go slow

[JUST ME]

I do not hear much about this on the board,so I will give my 2 cents.

First of all, I want to apoligize for my stubborn antics on the "anything else" board.I was a goof

Please accept my apology dj's.You know who you are.

My experience has been that women want you to fall in love with them as soon as possible.

Why? because once you are in love with her,even briefly,she(the woman you are dating)has you.We lose our posture alot,our appearance in her eyes of us,of how we are and how highly we think of ourselves and how patient and in control of our emotions that we are.

They control you.You owe it to yourself to ease into the relationship.Women really do "get off" on wondering where they stand with you.They do not think like us at all.We as men like to get comfortable and know our girlfriend does not want any other guy.We love knowing that she is "ours".

Women like the drama of wondering and thinking about where she stands in the BEGINNING of the RELATIONSHIP with you,AND WONDERING WHO ELSE YOU ARE SEEING,TALKING TO OR DATING.

EVER NOTICE SHE WILL ASK YOU LOTS OF QUESTIONS about your dating and personal life.This is a good thing actually,as it shows you are "getting to her", which in turn drives her curiousity and interest level up.This even works for you when you are not around her,even more so.

Ever really like a "9",and wonder how many other guys she is seeing when you have just had a couple dates with her? Its 10 times more like that with women.

Let her come at you and chase you-women like this stuff and get off omn it and it somehow fufills their need for excitement.Other wise she will read romance novels and watch soap operas.

You can never go to slow with a girl who ALREADY HAS INTEREST IN YOU,only too fast.You must show value,worth and be DIFFERENT than the other guys she has dated or known.

It really is a game to her,especially at first.Like DOC LOVE says "She has 1 egg and We have a million sperm,meaning she has to protect her egg,be much more picky about who she is with and weed out all the AFC'S.

The less you talk about yourself and the past, the better.Focus on the positives, be a confident guy,even if you fake it,and always let her wonder oif you are dating other girls at first-for say,at least 2 months.

This will make her "work" for you and show how she really feels about you.Women love the competition for a guy they like.Mystery comes in,as she is thinking about you after a great date.

Like the "TAO OF STEVE" said."Be excellent in her presence, demonstrate value,and then dissapear."

We as guys in general must learn to slow it down a bit,be different than all the other guys,show value,patience,confidence and mystery when we are near her or talk to her.She will LOVE IT!She desperatly wants a guy she can truly respect.

Alot of girls I know really get bored quickly with a guy,no matter how "together" he is,if they know that he likes her.Weird,eh? That is just how women are.You can relax some of these tactics way after you know you own her heart,but still remember this;protect your heart,or she will push you,test you,and make your life with her a living hell,IF she knows she can use or abuse you emotionally.

Always let her know you will WALK out of her life forever if she disrespects you!

Remember,women do not want a "YES" MAN.Just ask a married woman.

 

[ali_g]

Good post! One of the strange, but true truths about women that I bet that most guys don't even know exists and women subconsciously are aware of it even though it seems illogical to them and they'll never tell guys that that's what they're after.

 

[Mercury21]

Don't you hate it when you take your time to post something interesting, giving advice, or asking for help, then nobody responds, or even gives you a sign that they read it? And you have to "bump" the message yourself in hopes people will respond....then you see some stupid post about some moron question or comment flaming from so many responses. My last post,just a few days ago asking for help on finding something got no replys. Oh,it go one: My own, asking why nobody was responding. Again,no responses,so I left it at that...that post must be over in page 2 or 3 of the discussion forum by now, that was just plain rude.

 

[DJinArizona]

I know what you mean, I've had some important posts that got ignored while some question that's been asked 50 times was getting replies.

 

[aurora]

"You can never go too slow with a girl who has interest in you"

Your post has good advice, but I disagree with you on this one. If you go too slow, the girl who has interest in you will think you have no interest in her and write you off for good. Or, you may drift into the LJBF zone if you don't show thart you are a man (demonstrate your sexual value).

