Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

GOD, LEARNING WHAT WOMEN WANT IS LIKE HAVING A MAJOR IN COLLEGE!!

CollegeGuy56

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I have read a number of the items on the web page and the postings. What the heck? If you like her too much, she wont like u, if u dont like her enough, shell dump u, if u treat her like ****, shell like u, if u buy her a christmas gift, shell treat u like ****, etc, etc. WTF, there are so many rules and regulations, this makes it very easy to f*** up. I have never dated a girl. I am a 20 year old college student. I dont know what to do. I always want to talk to girls, but i dont know wtf to say. Most girls i see are on the bus, lots are hot blondes and i am a skinny black computer nerd (Electrical Enginnering) major too. I am fairly articulate and find myself wanting white preppy college sorority chicks. I dont know what to say to initiate conversations. I dont know what at all to do?
If I only have 30 secs to get her number, what do I do, or is this even feasible? If not, what if I have mroe time, like Im waiting on ths bus. This seems to be like more of an art, that I have no clue about. Will somebody help me, and not with vague suggestions like go up and talk to her like u would a guy and ask her for her number at the end or some crap. I need exact suggestions. BTW, what is KINO????
 

SAV40

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CG, I'll leave most of your questions for the experts, but take one piece of advice from a guy twice yor age: If you don't start now, it only gets harder!
 

Hef

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What school are u going to ? just talk to them about how they like the school / town / where they r from / etc, chit chat & ask for the number at some point or ask them to grab a cup of coffee.
College is a great time for hooking up with chicks, no other place you'll b surrounded by so many hot single chicks so u better get in gear while the party lasts
 

timmy124

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Kino=kinaesthetics

Its an art of touching someone, showing you want to do more other than just talk. Helps show you want a relationship.

-Tim
 

relapse

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I don't say this to attack you CG, but from how you write you sound desperate. I didn't have a girlfriend or get any action until I was 21 so you are not alone in that respect.

My suggestions are that you make YOURSELF a priority - women are nice to have around, but always be satisfied with yourself first and foremost. I made the mistake for YEARS of making my perception of success dependent on other people (e.g. women). Needless to say, I was often not successful. Be passionate about something, ANYTHING, except women.

Get involved in something physical, like martial arts, bodybuilding, etc. or anything that will improve your body. I've just now discovered that despite what women say they want (nice, stable, loving, smart men) it is still a major advantage for the guy to have a primal and physical energy about them. I'd highly suggest martial arts for that. Since you're in college, check the sports & leisure classes and see if a martial arts one is offered.

Lastly - think about what kind of woman you really want. If the preppy sorority chicks are that, then go for it. My own experience has been that these girls are more likely to be stuck up and selfish and I abhor dealing with people who are like that. Get involved with pursuits that interest you or might challenge you, and you'll be more likely to find a woman you enjoy spending time with. Being an EE major, there aren't many women in your field of study. I was a CS major so I know the problem well.

Check out campus clubs, the theatre department (drama girls! yum!), if you need work try working at the library circulation desk, volunteer at an animal shelter, learn Argentine tango or swing dancing, etc. Think about the women you're most interested in, then get involved in the things they tend to be involved in (except maybe cheerleading).

I believe pretty strongly that when you're satisfied with yourself, women want you.
The way you interact with people changes when you really like yourself. Women detect that satisfaction and you automatically become more desirable because of it. This is how it worked for me in the past, but I always fukked it up because I lost sight of what made me attractive - satisfaction with myself. Of course, now that I know, things are different.

Kino: Short for 'kinesthetic' I believe. It's when you do simple, casual touches on a woman so that she gets used to you touching her. It's also a test - if she doesn't like you, she'll pull away and put distance between you. You know not to waste your time then. Things like touching fingers when she hands you something, lightly touching her back to guide her out a door, etc.
 

Pook

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Anti Dump had a metaphor that I like a lot:

You should be free as a bird, flapping around, singing, full of joy with life. Women want to ****** the bird and throw it in a cage (cage = committment).

When birds try to fly into the cage, wouldn't you think something is wrong with that bird? After all, who wants a bird that WANTS to be in the cage? No, women want the birds that are FREE, WILD, and BEAUTIFUL. They want A GOOD CATCH. Good Catches do not fly into cages. Only wounded or needy birds do.

Women aren't complicated, our feelings just get in the way of what we WANT to do rather then what we SHOULD do. We want to rub their feet and build statues of them. We should demand respect and reward them only for good behavior.

True passion can only be achieved when the man is willing to walk away at a moment's notice. After all, if you say "I love you!" after a coffee date, then the passion is gone because you have shown that you will not walk away.

Flowers and gifts should be used as a REWARD, not as an item to BUY her affections.

When a woman treats you with indifference, you challenge her.

When a woman treats you with disrespect, you punish her by withdrawing your affection and time.

When a woman treats you well with respect and the affection you want, you reward her.

I think the solid line of thought that will get you as many girls as you want and keep your relationships bright and fiery is: Do not have desire.

Of course, being desire-less is impossible. You can go up to any guy and talk, right? You should be able to do the same with women. The only things that are holding you back is 1) Not understanding women 2) Desire makes you too nervous and uptight.

With all the great articles at this site and this message forum, you'll eliminate number 1 quite fast. Number 2 is a bit harder. Some people are naturals at it (Peak). Others have to go through a long series of crash and burns, rejections, and horrible relationships before they realize it was their desire that made them overlook all flaws and made them act illogically (Anti-Dump).

You should be commended since MOST men think they are MASTERS at romance (everyone thinks they are right about everything). By coming here, you are already on the path to becoming a DON JUAN. Soon, women will tremble with passion in your presence. If you're serious about educating yourself, then this site is going to change your life.

It did for me.

------------------
Pook
"As you think, you shall become."
"Men will be nice when nice guys get laid."
 

The Cynical Man

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"True passion can only be achieved when the man is willing to walk away at a moment's notice. After all, if you say "I love you!" after a coffee date, then the passion is gone because you have shown that you will not walk away.

Flowers and gifts should be used as a REWARD, not as an item to BUY her affections.

When a woman treats you with indifference, you challenge her.

When a woman treats you with disrespect, you punish her by withdrawing your affection and time.

When a woman treats you well with respect and the affection you want, you reward her."

---------------------------------------------

Most excellent advice!!! I will definitely remember that stuff, cuz that's the best way to put it that I've heard so far. There should be a 'top 10 rules list for Don Juan's'... And these should be in there...

My answer to the question titled in this post is simply:

WHAT THE F DO ***YOU*** WANT?!?!?
 

terminator911

Master Don Juan
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I don't have any suggestions, but wanted to quote a line from Pook that seriously made me think twice...

The greatest risk you can take in life, is to take none at all and I belive that truer words have never been spoken.


------------------
"Women. They've got half the money in the world and all the pu$$y."

[This message has been edited by terminator911 (edited 12-03-2000).]
 

BigBadJon

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Pook, you're a prodigy. Your posts are enlightening to say the least.

Originally posted by Pook:
Flowers and gifts should be used as a REWARD, not as an item to BUY her affections.
Most of us are guilty of putting the chicken before the egg. Buying gifts to win her over is one example. Expecting others to respect you and want to be around you when you don't love yourself is another.

When a woman treats you with indifference, you challenge her.
I am starting to learn the value of this tactic.
 

Survivor

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CG, my brotha,

I think what you might be looking for is this:

"The Don Juan Discussion Forum's 100% Guaranteed 3-Step Method to Having Wild Freaky Sex Orgies With Hot Preppy Sorority Chicks Every Night Of The Week And Twice On Sundays"

Unfortunately, no such web site exists. There is no sure fire, cut and dry way to attract women.

Hey, I'm a black EE nerd too so I feel your pain.(except for the white girl fixation, but that's irrelevant.) I've been through what you're going through. Like you, I was a nice guy who didn't know how women operated and I couldn't control my own desire.

Like you, I was rejected for being a Steve Urkel look-alike. I had the reputation around campus of being a shy, weak a$$ punk.

Sure, I had a few dates, a girlfriend or two. But they never lasted for two reasons.

1) I was always thinking with the wrong head.

2) I was an emotional slut.

So as expected all of them ended up using me.
I only had myself to blame.

But what got me through was my music. I've been playing piano since a was a small child. Whenever I felt bad about being alone, I channeled my emotions through a song. Music is my mistriss. (I have yet to find my wife.)

I also had my coursework. Its a good thing EE was as tough as it was. It forced me to focus on doing well in my classes and not be distracted my all the females that were rejecting me. Just curious...How are you doing in school? (You don't have to answer.)

I became a workaholic, working as a PC techinician part-time at a local hospital. I was overworked and underpaid. I saw overcrowded admit rooms, stressed out doctors who couldn't treat patients because the network was down, which put real-world pressure on me and my crew. Patients with gunshot wounds, blood stained ER beds, I was setting up computers next to crack babies in intensive care. I saw life. I saw death. I saw how silly it was to worry about having a girlfriend. I left that job thankful that I simply had my family and my health. It really put things in perspective.

Last July, I discovered this forum. The guys here have helped tremendously with my self-improvement process.

The hard work paid off and now I'm gonna be graduating in a week. I don't have a girlfriend, but this is still one of the happiest times of my life. I don't NEED a girlfriend. With the money I'll be making and the stability I'll provide, I will have a much different problem with females than the one I had in college (i.e. liars, golddiggers, drama queens). Now I'm the one doing the rejecting. Ain't life ironic?

