LastManstanding
Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 13, 2016
- Messages
- 31
- Reaction score
- 40
- Age
- 34
There is an important life concept I want to cover and that is "give and take." Everyone has their own form of give-and-take in friendships and relationships. This can be attention for money, Money for services, love for sex, etc.
In relationships there is a give and take and I want to give you a back story so we can dig deeper.
I met my ex at the beginning of fall semester. She was a sweet girl who treated me like the prize. I didn't ask her to hang out I simply stayed happy and let her come around. She would do whatever I say and I loved it. We weren't dating at the time and her interest level went through the roof. Did I ever ask her to come over? No, she asked. Did I ask her to be respectful? No, she GAVE me all the respect I could want. Did she play games and make it hard for me to lay her? No, she GAVE me an easy path. Life was simple.
Status of relationship
(Me: taker, her: giver)
Happiness level (me:10, her:10)
You all knew there wouldn't be a happy ending. Here is where the turning point started. We got into a small argument about this "give-and-take." She started to argue with me that she wanted me to start "hitting her up and asking her to hang out" and I need to "open up more." She wanted me to "be sweeter."
I started doing all these things. None of it felt natural to me. She lost interest in me. Some of the things that I started to notice.
- no more 1st texts from her anymore
- Texts back would take hours, maybe more
- those sweet texts I miss you _______, were they reciprocated? No, they were ignored or replied with an ungrateful "thanks"
- went from spending 2-3 nights per week to 1 night in the past 2 week (she left in the middle of the night)
Am I stil with the girl? Of course not. She lost interest in me. I got sick of chasing and left her. I was dealing with a low interest female and gave up.
Status of relationship (me:giver, her: taker)
Happiness level (me:0-1, her: 0-1)
Who's the giver this time?
So now the big question is why would she ask me to do things that would ultimately lose her.
The answer: she didn't want those things, she wanted me to stand firm and I didn't.
Sound familiar?
It was a test. And I failed.
If you learned one lesson from this post it's to keep doing what works for you despite the request to change. As a man you should know what makes your woman happy. If a woman tells you what she wants and it's different then what got her in the first place, then it's a TEST.
Why do they do it? Idk, stupidity or reading too much cosmo? Women that you experience this behavior with are typically low quality (she ultimately was), but that is a different story. Thank you all for reading.
In relationships there is a give and take and I want to give you a back story so we can dig deeper.
I met my ex at the beginning of fall semester. She was a sweet girl who treated me like the prize. I didn't ask her to hang out I simply stayed happy and let her come around. She would do whatever I say and I loved it. We weren't dating at the time and her interest level went through the roof. Did I ever ask her to come over? No, she asked. Did I ask her to be respectful? No, she GAVE me all the respect I could want. Did she play games and make it hard for me to lay her? No, she GAVE me an easy path. Life was simple.
Status of relationship
(Me: taker, her: giver)
Happiness level (me:10, her:10)
You all knew there wouldn't be a happy ending. Here is where the turning point started. We got into a small argument about this "give-and-take." She started to argue with me that she wanted me to start "hitting her up and asking her to hang out" and I need to "open up more." She wanted me to "be sweeter."
I started doing all these things. None of it felt natural to me. She lost interest in me. Some of the things that I started to notice.
- no more 1st texts from her anymore
- Texts back would take hours, maybe more
- those sweet texts I miss you _______, were they reciprocated? No, they were ignored or replied with an ungrateful "thanks"
- went from spending 2-3 nights per week to 1 night in the past 2 week (she left in the middle of the night)
Am I stil with the girl? Of course not. She lost interest in me. I got sick of chasing and left her. I was dealing with a low interest female and gave up.
Status of relationship (me:giver, her: taker)
Happiness level (me:0-1, her: 0-1)
Who's the giver this time?
So now the big question is why would she ask me to do things that would ultimately lose her.
The answer: she didn't want those things, she wanted me to stand firm and I didn't.
Sound familiar?
It was a test. And I failed.
If you learned one lesson from this post it's to keep doing what works for you despite the request to change. As a man you should know what makes your woman happy. If a woman tells you what she wants and it's different then what got her in the first place, then it's a TEST.
Why do they do it? Idk, stupidity or reading too much cosmo? Women that you experience this behavior with are typically low quality (she ultimately was), but that is a different story. Thank you all for reading.