I say through experience where I have had girls giving me all the buying signals and either through ignorance or just plain stupidity, I didn't act on them.

Otherwise, how can you be a challenge if you don't show them what you have (value)? I think the best advise is show them interest in the beginning then withdraw your attention and only give them attention sparingly and only when they deserve it. the concept of being a challenge only works when you show them what they have to lose.

 

[SoSuave.com]

Tips forum.

 

[hitop]

I agree. A woman has the biological need/urge to be able to choose her man. To chase and catch him. Although there are instances where the opposite is in effect.

 

[Darkart]

You can never go too slow? WTF? You can never go too fast with a girl with High Interest Level, if they give you those "phuck me now" eyes", then do it.
They are along for the ride.

If you go slow you can only give yourself more time to mess up. She will be seeing other men everyday, and you will no longer be a mystery.

Go fast even if you want a LTR, it makes no sence to go slow.

 

[DJ Girevik]

Originally posted by Darkart
You can never go too slow? WTF? You can never go too fast with a girl with High Interest Level, if they give you those "phuck me now" eyes", then do it.
They are along for the ride.

If you go slow you can only give yourself more time to mess up. She will be seeing other men everyday, and you will no longer be a mystery.

Go fast even if you want a LTR, it makes no sence to go slow.

Actually, it seems to me like it would differ with an LTR. If you're after an LTR, going too fast might get you screwed over, because what if you end up going too fast with her and you want an LTR, but you find out later that she's nothing like you once you get to know her better, and before you know it the relationship is dead. Too slow is also bad, but isn't a good medium in terms of speed the ideal in this case? That way you won't seem COMPLETELY uninterested, but you won't blatantly give away your interest either, and that will keep her wondering, and if an LTR is what you want then you'll have more time to get to know her a little better first...

 

[Gaming111]

If I read correctly, this Tip is NOT about going too fast sexually. It's about going too fast emotionally or with commitment. Sure, fvck her at the first opportunity. But don't let her know you actually like her until much, much later.

People need to read more than the subject line before they reply.

 

[radiodude]

Just Me-
You've posted some good ideas about how to add certain effects to a relationship/dating situation. But I disagree w/ you on a fairly main premise here. I do not agree that women automatically lose desire for you when you get into a relationship w/ them. The ones who do aren't LTR material anyway in the first place. Any woman that would lose interest in me or see me as less of a man the minute we got into a relationship isn't worth 2 seconds of my time.

Unless we just want to fvck them...these are women we need to be avoiding. Of course some women lose interest the minute you decide to get into a relationship w/ them. This is b/c they are only intersted in the IDEA of a relationship, and not the reality of one. To them, it's all about the fluff. The chase is more important than what they are chasing. Drama.

I want a woman who wants to be with me for the 'man' I am. Not for the effect her chasing me has on her. Now, obviously you don't move too fast. The natural progression of the relationship will dictate that. But, don't waste your time trying to get w/ a girl that obviously has no real interest in you except for the FEELING she gets from chasing after you. Psychologically unhealthy !!

Yes, these are great ideas for spicing the first couple months up, but if we know the minute we get into a relationship w/ them that they will lose interest, then whats the point????

If when you get into a relationship w/ her, and this causes you to lose stature in her eyes, it's b/c you're not really being the MAN she needs. Her view of you is being dictated by the context. You just have to be that much more in control once the relationship starts. You simply make up for the lack of euphoria that WILL come in ALL relationships...no matter how healthy the chick. But, as I said, these girls are not healthy to begin with, that is, the ones who automatically drop you b/c you are now their bf, which is what they supposedly wanted to begin with.

This effect is great to use anytime in a relationship when things might get stale, among the many other things that can be used to spice things up.

Good post...I'm just disagreeing with what seems to be the idea that the minute a relationship get's underway she no longer wants you.

 

[Master Of The World]

great job

you know that most of the times you run out of words to express the quality of the information you get on this site....

astounding !!