"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

Giving her space.

R

rhythmic

Senior Don Juan
Joined
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Hi SS, it's been a while!

In a great place at the minute - been slaying online game for numbers, dates and what not and am generally spinning the most plates I ever have at once.

There's one girl who I care about more than the others - we've known each other for a few years, we live far apart but I've been flying a lot lately and she lives in the city right near the airport, so we normally meet up. This weekend she was meant to be coming down to visit, but a close family member of hers got in an accident and is in a bad way, so understandable. It's not a flake - she actually counter-offered for me to visit her (she obviously wants to be close to her family) but I have a gig to play, so can't do that.

We normally communicate by text - I work mental changing shift patterns and so does she (nurse) not a fan of it really but it's the most viable way.

Long story short, I'm going to give her some space - I think I've been getting a bit soft with her anyway, not quite losing frame soft but maybe a bit more communication than I'd like. in addition to her having a lot of stuff going on. But do you guys reckon I should shoot her a message saying that I intend on giving her space, or just back off? I know a lot of you on here are great with text communication, so you all sprang to mind.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

S

Soolaimon

Senior Don Juan
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Soft men have already lost the frame.

Powerful men don't get soft.

See the difference?

She asked for space.

Why should you confirm to her what she wants?

Sending her texts is not giving her space. Is it? That is still communicating.

Wanting space means she wants to be away from you.

Don't communicate with her.

This one is a lost cause after you got soft.

The reason she wants space from you.

Start slaying those other women.

Get to it!
 
J

jimmy18

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 2, 2010
Messages
244
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rhythmic said:
Hi SS, it's been a while!

In a great place at the minute - been slaying online game for numbers, dates and what not and am generally spinning the most plates I ever have at once.

There's one girl who I care about more than the others - we've known each other for a few years, we live far apart but I've been flying a lot lately and she lives in the city right near the airport, so we normally meet up. This weekend she was meant to be coming down to visit, but a close family member of hers got in an accident and is in a bad way, so understandable. It's not a flake - she actually counter-offered for me to visit her (she obviously wants to be close to her family) but I have a gig to play, so can't do that.

We normally communicate by text - I work mental changing shift patterns and so does she (nurse) not a fan of it really but it's the most viable way.

Long story short, I'm going to give her some space - I think I've been getting a bit soft with her anyway, not quite losing frame soft but maybe a bit more communication than I'd like. in addition to her having a lot of stuff going on. But do you guys reckon I should shoot her a message saying that I intend on giving her space, or just back off? I know a lot of you on here are great with text communication, so you all sprang to mind.
Click to expand...
Don't you dare tell her, just do it.

Men communicate with their actions.
 
A

apprenticedj

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 17, 2013
Messages
416
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Location
The Golden State, USA
I'm in total agreement. Do not expressly tell her anything, just do it. She'll notice and when she does use the old standby and say you've been busy.

Every relationship needs a reframing occasionally.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

T

The411

Banned
Joined
Sep 25, 2014
Messages
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Location
Jersey
rhythmic said:
Hi SS, it's been a while!

In a great place at the minute - been slaying online game for numbers, dates and what not and am generally spinning the most plates I ever have at once.

There's one girl who I care about more than the others - we've known each other for a few years, we live far apart but I've been flying a lot lately and she lives in the city right near the airport, so we normally meet up. This weekend she was meant to be coming down to visit, but a close family member of hers got in an accident and is in a bad way, so understandable. It's not a flake - she actually counter-offered for me to visit her (she obviously wants to be close to her family) but I have a gig to play, so can't do that.

We normally communicate by text - I work mental changing shift patterns and so does she (nurse) not a fan of it really but it's the most viable way.

Long story short, I'm going to give her some space - I think I've been getting a bit soft with her anyway, not quite losing frame soft but maybe a bit more communication than I'd like. in addition to her having a lot of stuff going on. But do you guys reckon I should shoot her a message saying that I intend on giving her space, or just back off? I know a lot of you on here are great with text communication, so you all sprang to mind.
Click to expand...
I don't see the problem except you are hooked on a "LDR" chick.(Not sure how much you text her and or she replies/texts calls you.)

So you're getting dates, have other chicks. That's good.

If her family member really did have an accident it's not her fault and if she's a good person she should be worried about her family.

Don't back off just yet nor send her a text that you are going to give her space.

Just let her know she can come see you when she's ready and you hope her family member is doing better and leave it at that. (She may just find time in the future to come see you.) *Not sure if this chick has ever come to see you or you are the one the majority of the time going to see her. There has to be some balance.

If you're the one always going to see her just send one last text telling her you hope her family member is doing better and she can come see you when things are better. If she's been coming to see you the majority of times send her the same text but tell her when things get better for her you'll go see her.

Even if she gave you a BS story about the relative she might re-think it and decide you are worth it to her. Don't press her on it. Leave it be.

Till then keep doing your own thing.
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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