB8. This is better than i usually do- see my username!!
While i'm on the subject of clubs, i'd have to say i've improved a lot in clubs since i found this site a few months ago. Just afew months ago, I'd go out clubbing, usually not approach a single girl all night, then go home n get the internet on.......!
Pains me to think of it now, however i've still got a lot of improvement to do but, hey thats why i'm in bootcamp!!
Anyway, i'm not counting saying hi/approaches from last night towards my bootcamp tally, as i wanna do it sober, else i'd feel that i'd kinda cheated myself.
So what i've written above is just a sidetrack really, this is now my bootcamp for today.
Managed another 11 hi's/hello's today (5 guys/6 girls) so i'm now on 28 in 3 days, on course to complete the week by my maths.
Felt a bit dis-heartened earlier in the day cos i chickened out of a few n got 2 or 3 people ignoring me. Got my act together a bit later tho. Got nice smiles from a couple of HB's when i said hi today- getting a positive reaction from someone really gives you a lift i reckon.
Also i find a good way to motivate myself to get them done is to delay what i'm doing until ive done a certain number. e.g today i was taking a break from studying in my uni library by walking round the area outside and i made myself not go back to my work till i'd got 3 more done, which i did.
Anyway thats all for now. Good luck to everyone else whos doing the bootcamp by the way, I read the bootcamp posts on the board to inspire me to go do it myself.

 

[GodsGiftToFatBirds]

Day 4 week 1

This is Day 4. Not gonna say much cos i'm in a bit of a rush to go out in a sec (how much is there to say bout saying hi to people anyway?! Week 2 will be much more interesting) but wanna get my post up anyway.
Anyway, did 6 more (2 girls 4 guys). on 34 now for 6 days, sorry can't write a bit more!
Cya i'm off out!

 

[GodsGiftToFatBirds]

Hey guys, this post isn't really to do with my bootcamp, but its very Don Juan related so i'm posting it anyway!
Basically looking for a bit of advice- the story is basically me and my mate went out to our local students union tonight, was a normal dance/club night. Cos of work etc tho, we didn't make it there til quite late and by the time we finally got on the dance floor after talking to people we knew, there was prob only about 15-20 minutes of the night left, so there wasn't much time for getting on the pull.
Anyway, was quite impressed with myself in that i found the balls to approach this really hot girl on the dance floor (not putting her on a pedastal but she was about HB9.5), something i could never have done up till recently (nice when you see the improvement!) Caught her eye, gave her a smile which she returned so i was straight over there 'Hey how u doing hows your night been?' etc. She was receptive and friendly and seemed interested (smiling a lot and asking me lots of questions back etc when i was taling to her), which my mate commented on - i could tell he was kinda impressed!
Anyway, problem was, i kinda couldn't develop the converstion to anything more than 'polite conversation' even tho i wanted to , and i reckon she wanted to too, and it was the end of the night too, lights were coming etc, so couldn;'t get dancing either.
What i wanted to ask is, do any of you guys have any techniques/tips that you reccomend for turning this sort of 'polite conversation' into more of a connection with the girl (i think 'building a rapport' is the DJ phrase i'm looking for!). Advice much appreciated.
Sorry for the sidetrack by the way, will return to my normal bootcamp stuff tomorrow!!

 

[GodsGiftToFatBirds]

Day 5 Week 1

Any you guys got any suggestions re. my previous post, do put them up. Maybe I should put it as a separate thread so more people look at it.
Anyway, day 5 of bootcamp.
Did another 7 Hi's just generally round my university campus (6 girls, 1 guy - decided to focus on decent looking girls today, they are what i'm doing this for after all!)
Have found that you generally get a better response if you say Hi when you're a bit of a distance away- guess it gives the other person bit more time to respond.
Anyway, that's 41 for 5 days now, should do the 50 no prob.
I'd like to write a bit more but i really don't think theres an awful lot you can write about walking round saying Hi to people!! Looking forward to the later weeks, so i can put up some more interesting posts for you guys to read!!

 

[Bonhomme]

Well, all right!

Good that you made the step and chatted with her. Generally, if you run out of words the best thing to do is sign off along the lines of "good chatting with you, but I'm going to get back with my mates ... What's your number?" Or you could susbstitute email for #, but I generally go for the the #. I'm not much of an emailer.

I'm not the person to give advice about conversation, but I will say if a gal's attracted to you in a general sense, you'll generally be OK as long as you don't try to force things and come across as dorky. Don't be totally afraid of a bit of silence.

