Giving a girl "space"

[eaglez1177]

Hey everyone. Im just curious as to when are the best times to give girls "space", or in other words, some alone time when you don't talk to them (mostly because theyre mad or sad). Ive had a gf for 4 and a half months, and I sometimes have trouble deciding if I should call her or just leave her alone when shes like really upset about something or mad about something.

One thing I defintely dont wanna do is talk to a girl when she actually does need some space, cuz then that becomes a pretty big turnoff and makes me seem like an annoying guy whos always trying to fix other peoples problems and sh*t.

Can anyone give me some advice as to when I should lay off on a girl (when shes really emotional) and when I should try talking to her? I always seem to find myself in this pickle of not being able to decide how to handle the situation.

Thanks

 

[playerone]

i would tell her to talk to me about the problem, if she doesn't then we'll talk another time. if she does tell you, listen, then try to talk it back into fun.

 

[brian123]

Well if she is your GF, you have more to stand on as opposed to if she was just a girl you were seeing or just interested in.

If she is mad or upset about something you did (and you know you f'ed up) Id just make it known that you are sorry and then let her do the contacting.

If she is upset about something that doesn't pertain to you, Id just let her know that you are there for her, and if she wants to talk about it, that you are there for her (girls love that stuff).


However, is the drama becomes overbearing, I would move on. Every girl has SOME drama in their lives (they love it) but when it becomes too much it's tome to move on.

 

[bukowski_merit]

^ be very careful with giving a female (girlfriend or not) an open window to lay all her baggage/problems on you. you do not want to be a therapist for 2 reasons:

1) being a therapist and not getting paid for it SUCKS! how many of you truly enjoy hearing people complain about stuff in their life? normally only if you have something similar to complain about, and in that case - you're more concerned about getting your own complaints heard than in listening to theirs. there's nothing worse than a person who complains a lot! and once a woman is comfortable complaining around you - she will continue it FOREVER! =) (forget that dr. phil "you need to be there for her" crap. Instead be the alternative to her problems and the one who makes her forget them without talking about them. be her anti-problem.)

2) listening to a woman complain or tell you what is bothering her about life - can often be anti-sexy... you don't want to be anti-sexy do you? Even if you're dating her, you can end up seeming more like a female friend than a boyfriend.

Like i said, make yourself the alternative to her problems. Being there for her is cool... but be there for her as a source of happiness, sexuality, and even confusion. make her problems appear smaller.

(all of this is assuming that she doesn't have some major health problem, a recent friend/family member passing away, flunking out of school, etc... in that case - you can absolutely be there for her. it's just most of the stuff women will complain to you about - you will find yourself wanting to shoot yourself in the head for listening to)