Gloomy and retiring nature

[Matt Rogers]

Unfortunately I have been cursed with a rather gloomy nature-I think it is the Scot in me! I am a rather serious, introverted, and melancholy. I think positive and talk positively and put on a brave face and make lots of jokes, but am never going to pass off as Mr Happy or Mr Outgoing.

I am pleasant looking, intelligent and witty, and in good shape, and am rich. So in theory I shouldn't have a problem getting women, but I think my gloomy nature must put women off. As it is something that I cannot seem to change I was wondering how to use it to my advantage?

 

[ScrewIt]

From experience, i can say you cant use it to your advantage.
why is that? cause it affects your personality and aura in general.

"People's perception of you may not be the same as your perceive yourself." - Remember this.

The only option i see here is to change, dont be so serious looking, dont be introverted. if you cant help yourself, or break through that barrier...then thats it

 

[whistler]

Matt -

I suspect you still lack real confidence. Being confident leads to a more demanding, self-absorbed but sociable demeanor. It's guys that have an idea and a plan that draw others in. And I believe confidence leads to that.

Anyway, you've already read the billion posts on confidence.

You must feel inadequate in some areas of your life. I mean: deficits that you think make you less socially desirable. Do you fear you look too immature? Too weak? If you keep working out, eventually, you'll recognize a stronger man in the mirror, and your mind will catch up to your body. Just keep going.

I'll bet childhood rejection leads to socially isolating yourself (and a gloomy, reserved, ie: fearful) nature. So address your inadequacies, whether they're really present or not.

Addressing those perceived inadequacies will make you feel complete and adequate, and therefore confident.

Then it will all come together for you.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by Matt Rogers
As it is something that I cannot seem to change

If you're not happy with it, you can change it. This is part of who you are and, as such, is one of the few things in life that you have EXCLUSIVE control over.

Until you realize this, there's nothing we can tell you that's going to help.

 

[Mojo604]

Originally posted by whistler
Matt -

I suspect you still lack real confidence. Being confident leads to a more demanding, self-absorbed but sociable demeanor. It's guys that have an idea and a plan that draw others in. And I believe confidence leads to that.

Anyway, you've already read the billion posts on confidence.

You must feel inadequate in some areas of your life. I mean: deficits that you think make you less socially desirable. Do you fear you look too immature? Too weak? If you keep working out, eventually, you'll recognize a stronger man in the mirror, and your mind will catch up to your body. Just keep going.

I'll bet childhood rejection leads to socially isolating yourself (and a gloomy, reserved, ie: fearful) nature. So address your inadequacies, whether they're really present or not.

Addressing those perceived inadequacies will make you feel complete and adequate, and therefore confident.

Then it will all come together for you.

very good post. You are spot-on reguarding childhood rejection leading to social isolation. (& everythig else) I can speak from experience too.