My advice to you is this:

1) Self-improvement. Self-improvement. Self-improvement. This means prioritizing, lifting weights, managing your time, improving your looks, getting a job, etc. This will give you the confidence you're looking for.

2) Focus on doing well in school. EE is no joke, CG. Don't get distracted by your own fantasies. Remember why you're in college to begin with. It will pay off in the long run. Trust me.

3) Find something that you love MORE than women. Make that your mistress.

4) Stay on this site. This is a treasure trove of FREE information about how women think.

5) Join a club. Find an interesting club and mingle with the female members. This will improve your social skills.

Please CG, take this advice from a brother who's been there, don't obsess over your problem. I know you're pretty horny right now but you gotta learn to control yourself.

Take a break from girls and focus on yourself for a while. You'll feel alot better and less stressed out.

It does get better in the end. I'm proof of it.

Take care, CG.

'Survivor

PS: Just in case you do find the "3-Step Method to Having Wild Freaky Sex Orgies With Hot Preppy Sorority Chicks Every Night Of The Week And Twice On Sundays" website, please post the url so I can go there too!

[This message has been edited by Survivor (edited 12-04-2000).]
 

The Cynical Man

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"1) I was always thinking with the wrong head.
2) I was an emotional slut."

Good stuff, Survivor...

Just as men don't like women that are physically slutty, women don't like men that are emotionally slutty. (i.e. wimp)

Guys, don't be an emotional slut.
You da MAN.

BTW, Steve Urkel ownz...

 

ChrisFl

Master Don Juan
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> The greatest risk you can take in life, is to take none at all and I belive that truer words have never been spoken.

Yeah. Another version of it I've heard is that when you're older & look back on your life, you'll have more regrets over things you DIDN'T do than things you DID. (This doesn't always apply to stuntmen or those who don't use condoms, however.
)


> If you don't start now, it only gets harder!

No kidding. If you think this stuff is hard to figure out in high school or college, try getting your act together in your 30s. The idea of all those young, fit, childless, never-married college girls sounds pretty good now.
 

SAV40

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You are not just a "SURVIVOR", you are a "WINNER", and it shines right through in your post!.....If a woman read that, she'd hunt you down!
 

john

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dymesman needs to get a hold of survivors advice. it would do him a lot of good.
 

artisano

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Okay, so your twenty and you've never dated, that means it doesn't come naturally for you - and that's why your here to learn. Good start. Here is some practical advice for you. Picking up girls on a bus is not the easiest thing to do - it is totally possible, but it is more like advanced DJ technique. So you need to start with something a little easier. I think your big blockage is that initial breaking of the ice and just talking to some woman. Like anything it gets easier with experience, and as you get older and gain more of sense of who you are it will continue to get easier. But for now what you have to do is lessen this blockage by talking to girls who you do not have to break through this big wall. In other words women who are already in some part of your life. Friends of friends. Start building a network of social situations in which you will be meeting people - then they will introduce you to their friends. Talking to a girl who you have been introduced to is a whole world of difference than a stranger. I don't know enough about you to suggest exactly how you will build up this network of friends. But just use all the stuff your learning on this site with these new women you meet through friends. Once you start to make some headway you can try it on women in public. Also, just get a girl - don't be picky, just get the first one you can (even if she's not that great looking). Then just having a girl to go out with, and to make out with, etc. will begin to boost your confidence. Then build up to the ones you really want.
 

lordclem*

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wow colleguy
i think your should post a relpy saying thanks to everyone who posted here they have posted some good sh!t!! use the advice !

i also know where ur coming from i am 19 ,black,studying engineering in my last year of college,hoping to go to uni and major in telecom.
i guess i have always had to good body (only noticed like 4 yrs ago)but i had no confidence and was a losser nice guy.
now :this site and the people here (and other things)changed that, i am confident and can talk to girls,heck i even understand them somewhat!! how many times do u here the question 'what does a woman what'..a man
men what sex money power(saw that in playboy one of the articles!)
i have am still inproving ie working out for a six pack hell just today i when to the library looked at the self help bit ....
and took home at about how to 'communicate with confidence' mind power series
and another about 'taking charge of your life'
these will not only help me with women but also the rest of my life !!
so lift your head up n!gga

ps u dont what to be one of those guys who work long and hard for your money then have some hoe take half if not all of it alway
 

thecraftylefty

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This post and the replies were made back when the forum had less than 1,000 posters. I'm pointing this out because the quality of posts and posters in those days were off the charts. Utterly amazing.

But the reason I came back to read some of these posts is because I like knowing how the guys with a lot of tenure on this site started out. I like to know their background and a little bit of the history of how this place started out. And those who aren't familiar with the history of the "world" often are doomed to repeat it themselves. Just a heads up.

thecraftylefty
 
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