"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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God Damn it I'm pissed

Cheiradawg

Master Don Juan
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I ****ing hate myself. I ****ing ****ing hate myself. God damn it I'm such a *****. I hate girls damn it, it always feels like they are better than me. If feels like I'm always in their ****ing sandbox instead of them being in mine. I hate the ****. And the problem is I have no ****ing real friends. I don't have a life and I'm ****ing always the *****. It is that simple. I hate the ****.

But I don't know what to. I have no firends of any real extent, and I'm just ****ing lost in general. Got damn it.

Tonight, I ****ing sat around dinking beer by myself then my bud say they are going to a bar. Ok cool, this never happons to me I ****ing never go out at all. But we go to the bar and I'm a drunk ****. Totall dumbass and I ****ing hate it. God why the **** am I so week. I hate the ****. I ****ing hate it. Then we go to this girls places that they know and I had to walk home for some reason. I hate being a dumb ass. But it is like I seeing that other side of people that I never get to see it so fun that I always end up being a *****. I hate being the ***** always. Bah! **** IT!
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Ken785

Master Don Juan
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damn dude...chill. youre only mad at yourself because YOU make yourself mad at yourself. your only a dumbass because you make yourself a dumbass. Change your thoughts and attitude about yourself and the way you look at life and youll live better, trust me. whatever it takes....change of wardrobe,hair,work on changing your attitude...maybe act more mature and youll be a better person. Even if you just changed yourself a little and your still a dumbass....youll be a better person and look at life different then you did before so shyt only gets better.

Tell everybody Ken785 said that shyt.
 

karusel

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Dec 26, 2003
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Well for starters it might be a good idea to avoid using words for which you know are going to become *****. It's annoying but incidentally it contributes to create the atmosphere you're in.

Stop drinking alcohol since it doesn't really help you forward. Ask your friends or 'friends' to go out for a couple of drinks, a bar then a club perhaps. Approach girls. If they hate you, f*uck it, eventually you'll get smoother and one will fall for you and all will be well. That sayeth karusel the fortune teller. :D

As for the nerves and frustration, I suggest listening to a tape of 'Eye of the tiger' all over it, while running up and down some ridiculously long stairs and also, buy a sandbag and a pair of kickboxing gloves. Trust me, nothing resets, relaxes and puts you straight like a few mile run and a couple of rounds with the sandbag. Well, f*cking a nympho maybe, but that concludes it.
 

jakethasnake

Master Don Juan
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Dude - I think this guys more drunk than anything. :D Everyone has things about themselves that they dislike, but it seems to be amplified when they're on the drink. It'll pass.... watch this guy log on tommorrow and say that he was drunk, and being an ass. :D
 
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