Generally, the best thing to do is observe. Notice whatever you can about her, ab out what's going on around you, etc. Often conversation topics will come right up. If you can playfully tease her about something, like her clothes or whatever, go for it. Have fun. One David DeAngelo line I like when a gal has on real pointy shoes is to say her shoes are sharp. Then she might say a noncomittal "thanks," and then you say "No -- I mean literally sharp -- as in dangerous -- you can hurt somebody with those things." Often the gal will run with it, and it's "game on."

Keep at it. I got a chuckle out of your screen name, too.

 

[GodsGiftToFatBirds]

Day 6 Week 1

Cheers mate for the advice. I got some ideas from reading your post of things that, looking back, i could have said to liven up the conversation. Anyway, another time, another girl!
She was fvcking fine tho!! Lol!!

Anyway, Bootcamp, Day 6.
Said Hi to another 6 people, all birds, all fvckable, tho one would probably have needed a few pints first. Thats 47 now, i probably could have finished the week today but i wasnt out n about that much, and was just looking for birds too. Will def finish it tomorrow and prob try to get a few more in too.
I dont know if everyone else doing Bootcamp finds this, but i feel noticeably more confident just from doing this for a few days. Like in the first day or two, I actually had to really psyche myself up simply to get the word out(!) whereas now i just say confidently and naturally, as if talking to someone i know, which in turn tends to lead to a more positive response from the girl.

Anyway, more tomorrow!
(I'm quite impressed with myself that i've actually managed to write more than about a sentence about walking round saying Hi to people!!)

 

[Bonhomme]

It's working!

i feel noticeably more confident just from doing this for a few days. Like in the first day or two, I actually had to really psyche myself up simply to get the word out(!) whereas now i just say confidently and naturally, as if talking to someone i know, which in turn tends to lead to a more positive response from the girl.

Exactly. It's amazing how a bit of good eye contact and confident presentation makes you instant gold. When you notice just how rare it is for anybody to have it, you begin to see how it's not that hard to make yourself stand out above the herd.

With that thought in mind, you might want to head over to the "Tips" section, and read Disciple's killer "Becoming a King" thread. Seeing as how you're on your way to your very own throne ...

One could do a Doctoral thesis on walking around and saying "hi" to people.

Keep up the good work (still chuckling at the screen name).

 

[GodsGiftToFatBirds]

Day 7 Week 1

Cheers again mate.
I had a look at the thread, its not actually one i've read before. I like it though, its a good one. I like the idea of you ruling your life being like a king ruling over his kingdom, it makes you think 'Its my life, I'm in control, I decide what to do in my life and who else should be involved in it, rather than having these things dictated to me by someone else'.
Fvck it took me ages to read it though, must have taken the guy literally hours to write it.
My favourite tip/bible post though has to be the one by photo1 in the bible 'Are you a guy who just can't approach', thats the one thats really inspired me to take action to try and change my life, it carries a really powerful message.
Anyway, bootcamp day 7. I did the 3 i needed to get the 50 for the week. Even though i knew i was going to do it, it was still a good feeling when i'd done the final one. Didn't bother doing any more though when i'd finished, been quite tired and stressed most of today from work and deadlines, so not really been in the mood.
Looking forward to starting week 2 though, it should be a good challenge. Reckon it'll be easier for me being on a university campus, having plenty of opportunities to meet new poeple although i'll have to force myself to speak to people in situations when i previosly haven't been bothered or brave enough.
Incidentally, was kinda on the other side of the fence today- was walking into the uni library when this girl (HB7 = fvckable!!) who i'd seen around before but never spoken to, came up, gave me a big smile and was like 'Hi how you doing?'. Even though i've been doing pretty mucgh the same thing myself for the past week, it caught me completely by surprise(!), and apart from 'yeh ok thanks, are you?', i was a bit tongue-tied!
Kicked myself for it after!!
Oh well.
Week 2 tomorrow, looking forward to it!

 

[Bonhomme]

Quick note

If a gal you hardly know approaches you and flirts, You're definitely in her "fvckable" category. Don't sweat it if you were a bit tongue-tied. You'll see her again, and many others who are hotter yet.

Geez, I'm just thinking of this one super-hot student that had flirted all over the place with me during my clueless days, when I didn't know just how high an interest level it takes for a gal who hardly knows you to make any such sort of gesture. Anyway, our turn to benefit from this bit of insight now.

Remember, if a gal's hot for you, it hardly matters what you say, as long as it's not dorky or genuinely nasty (as opposed to playful teasing).

