Give up New Years plans for the Chinese Waitress?

[Padajuan]

Here's my main question if you want to skip the update/state of things:

Usually I have plans to go to a local New Year's Eve party at a friends house. This year though, that friend moved away and I've been getting to know a new group who throw BIG house parties (30+ people in a single floor house). The only problem, their big New year's party will be held in Gainsville, which is a 2 hour drive away for me, and I've never been there before.

This party would be my chance to get "in" with that group but I'd rather take my Chinese waitress out for a New year's eve date. The problem, I don't have any clue where to go or what to do and I wouldn't know anyone wherever we went.

They say every time you are out with people is a chance to DELIGHT or DISAPPOINT and I don't want to give her a lame date because I don't know what to do because I can't take her on a 2hr drive on date #2 to be around people I barely know. So I'd have to find some other thing to do locally.

She doesn't know/hasn't asked me what my New Year's plans are but I think she might be expecting me to ask and if I don't, I'm not sure if that would ruin things with us. Am I passing a big opportunity to score points with her (she's more important to me, but I need to grow my social circle too)?

I believe from what I've read/heard I should go to the big party without her because women want you to have your own life and not give up what you want to pursue just for them.

So to give you guys an update:

I got the Chinese waitress I was after to go out with me to a Christmas party the company I work for throws (and when they throw a party they go BIG).

Long story short, she was kind of quiet and wouldn't drink alcohol at first but then she started to warm up to me (and even drank with me a bit). I saw all her needs were met and lead her around even giving her an impromptu tour as we walked around.

She's Chinese and only been here about 2 years. So I'm guessing any slight sign of warmth from her I should multiply about 10 times greater to be the equivalent of a white American girl (I'm white btw) since her culture is more reserved.

It got cold so she wore my jacket and even let me take her picture (made me
redo it a couple times because she didn't like how it turned out).

The end of the date was kind of weird. She didn't want to go back to the party and had me take her home a little early (30 mins before the party was over). I asked her if she wanted to go back or call it a night btw. When I dropped her off at her apartment, she practically jumped out of the car and shut the door real quick with a "Thank you-bye!"

But then as she was walking away she turned around, smiled (a bigger smile than she gave in her pic) and waved at me.

I took that to mean she was afraid of what a white guy would expect on a first date (a kiss and I was going to try for one) and wasn't ready for that yet.

She's been in touch with my via text messages (even getting back to me 20 mins later when I texted her the next day) and e-mail. She didn't respond to my text about going to the movies friday and asking if she wanted to come (but then again this past friday was a PRIME shopping day, my mistake).

And she did apologize to me for texting me back so late on Christmas (she was working at the restaurant that day).

So she seems comfortable with me having her:
-cell phone number
-picture
-home address
-personal e-mail
-work schedule

and being in touch with me.

I'm taking these as good signs.

 

[Metaphysical]

if you got game, you can get laid on new years eve pretty easy

you need to take a look at her. if she is better than average, then spend the night with her.

you also gotta calculate how likely you are to bang her. if she is one of the chineese women that waits for marriage, forget about her.

 

[Padajuan]

I don't have that much game and I'd be happy with a kiss right now. Plus, I personally think she's worth taking it slow with if necessary. I'm picky and I like this one.

Any thoughts on which I should do?

Right now, I'm leaning toward going to the party w/o her just because she hasn't even hinted at wanting me to ask her and it would create for her a little drama. I'm going to text her right when the ball drops so she'll at least know I was thinking about her.

 

[AAAgent]

umm.. im chinese and i specifically dislike most asian girls including chinese. They always play the game and make you jump through hoops and aren't even worth it. Just play it slow with this girl, most likely she's not going anywhere because of the language barrier.( you said she's only been here 2 years right? how bad is her english) A lot of these asian girls even if they are american if they stick with asian people, meaning their friends are mostly asian they seem to a lot of the times be in full control of the relationship. For alot of the asian cultured women with a westerner(not an adopted asian female) the seem to usually become housewife and let the male do everything and spend the money.

That was just a little background, i stay away from most chinese girls is because alot of them tend to cheat or are never satisfied with anything. I don't really find them attractive and usually they have weak personalities allowing guys to come up and hit on them even if they are married.

don't get sucked in yet, just get to know your friends and tell her to have fun on new years. If she insists on you going to see her, see her before or after the party. Asian girls in my experience always play more games, and the more straight forward you are with them, the more they string you along.

 

[Dedication]

Go to the party and meet new people. Do not spend that time with that chinese waitress.

 

[Warrior74]

Yah man. Go to the party. You really have NOTHING invested in this girl. NOTHING. You haven't had sex with her or even kissed her.

Look at what you are doing. You are putting your life on hold for the hope of something with this girl. She is becoming a priority too soon in your life. She needs to be something that you fill in your spare time with. So go to the party, be social, win over the crowd and have a good time and meet some women. Then later next week give her a call and take the chinese chick out for coffee to talk so she can feel more relaxed and you can learn more about her. Meanwhile go out with some of those hot chicks your going to meet NYE and date them too!

