Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

goals, goals, goals

Throttle

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This is directed specifically at body size & other fitness goals, but really it generalizes to other aspects of self-improvement.

When you post a question on this board, you almost always need to tell us about your goals (that is, your MOTIVATION), and to a large extent, the more specific you can be, the better. this does not always mean giving numbers, though this might include your CURRENT numbers: height, weight, caloric intake, max lifts, etc.

BUT most of the numerical goals you guys approach us with are nonsense: i want to weigh 200 lbs. lean, i want to gain 40 lbs of lean muscle in X number of months, i want to lose 4 lbs per week, i want to have 19 inch guns. whatever.

set aside that some of those goals may be realistic for some people under certain circumstances (and not for others). these aren't real goals. real goals look like this:

- I want to be happy with how i look in street clothes.

- I want women to stare & insecure men to get jealous when i take my shirt off. (this is often erroneously stated as wanting to look like bruce lee or brad pitt in fight club)

- I want to be the biggest muther****er I can be, and I don't care how big that is.

- I want to take about X inches off my waist, b/c that will give me a hip:waist ratio that is healthy and attractive.

- I need to make weight for my favorite sport or activity.

i'm not endorsing or criticizing the specifics of these goals -- you may be pursuing all or none of these. notice any numbers given are usually incidental to the overall goal, which is usually something about health and/or appearance.

what do they have in common? this list is primarily qualitative, not quantitative goals. if you know what you want, qualitatively, and you know where you're at in terms of numbers, we can give you some numbers to shoot for in the short, medium, and long run.

but the real key here is this: what is your motivation? some guys will tell you that there are good and bad motivations. i don't care, because i know that most of the time we couldn't change your motivation if we tried. i just want to know what your motivation is, and i'll tailor my advice accordingly.

and, if i think your motivation is really stupid, i'll tell you that, too. we're good at that here.
 

I-tallionStallion

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Throttle...EXCELLENT POST.

So many people don't get it, they are too concerned with numbers than what they are looking at in the mirror. I could have not said it better than you...now if we can just get the beginners to read this :D
 

spesmilitis

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Great posts.

Here's what I use to determine how much effort I put into my goals:

Work put into goals = passion you have for those goals

If the left side of the equation is bigger than the right side, you are overworking and will eventually get burned out. If the right side of the equation is bigger than the left side, you are underachieving.
 

Throttle

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spesmilitis said:
If the left side of the equation is bigger than the right side, you are overworking and will eventually get burned out. If the right side of the equation is bigger than the left side, you are underachieving.
I like that. Many people seem determined to put their heads down and push through things they don't like. If you don't enjoy what you're doing (for the intrinsic rewards) there had better be something real big and juicy waiting for you at the end (extrinsic rewards).

Others (or the same people in different circumstances) seem to give up too easily, because they've been trained to receive extrinsic rewards every step along the way. Life just ain't like that.

Unfortunately, modern psychology & neuroscience are showing that we all have pretty messed up internal reward systems. A gut check is important, but it's also good to kick this stuff around with others. Esp. important for all the 'lone wolf' types around here.
 

BMX

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I lift because I'm intrinsically motivated...that means I do it because I like it. I don't need to look for external validation, I have plenty of internal benefits from working out including: more energy for the day, I feel good and I get a restful night of sleep easily. Making it through another workout w/o injury and the employment of proper technique motivates me because I get to continue doing what I enjoy. I don't care what I lifted when I started, or how much I will do in the future, I lift for today in order to quench my motivation.

What is your motivation? Throttle has a good point. Remember, the past is history, the future is a mystery and the present is a gift.
 

guayaballer

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I want women to start thinking lustful thoughts the moment i take off my shirt. once I achieve that, I want to get as strong as humanly possible and use that strength in the sports I play. <--- sounds good?
 

Kerpal

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To be stronger, more powerful, and better conditioned. I don't give a **** what I look like.
 

Chillisauce

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I want to be bigger for my sport, for the next weight class up i will have to put on around 22 pounds.

I want other men to respect me more, i end up getting in fights very often because drunk jocks think i'm an easy target (expensive haircut/clothing, very skinny and too friendly with 'their' women) Some more size and i believe i won't have to punch as many people and have my expensive shirts torn.

I want women to know i do 20 hours of phsyical training a week BEFORE i already have them in my bed, am taking my shirt off and they notice i'm incredibly cut.

I want to (and have to some extent already have) prove my family wrong who all say its my genetics to be very thin and to just accept it.

I want to prove to myself i actually have some discipline and can stick to a program for its duration. My biggest character weakness is laziness, if i can't do this i probably won't respect myself. I failed once 3 years ago but am 2/3 through this HST program, so so far so good.

Those are my qualitative goals which leads to the quantitative goal of putting on 10kg of muscle. The method i will achieve this is continuing with my physical cardio training while eating even more to compensate for this and to go on several more HST cycles. Once my body fat rises i will eat my maintenance amount and let the cardio/weights burn the fat off. I want to do this over the next two years.

You all now know more about my motivations than most of my friends, who's next? :)
 

Interceptor

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The main thing that EVERYONE needs to understand is this:

HOW CLEAR AND DEFINED ARE YOUR GOALS??


Heres something else,:

HOW ARE YOU COMMUNICATING YOUR GOALS TO YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS?

If your language is vague and fuzzy, you will get vague and fuzzy results.

If you dont have a clear PLAN on how to achive them you will WASTE valueable resources gettign there if at all....
 

Quiksilver

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A method I used to use(and should start using again!) is post-it notes. I put them right beside the door of my room on the wall.

I keep the messages short and to the point, two or 3 words.

It helps because whenever I leave my room, I then have my To-Do/Goals in my mind, and things just flow naturally from there.

Keeping stuff in your mind is not reality, it's almost a different dimension. Bring your goals into reality by writing them down. It really does help.
 

romangod

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My goals and motivation is to enter my golden years with strength and agility. Being mobile is important to me and I work my legs hard to keep them strong.
 

mrRuckus

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Quiksilver said:
Keeping stuff in your mind is not reality

So these words I'm typing now are just spontaneously generated from the ether? I see.
 

SharinganUser

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Well in terms of goals. I want to become a great fighter. Get my black belt, and put people in their place if they wanna mouth off at me.
 

JohnnyIrish

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Several here.. One my stomach is as picky and fickle as a 2 year old girl so eating 'right' is very important for me (unless I want to be stuck in the ****ter).. Now that I eat tons of protein and veggies all the time so many of the stomach problems I use to have vanished entirely! Eating like this I even find I can occasionally eat the 'bad' foods (read the foods that bother my stomach) and get away with it.

Other then women, making things efficient in life gives me wood.. so since I've learned to cook followed by cooking multiple meals at a time for the whole week (storeing them in the freezer).. has made things so much easier and I don't miss meals due to laziness to cook now.

Other then diet.. I like many others have had a go at 'working out' in the past. Varried results.. but I never reached even close the point I wanted to.

This time I'm doing it to win, to achieve what I failed at in the past.. to feel better, to be stronger, to look better and well I'd be lying if I said I also don't look forward to the reactions from the women folk as well.

I also find it important to have something (or several things) that your doing in life or working on that you have a give you a good sense of progress/accomplishment and the gym is awesome for that in my experience.. as I can see my numbers go up on paper as well as see the results in the mirror.

Right now my short term goal is to have visible abs by summer (while also adding some serious strength).. something I've never had before.
 
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