Time to take a bit of rest. I may hit the club where I vibed pretty well Tuesday night with a tall (6'1": love when they're eye-to-eye with me), cute "regular" there.

 

[GodsGiftToFatBirds]

Day 1 Week 2

Remember, if a gal's hot for you, it hardly matters what you say, as long as it's not dorky or genuinely nasty (as opposed to playful teasing).

Yeh man, i'd have to agree with that. its like you've already got her interest, and all you have to do is not lose it. Has happened a few times with me in clubs when i've approached birds who've been eyeing me up, and all i've had to do is make a bit of small talk before i'm making out with them. Usually they've not been that fit though!!
Did you go get that bird in the end Bonhomme, out of interest?

Today was 1st day of week 2 bootcamp, got a week to have 10 conversations with strangers of between 2 and 10 minutes.
My 1st convo was with this HB8 at university. Was walking down the corridoor where the university sports teams noticeboards are, where sports players go check the teamsheets for the weekends fixtures. Caught the eye of this girl studying one of the boards, gave her a smile, which she returned, so i went up and asked her what sports team she was in (hockey as it turned out), which led to a short convo, with her showing a decent interest level (she asked me a few questions etc).
However, i'm not sure it was a 2 minute convo (you can't exactly time it!!)- i'd guess it was a bit less, so i'm not sure whether it should really count. I think for these tricky ones, i'll give myself half a point (with a definite 2 min + convo being a full point), as i think the aim of the week is half to practise approaching and initiating conversations with a stranger, and half to keep them going for a significant length of time. Anyone disagree with this approach, let us know- don't want to feel like i'm taking easy shortcuts to achieve the 10 for the week, as i'd only be cheating myself really.
Also had a conversation with a bloke in the gym, that was an easy one really, just about gym stuff, what stuff we were doing etc but i initiated the convo and it was over 2 mins so its a point, meaning, by my standards, thats 1 and a half for the 1st day.
As a sidetrack, i couldn't help wondering after i'd approached the HB8 i mentioned before, whether i should have number closed her at the end. I reckon i didn't partly because i'm not yet used to doing this sort of thing, and partly because its not something thats in the British culture to do. I've never been to America myself but, from reading SoSuave, which i'd say is largely American, i'd say that its the norm over there to make a cold approach on a bird in a normal everyday place like a bookshop or somewhere, talk to her for a bit, before asking for her number, with a view to setting up a date. However, i've never used this approach myself in Britain, nor do i know anybody else who actually has. At the same time, i can't think of any good reason why it shouldn't work here too.
I'd be interested to hear what any British guys here, or guys who've visited Britain, think about whether these sort of cold approaches work over here.
Anyway, more tomorrow- I really have written far too much tonight!!

 

[Bonhomme]

I've never been to America myself but, from reading SoSuave, which i'd say is largely American, i'd say that its the norm over there to make a cold approach on a bird in a normal everyday place like a bookshop or somewhere, talk to her for a bit, before asking for her number, with a view to setting up a date. However, i've never used this approach myself in Britain, nor do i know anybody else who actually has. At the same time, i can't think of any good reason why it shouldn't work here too.

Yeah, that sort of thing is pretty common here. We Yanks tend to be pretty opportunistic. As a matter of fact, in a recent interview, Julia Stiles made some comment to the effect that guys in England are too shy about approaching.

It's still smart to elicit signals before approaching IMNSHO. At least make eye contact and smile and see if she responds favorably.

Don't be so concerned withe the technicalities (how many minutes, etc.) as the quality of the experience itself. You're doing just fine. Keep at it.

********

The cool statuesque bird was not at the club last night.

I just danced a lot, chatted a bit with my mates and the DJ (a female acquaintance who I'd get with in a minute if she wasn't married), and flirted with a few of the cute club dancers, but it was just light fun stuff, with no strong vibe. I only got signals or good looks from a few gals who didn't interest me or -- strangely enough -- were hooked up with other guys. I'll catch that bird some other time. We definitely had a good vibe.

 

[GodsGiftToFatBirds]

Day 2 week 2

Yeh thats kinda what i thought regarding the differeneces between the Britain and American approach to cold approaches. At the same time, I see no reason why it couldn't work in Britain in the right situation and if you're getting the right vibes, although i couldn't imagine doing what some guys on these boards do- just going up to birds randomly, asking their name and then going 'Hey give us your number and I'll call you'. I think, because thats not normal here in Britain, it would just freak most girls out. I think it can work here but only in the right situation.