No pedestals, More plates.

 

[Padajuan]

Thanks guys! Good advice.

Yeah I think I'm going to that NYE party w/o her (should I let her know I'm going or just not ask her?).

@AAAgent:
Any more tips you can give me about asian girls? I'm all ears.

@Warrior74:
I think I understand the "no pedestals" part, but what does "more plates" mean?

 

[AAAgent]

I have no experience with FOB's from china but from my knowledge they are probably the worst for westerners to engage in a relationship with. Most of them will suck the life and money out of you. Sometimes they get divorced at they marry and reap their benefits, other times they just stay married and cheat on you secretly... asian women are very secretive and put on great facades. I know of many married women who cheat... i grew up in philly chinatown.

From my experience race says alot for asian's though it isn't always true but for the majority it's proved pretty efficient from my deductions.

Most timid
Chinese
Japanese

Most Outgoing
Korean
Japanese

Crazy ***** attitudes
Vietnamese
Chinese
Specially Korean

Cheaters
All except japanese(im sure they do they but don't see it too much since there aren't many around here).

Generally asian girls have this thing where they always think their hot ****, even alot of the ugly ones. You have the nerdy ones, then the egotistical ones. There aren't many inbetween unless their so called whitewashed even then they think their hot**** too because their usually the token asian girl in a white crowd and it makes the white guys go crazy. They always tend to play hard to get and always cancel dates or not return your calls. The best thing to do IMO is just pretend like it never happened. If they arrange and date and don't answer your calls, next time you see them don't bring it up and pretend like it never happened. This gets me a real date normally. If you see gold digger characteristics get the hell away after the first date or as soon as you notice.

In social settings/clubs/bars its probably not too hard to hook up with an asian girl, i would consider it normal(same as every other girl). It when you get out of the social setting that they are very judgmental. Your car, looks, and attitude they will most likely be factoring in on your date more so than non asians. If you can maintain your DJ'ness and hang out through their early flakes their pretty much the same as every other girl. They spoil you and the whole nine yards.

I personally think asian girls are harder to game, they have this thing where they think they're a celebrity and need you to prove your worth to them, but once you ground them and let them know their no different then the fat b!tch next to them, they wise up.

I prefer koreans and japanese women over chinese. Most chinese women are too timid and that leads to weak character allowing for other men like me or better to approach my woman. Being very timid and shy they don't know how to say f!ckoff. korean girls have probably the most b!tchy attitudes i know and also my friend and i named it the korean girl complex. they think their hot **** and it makes the chase great, their crazy in bed and are fiesty and makes them less approachable. Japanese i just heard their very loyal, i don't know. Viet girls are pretty fiesty too but they're too much drama.

Just be yourself while following the DJ guidelines and don't let her games get to you. When she realizes her game doesn't work she'll have no other option but to say yes or stop playing the games.

i'll give a more detailed explanation of the typical asian girl personality in general later.

 

[AAAgent]

Many people think that since they're asian they hang out with asians....that's true to a certain extent. But asian's mostly stick to their specific race. of asians, i've only dated korean and chinese. Korean's don't hang with chinese and vice versa with the few exceptions. Chinese people usually hang with other chinese and sometimes viets since there are alot of mixed chinese/viets. Korean stick to their groups, filipino's stick to their but i think they are more open to outsiders, had alot of growing up in HS and college. To find quality ones not just one's you see randomly you have to go to social places where they hang out. I usually have a close friend of every race since im very open and i choose one who matches the type of girl im looking for then i head to the social setting. slowly make friends and find targets.

c+f type of personality works wonders and so does the typically badboy. The age limit for badboy ends usually around when the girl is looking to settle down and get married probably around 26+. Most are very superficial and always have designer items or fakes. bags/purses/watches/necklaces/ear rings, etc.

Imagine normal girls,they give guys 10 points and you must pass every test to get a point.

With asian girls you only have 8 points and you have to pass all the same test and more.

no car... minus 1
if you car is older than she is minus 2

no fashion sense of some kind minus 1
short minus 1

money +1
nice car +1
c+f attitude +1
good looking and tall +1
any kind of rep where people know you good or bad (as long as its not pathetic) +1

most asian girls won't have a car because its usually for the boy's in the family and the girls come second, so no car = no pickup, which in the end = no pvssy.

In order to have a good relationship with an asian girl if you are planning on having one, you must understand the culture. I fvcking hate it still but you need to understand atleast if your not going to abide by it. Major politeness to elders which will be her parents. If your white they will give u some leighway, they despise black ppl so if your black and your going to date an asian girl, you will probably rarely meet her parents, it's just an asian stereotype which again is stupid. Act as friendly as you want around her parents but never ask them questions about their family unless its about your gf. answer all their questions. They consider anything not related to you, none of you fvcking business and if u ask they consider it rude.

ex. what was HB8 like when she was a kid? (that's okay)
bad ex. What does your family do for a living and when did you come to america? (why does that fvcking concern you, mind your damn business).

got *****ed at before since korean are very cultured and strict. Chinese a little more lenient.

