Go for gold or stay nonchalant?

[LanceL]

Greetings from the East side of Earth!

I recently (2 days ago) stumbled on this website and damn I'd say I'm pretty much a 101% AFC and if its not too early, I'm looking for some advice for I have yet to find any on my predicament. Without further ado I'm gonna begin.

So, I've taken a liking to this girl just recently, shes a year older than me and fun to be with so, I told her(also learnt from the seasoned DJs here ) to get dinner a few days later and yeah shes fine with that. A couple of things I have to highlight, we're both still schooling (tertiary), I have a gut feeling that shes also interested in me.

A couple of questions I'm gonna put out :
1. I asked her out using an IM device, surely that is unforgivable?
2. Should I ask her to go exclusive with me on our first night out together? We've known each other for about 5 month or so.
3. Should i pick up the check?

Thanks in advance and by all means rip me a new one :|

 

[LanceL]

Thanks Espi, appreciate the curt reply.
Another few things I have to clarify. Its still a couple of days leading to the date and is it advisable to keep contact with her? I'm cutting contact right now. Also, I'm not bringing her out to a watering hole, I'm gonna get dinner and some dessert. Do I pick up all everything? I reckon its about $40 for each of us.

 

[Iceberg]

1. I asked her out using an IM device, surely that is unforgivable?

If it gets you the date, then who cares? We can't argue with results, right?

2. Should I ask her to go exclusive with me on our first night out together? We've known each other for about 5 month or so.

Should you ask a woman to be exclusive on your first date? No. Never. In fact, you should never ask a woman to be exclusive at all. That's the woman's role. The woman chases commitment, the man chases sex. This is how nature works.

What possible benefit could there be from asking a woman to be exclusive on the first date?

3. Should i pick up the check?

If she offers to pay, let her. If she offers to throw in money for the tip, let her. And if she doesn't offer to pay, then just pick up the tab. No point in arguing over something so trivial.

- On a side note, I strongly advise AGAINST dinner dates. They're boring, you spend the evening sitting across from each other instead of next to each other, and they're expensive. Take a girl out for a few drinks. Not dinner.

 

[LanceL]

Thanks Espi, Iceberg. Appreciate the curt reply. Also there are things I need to clarify.

There is still a couple of days leading up to the date and is it advisable to keep contact with her? Currently I'm in no contact mode.

About the sex thing, I understand where you're coming from. But right now I'm not looking for sex (the horrors) I'm looking for her to be my girlfriend. I'm 18 by the way.

Also, I'm bringing her to a dinner and dessert not a watering hole. I understand that its expensive and also not right next to each other and stuff but still, whats done is done. I believe it'll rack up to about $40 per person. Should i pick up the check then?

ALSO: Its really hard to post for some reason, my replies are not coming through...

 

[3countriesPlan]

Looking for a gf? Whatever floats your boat bro... anyways don't ask for commitment (wreaks of total faggotry), try to also weasel out of paying for her cause everything should be AA and you need to drill that into her head from the getgo. A coffee is fine though(the model I went out with last night was trying to buy me coffee however I politely declined). Otherwise if you start raining on her from day 1 she will expect you to keep raining on her...

 

[LanceL]

I understand and appreciate all your responses. Thank you very much guys!

 

[Iceberg]

Thanks Espi, Iceberg. Appreciate the curt reply. Also there are things I need to clarify.

There is still a couple of days leading up to the date and is it advisable to keep contact with her? Currently I'm in no contact mode.

About the sex thing, I understand where you're coming from. But right now I'm not looking for sex (the horrors) I'm looking for her to be my girlfriend. I'm 18 by the way.

Also, I'm bringing her to a dinner and dessert not a watering hole. I understand that its expensive and also not right next to each other and stuff but still, whats done is done. I believe it'll rack up to about $40 per person. Should i pick up the check then?

ALSO: Its really hard to post for some reason, my replies are not coming through...

My apologies. I didn't notice your response until Espi posted.

In regards to "looking for a girlfriend and not for sex"...

Do NOT make the mistake of treating "LTR-quality" girls differently. It's a mistake I had often made in my youth...and really I didn't correct the problem until recently in my life.

Whether she's "girlfriend material" or a ONS, a woman wants you to act like a man. She wants you to kiss her neck, to grab her under her clothes. She wants you to feel (and ACT) sexual towards her.

I've screwed up at least a half dozen opportunities with women by convincing myself "Ah this girl is LTR material...even though she invited me to her house....at night.....for drinks....she probably just wants to cuddle. She's not that type."

I'm not saying you have to finger bang her in a public bathroom. But do not hold back on your sexuality just because you think a girl is "girlfriend material". It's a terrible mistake, and I want to kick myself over the opportunities I've screwed up with that mindset.


....oh and again....Dinner and dessert is an awful date. I've done it plenty of times. Boring. Cliche. Predictable. Expected. Lacks personality.

God I hate dinner dates. Absolute boner-killer.

 

[Burroughs]

I'm not saying you have to finger bang her in a public bathroom.

hehehhe:rock: