"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Go shopping with a girl you just met?

SgtSplacker

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Met this girl on POF, she's seeing other people too but we hang out every so often and fondle each other. Last couple times I asked her to hang she already had plans with this dude she likes. That's cool I have other interests also. But yesterday she asks me if I wanted to go shopping with her and I told her I was busy. I'm not about to basically tell her that I will do anything to spend time with her, screw that noise. It's just a chance for me to spend bread on non banging activities anyways. I just want to hang out with her at night when it's more fun and may lead to sex. Today I see interest levels a little higher after that little denial, i'm pretty sure going would have been a bad move. What do you guys think?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Speculator E

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yeah, she was likely just trying to use you to spend money on her.
 

LittleBigOne

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When you feel bad about the idea then don´t do it. Take charge and ask her something to do what YOU like.
 

seethehoop

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Shopping is one of those situations that have to be considered in context. Given these circumstances I would have done the same as you. Being her little shopping buddy would have been a fastrack to the FZ. I’d imagine she would have had you waiting whilst she tried on clothes etc asking your opinion on each outfit. This is not a good place to be.

However, if YOU want to go shopping for something, IE a new gadget or toy etc and you want to bring her along then that’s cool. You could even treat her to a light lunch or coffee for her attendance but only if you are in a relationship with her!

The thing is there’s a difference with shopping and shopping! When a man goes shopping he already knows what he’s going for. He has probably searched the net for the best option and the best deal. So when he goes in he already knows what he’s going for and will be in and out asap. Your reasons are purely to serve a purpose.

When a woman goes shopping she is going to find something to fill her emotionally, new shoes to look good, new clothes to look good, new perfume to smell good. It’s all to serve her emotions. If they feel that what they have bought will make them look better they will feel better. Women call it retail therapy for a reason.

The only time I would accompany a woman for clothes shopping would be for holiday clothes and she is my full time GF or a suit for an occasion etc.

The alternative could have been that you could have met her for lunch then gone your own way but again I would only do this if I had a reason to go to the shops to pick up something for myself.

I would never trawl around clothes shops with a woman.
NO CHANCE!

Remember "Shopping" is a woman's territory, you want to invite them in to your world not be a visiter in theirs.
 

SgtSplacker

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I felt the same way about the friend zone thing. I swear I was almost offended when she asked. I like the role of the drinking buddy that you are intimate with just fine. If she proves she is worth my time then i'll consider her for more. Now she just has my shields up a little stronger for trying to knock me into betaville like that. Chick has a cop fetish too so its obvious she doesn't appreciate a pushover...

Man if you don't regulate these girls, they will ruin you.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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zekko

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Tyler from RSD gives taking a girl with you to buy a shirt as an ideal first "date". So there's nothing wrong with shopping. It's a great way to get to know each other. It's not like a movie where you can't talk much, and there's plenty of opportunity for kino.

However, Tyler's point was to invite the girl into your life, into whatever you were doing. This is a case of the girl inviting you into her life, so that might be a different thing. Women going shopping can also be a very dragged out affair.
 

SgtSplacker

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zekko said:
Tyler from RSD gives taking a girl with you to buy a shirt as an ideal first "date". So there's nothing wrong with shopping. It's a great way to get to know each other. It's not like a movie where you can't talk much, and there's plenty of opportunity for kino.

However, Tyler's point was to invite the girl into your life, into whatever you were doing. This is a case of the girl inviting you into her life, so that might be a different thing. Women going shopping can also be a very dragged out affair.
This is a great example of something I have believed for a long time. Women can't handle leading like men can. They let it get to their head and make stupid decisions/conclusions.

Man takes woman shopping, relationship gets better.

Woman takes man shopping, she friend zones him and thinks he's a beta...
 

seethehoop

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Yeah that's about right but its chick logic. it's like when they buy something in a sale for £200 down from £400. They see it as saving £200 you see it as spending £200. They are creatures but I'm learning to jus accept them for what they are and not hold it against them.
 

Trump

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SgtSplacker said:
Met this girl on POF, she's seeing other people too but we hang out every so often and fondle each other. Last couple times I asked her to hang she already had plans with this dude she likes. That's cool I have other interests also. But yesterday she asks me if I wanted to go shopping with her and I told her I was busy. I'm not about to basically tell her that I will do anything to spend time with her, screw that noise. It's just a chance for me to spend bread on non banging activities anyways. I just want to hang out with her at night when it's more fun and may lead to sex. Today I see interest levels a little higher after that little denial, i'm pretty sure going would have been a bad move. What do you guys think?
IMO, would be careful when a girl thinks she can lead..."wow this guy has no direction, he does what I tell him, how weak".

If you are going to say yes...make sure you back it up by saying you were actually thinking of going shopping.
 

nismo-4

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SgtSplacker said:
Met this girl on POF, she's seeing other people too but we hang out every so often and fondle each other. Last couple times I asked her to hang she already had plans with this dude she likes. That's cool I have other interests also. But yesterday she asks me if I wanted to go shopping with her and I told her I was busy. I'm not about to basically tell her that I will do anything to spend time with her, screw that noise. It's just a chance for me to spend bread on non banging activities anyways. I just want to hang out with her at night when it's more fun and may lead to sex. Today I see interest levels a little higher after that little denial, i'm pretty sure going would have been a bad move. What do you guys think?

Man takes woman shopping, relationship gets better.

Woman takes man shopping, she friend zones him and thinks he's a beta...

Now she just has my shields up a little stronger for trying to knock me into betaville like that.
Judge nismo on the case.

See that part in blue? Your balls will be that color. Saying yes is a great way to get friendzoned. You did the right thing.

See that part in red? That's a red flag. Your princess is in another castle, and you know this.

See that part in green? The woman sure does! She likes when a man spends money on her. Love is a four letter word that's sometimes spelled c-a-s-h.

See that part in pink? That's a great way to get called pretty, friend, all summing up to gay. Not good, as that's a beta quality.

See that part in purple? Betaville is a city in Nebraska, near Omaha. She knows your shields are up. Don't let her string you along. Lay down the law.

Don't be her girly gay friend. If she doesn't wanna hang out at night, you need to move on. Have you tried kissing her? If not, you need to, so that this princess will want to come to your castle for your kum. That's the best thing that is for you, or you will be in Betaville, Nebraska. Your dik will be as dry as the cornfields there.

Case closed.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Zarky

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OP you're 39, you should be way more advanced than you are. "Hanging" with chicks for a chance to get "fondled" is something teenage guys do. And in Miami of all places!
 
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