Anyway, day 2 of week 2 bootcamp. Initiated a good conversation with another guy in the gym, turned out we knew a lot of the same people, so had plenty to talk about. The gym approach is a very easy one to pull off- something simple like 'how's your session going?' is a very easy opener that gets people talking.
I think later in the week, i'll want to get the conversations in different situations, and with women more than guys, but for now, i reckon talking to a guy in the gym is a good way to build up confidence.
Anyway, thats 2 and a half conversations now out my target 10 (read my previous post if you don't get how i managed half a conversation!).
Would write more but i'm getting ready to go out this evening, so i'm posting early.
See yas later!

 

[GodsGiftToFatBirds]

Day 3 Week 2

Yo
Went out last night after i posted. Went out with a big group of mates as it was a mates birthday. Went out to a club i never normally go to in a different town, the birds there were b!tches, all had their heads up their own arses, the same approaches i usually get good responses from birds with, even if they're not actually interested in me, were met with 1 word responses and faces like a smacked pigs arse.
Didn't bother myself with the birds after i while and just had a laugh with my mates. In any case, not counting approaches/ convos when i'm out drinking towards my bootcamp, as I wanna do it sober rather than cheat confidence through alcohol.
Bootcamp today, didn't actually get any more done as I was hardly out n about at all.
Finding this week quite tricky so far in terms of finding situations where you can actually have a conversation with a stranger- like in week 1, i could just say i'll go out for half an hour, say hi to a load of people and have my bootcamp done for today, whereas this week is very different.
Been thinking of situations where you can easily have a conversation with a stranger without going up to people randomly, as I think this comes off as a bit weird. Will have classes for the rest of week 2, with me being at university, so that should be a good one- think i'll try to turn up 5 minutes early for classes to have chance to talk to people before classes begin.
The gym's another good one, and one that i've used a fair bit so far.
Might also go out tomorrow night, but stay sober, so that i can count approaches/ convos there (at the bar, on the dancefloor etc).
Other than those situations, i'm struggling for ideas a little bit, except for those occassional situations when you come across someone and a convo just comes easy, for whatever reason.
Think I'm gonna have a read through some other Bootcamp threads for week 2- see if i can get any ideas. I'm also interested to see how far out of your way you other guys doing bootcamp go, in order to complete week 2. Like for example, if you just do it by taking advantage of the kind of easy opportunities i've mentioned, or whether you actually go up and talk to people in all kinds of situations to get the 10 convo's to complete the week.
Anyway thats enough of a ramble for now i think.
More tomorrow!!

 

[GodsGiftToFatBirds]

Day 3 Week 2

Yo
Went out last night after i posted. Went out with a big group of mates as it was a mates birthday. Went out to a club i never normally go to in a different town, the birds there were b!tches, all had their heads up their own ar$es, the same approaches i usually get good responses from birds with, even if they're not actually interested in me, were met with 1 word responses and faces like a smacked pigs ar$e.
Didn't bother myself with the birds after i while and just had a laugh with my mates. In any case, not counting approaches/ convos when i'm out drinking towards my bootcamp, as I wanna do it sober rather than cheat confidence through alcohol.
Bootcamp today, didn't actually get any more done as I was hardly out n about at all.
Finding this week quite tricky so far in terms of finding situations where you can actually have a conversation with a stranger- like in week 1, i could just say i'll go out for half an hour, say hi to a load of people and have my bootcamp done for today, whereas this week is very different.
Been thinking of situations where you can easily have a conversation with a stranger without going up to people randomly, as I think this comes off as a bit weird. Will have classes for the rest of week 2, with me being at university, so that should be a good one- think i'll try to turn up 5 minutes early for classes to have chance to talk to people before classes begin.
The gym's another good one, and one that i've used a fair bit so far.
Might also go out tomorrow night, but stay sober, so that i can count approaches/ convos there (at the bar, on the dancefloor etc).
Other than those situations, i'm struggling for ideas a little bit, except for those occassional situations when you come across someone and a convo just comes easy, for whatever reason.
Think I'm gonna have a read through some other Bootcamp threads for week 2- see if i can get any ideas. I'm also interested to see how far out of your way you other guys doing bootcamp go, in order to complete week 2. Like for example, if you just do it by taking advantage of the kind of easy opportunities i've mentioned, or whether you actually go up and talk to people in all kinds of situations to get the 10 convo's to complete the week.
Anyway thats enough of a ramble for now i think.
More tomorrow!!