"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Giving her space.

rhythmic

Senior Don Juan
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Hi SS, it's been a while!

In a great place at the minute - been slaying online game for numbers, dates and what not and am generally spinning the most plates I ever have at once.

There's one girl who I care about more than the others - we've known each other for a few years, we live far apart but I've been flying a lot lately and she lives in the city right near the airport, so we normally meet up. This weekend she was meant to be coming down to visit, but a close family member of hers got in an accident and is in a bad way, so understandable. It's not a flake - she actually counter-offered for me to visit her (she obviously wants to be close to her family) but I have a gig to play, so can't do that.

We normally communicate by text - I work mental changing shift patterns and so does she (nurse) not a fan of it really but it's the most viable way.

Long story short, I'm going to give her some space - I think I've been getting a bit soft with her anyway, not quite losing frame soft but maybe a bit more communication than I'd like. in addition to her having a lot of stuff going on. But do you guys reckon I should shoot her a message saying that I intend on giving her space, or just back off? I know a lot of you on here are great with text communication, so you all sprang to mind.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Soolaimon

Senior Don Juan
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Soft men have already lost the frame.

Powerful men don't get soft.

See the difference?

She asked for space.

Why should you confirm to her what she wants?

Sending her texts is not giving her space. Is it? That is still communicating.

Wanting space means she wants to be away from you.

Don't communicate with her.

This one is a lost cause after you got soft.

The reason she wants space from you.

Start slaying those other women.

Get to it!
 

jimmy18

Senior Don Juan
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rhythmic said:
Hi SS, it's been a while!

In a great place at the minute - been slaying online game for numbers, dates and what not and am generally spinning the most plates I ever have at once.

There's one girl who I care about more than the others - we've known each other for a few years, we live far apart but I've been flying a lot lately and she lives in the city right near the airport, so we normally meet up. This weekend she was meant to be coming down to visit, but a close family member of hers got in an accident and is in a bad way, so understandable. It's not a flake - she actually counter-offered for me to visit her (she obviously wants to be close to her family) but I have a gig to play, so can't do that.

We normally communicate by text - I work mental changing shift patterns and so does she (nurse) not a fan of it really but it's the most viable way.

Long story short, I'm going to give her some space - I think I've been getting a bit soft with her anyway, not quite losing frame soft but maybe a bit more communication than I'd like. in addition to her having a lot of stuff going on. But do you guys reckon I should shoot her a message saying that I intend on giving her space, or just back off? I know a lot of you on here are great with text communication, so you all sprang to mind.
Don't you dare tell her, just do it.

Men communicate with their actions.
 

apprenticedj

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 17, 2013
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Location
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I'm in total agreement. Do not expressly tell her anything, just do it. She'll notice and when she does use the old standby and say you've been busy.

Every relationship needs a reframing occasionally.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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The411

Banned
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Sep 25, 2014
Messages
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Location
Jersey
rhythmic said:
Hi SS, it's been a while!

In a great place at the minute - been slaying online game for numbers, dates and what not and am generally spinning the most plates I ever have at once.

There's one girl who I care about more than the others - we've known each other for a few years, we live far apart but I've been flying a lot lately and she lives in the city right near the airport, so we normally meet up. This weekend she was meant to be coming down to visit, but a close family member of hers got in an accident and is in a bad way, so understandable. It's not a flake - she actually counter-offered for me to visit her (she obviously wants to be close to her family) but I have a gig to play, so can't do that.

We normally communicate by text - I work mental changing shift patterns and so does she (nurse) not a fan of it really but it's the most viable way.

Long story short, I'm going to give her some space - I think I've been getting a bit soft with her anyway, not quite losing frame soft but maybe a bit more communication than I'd like. in addition to her having a lot of stuff going on. But do you guys reckon I should shoot her a message saying that I intend on giving her space, or just back off? I know a lot of you on here are great with text communication, so you all sprang to mind.
I don't see the problem except you are hooked on a "LDR" chick.(Not sure how much you text her and or she replies/texts calls you.)

So you're getting dates, have other chicks. That's good.

If her family member really did have an accident it's not her fault and if she's a good person she should be worried about her family.

Don't back off just yet nor send her a text that you are going to give her space.

Just let her know she can come see you when she's ready and you hope her family member is doing better and leave it at that. (She may just find time in the future to come see you.) *Not sure if this chick has ever come to see you or you are the one the majority of the time going to see her. There has to be some balance.

If you're the one always going to see her just send one last text telling her you hope her family member is doing better and she can come see you when things are better. If she's been coming to see you the majority of times send her the same text but tell her when things get better for her you'll go see her.

Even if she gave you a BS story about the relative she might re-think it and decide you are worth it to her. Don't press her on it. Leave it be.

Till then keep doing your own thing.
 
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