"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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GodsGiftToFatBirds 3 Week Challenge!

GodsGiftToFatBirds

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Hi chaps!

First of all, this is my first post on SoSuave in 7 and a half years! I was on here many moons ago. Between 2004 and 2005 I had a Bootcamp Diary log on here http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=62685&highlight=GodsGiftToFatBirds

At the time I wrote this, I was aged 20 to 21 and in my final year at university in the UK (I'm British). Doing this challenge at the time made a massive difference in increasing my sociability and confidence, which led to decent success with women.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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GodsGiftToFatBirds

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However, over the past 9 years, I would say that the sociability and confidence I built up back then has dropped off. Between 2006 and 2010, I had 3 relationships. Being in these meant that I wasn't going out chatting to people nearly as much. In 2011, I started Internet dating (as much as anything because of working shifts making it more difficult to go out meeting people). I've been doing Internet dating since then with, in all honesty, no massive success. I've been on a hell of a lot of dates and there's been girls that I've been seeing for 2 or 3 months (including one that I've just ended) but for some reason, I've never been massively attracted to any of them. For whatever reason, I'm more attracted to women if I've met them in 'real life' but due to the availability of the Internet, I haven't actually done that for the past 3 years.
 

JohnChops

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Welcome back :)

I only made it through the first two weeks but that was two years ago, I noticed it helped me a lot with my game. Your journal makes me want to start one now lol. Good stuff mate!
 

GodsGiftToFatBirds

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So now, aged 30, I've decided it's time to try to rediscover the confidence and the sociability that I built up all those years ago. I've set myself a mission over the next 3 weeks:

Each day, I will actively seek out conversations with people I don't know. For each decent length conversation (2 minutes or more), I'll award myself a point. If the conversation is with a woman I'd sleep with, it's 3 points.

This is very similar to what I did in the original Bootcamp Diary - I can remember that it really brought me out of my shell a lot. As an incentive, I'll punish myself if I don't achieve 3 points in a day. For every point I'm short, I'll be putting £1 in a charity box. So if I do sod all in a week, it'll cost me £21! I'd also appreciate it if as many people as possible would comment, even if it's just a few words...................knowing people are following it will make me do it!

Thanks guys!
 

GodsGiftToFatBirds

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John: thanks a lot...............try my challenge as well if you like...........having somebody else doing the same thing would be terrific motivation
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Mike32ct

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GodsGiftToFatBirds said:
So now, aged 30, I've decided it's time to try to rediscover the confidence and the sociability that I built up all those years ago. I've set myself a mission over the next 3 weeks:

Each day, I will actively seek out conversations with people I don't know. For each decent length conversation (2 minutes or more), I'll award myself a point. If the conversation is with a woman I'd sleep with, it's 3 points.

This is very similar to what I did in the original Bootcamp Diary - I can remember that it really brought me out of my shell a lot. As an incentive, I'll punish myself if I don't achieve 3 points in a day. For every point I'm short, I'll be putting £1 in a charity box. So if I do sod all in a week, it'll cost me £21! I'd also appreciate it if as many people as possible would comment, even if it's just a few words...................knowing people are following it will make me do it!

Thanks guys!
The "money game" is very effective. I did that with a wingman about 8 years ago. I gave him $50, and I got $5 back for every approach I did that night. So if I did all ten approaches (which I did), then there was no penalty. It is possible to do the money game by yourself though with some self-discipline.
 

GodsGiftToFatBirds

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The "money game" is very effective

It certainly is when you're a Yorkshireman like me! (for all you Americans not in the know, us Yorkshiremen are notoriously tight with our cash! I do fully intend to have the self-discipline to do it by myself, although having people following my journal on here will certainly help.

Quick 10am update before I head into work: took my car into the garage for it's MOT first thing this morning. Took the dog for a walk for half an hour while they were doing it. When I got back, they were finishing off my car and there was another customer waiting (an old fella, about 60 or so). Struck up a conversation with him about dogs and a programme he'd watched on the telly about dangerous dogs etc. Conversation would've been a good 3 or 4 minutes so that's 1 point scored :)

I know it might seem to daft to some of you fellas that I'm giving myself points for chatting to old fellas at garages! But what I found when I did this last time is that talking to anyone anywhere made me much more chatty and sociable and this positive effect carried through to women also.

2 more points needed today to keep my cash in my wallet!
 

GodsGiftToFatBirds

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1st day complete! Got my 2nd conversation with 1 of the neighbours down the road of the house I was working at today (an old woman). 3rd one was a woman (probably mid 40's) who was walking her dog on the same field as I was walking mine on after work.

Neither conversation was difficult but making the effort to say more than hello and make an effort to build a conversation did make me feel more sociable and it got me feeling quite pumped for finding attractive women.................unfortunately there weren't any about and with things to do, I didn't want to go miles out my way to try and find any.............maybe tomorrow :)
 
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