Usually the asian men in society are more work driven and the females are mainly used for sexual tension. The males have some of the dj traits mastered mainly focusing on their career but also lack many others. So knowing this you should know most asian men always put other things before women, whatever they find more important. Schoolwork, games, sports, friends, etc. This gives the not caring attitude and draws them in more but at the same time gives the women the time to cheat since they do not get enough attention.

By being a DJ you are playing the asian man's game but WAY better in the fact that you are actually caring for these women at the same time and offering them attention. Neediness like with any other girl scares them away.

Asian women prefer to be more dominated so if you have a weak personality you probably will never have a chance(they are always dominated normally in asian society). since the men in the society don't normally give a damn about them, and when they do its for sex, these women no how to use sex as a weapon against you since its all they have.

If they are a fob, you will most likely have alot of chances since she will want to practice english with you. There are alot of ways you can use this to your advantage. such as practices sentences like "take off your clothes" but do it jokingly and she will understand and when you say your for real depending on how u have her she might.

If she's an asian american well then you'll just have to find opportunities yourself to hang out with her. find interests and such just like anyone else, just remember they are flaky and will keep trying to filter out the weak until one strong enough to make it through all the challenges shows up. Then you show her your not only strong but stronger then her as well.

and please....please do not abuse these girls physically....

Just because you hear about asians getting beat as kids which is true doesn't mean its ok. they will flip crazy **** on you sometimes.

Padajuan, if you need more information on specific topics just let me know and if i can explain it to you and the people on the forum i will be glad to.

But besides being your normal paris hilton celebrity, they're pretty much the same as any other girl.

 

[Padajuan]

Thanks guys. Yeah I'm all slated to go tonight. Just need to print out my google maps directions.

HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS!

@AAAgent: Wow! Thanks for all the useful info!!

So update:

I went to the restaurant to talk to her. She didn't bring up the date or try to really engage me in conversation besides the usual waitress talk asking what you want.

I showed her a couple funny youtube videos on my gphone (which she stayed for and laughed a little at).

I asked her if she had plans for New Year's. I got the usual "no." She threw the ball back ("what about you?"). I told her I had plans but they were too far to take her to but I'd make it up to her and asked if she had plans on Friday night. She basically told me no she didn't (other than chatting online with friends that night). So I told her I'd take her to a movie...to which she got quiet and turned to the side, avoiding eye contact, but still stayed where she was standing.

She'd done this before back in August (which I knew was a "no").

So I let her go with a "well, if you want to do anything, call or text me. Bye."
And I walked out like a man (no tail between my legs this time!). I didn't act like it phased me.

I don't know what the problem is. She seems to like me well enough (she was the one hitting on me back in June/July), even went to the Christmas party with me.

I seem to be attractive to girls who speak my own language (some of whom I think are cute). I've been getting interest signals from other girls (but either I'm not interested in them or they are "inconvenient" right now (i.e. dance instructors). I don't crap where I eat). Is it a cultural thing and she thinks because I'm white I'm just going to use her? She hasn't seen any of this interest from other girls though because she hasn't been with me outside of the restaurant (and it was mainly guys at the party).

Or is it that I'm putting too much pressure? What I said to her when she agreed to go out last time was, "It's OK to say no. It doesn't have to be anything serious. I just think you should have some fun."

But then I introduced her as "my date" (I was told by a girl I should have just said "friend"). She didn't correct me or flinch though.

She seems to prefer just staying at home, watching tv, and chatting online with her Chinese friends (most of which are likely still in china). Basically that and going to school/work is all she does.

I know the interest signals are low (but maybe it is a cultural thing). I'm not willing to give this up.

I think it might be I'm not a challenge (she knows she could have me). I don't know how to be a challenge when I've already expressed my interest.

What do I do now?

P.S.

I was thinking next time she does that I could say "I know why you don't want to be alone with me. You're afraid you won't be able to control yourself...and you kiss me too much. But don't worry, I'll protect you...from yourself. I won't let you kiss me...even if you give me money!" This should at least get a laugh.

 

[Someone Much cooler]

use what i like to call the "slow press" game her little by little at a time. When you go to eat, and you see her (your going to eat not to see her-shes just a minor benefit) flirt a lil and then make yourself scarce. SPIN OTHER PLATES aka juggle other females.

AAAagent-i read your post. i like it but i dont agree with everything. I'm not asian, im black-but my last girlfriend of 2 years was asain. You know what i see alot-maybe you can place some insight but alot of philipino girls like black guys and white guys. It might be be cause america had military men stationed in their country. what do you think?

 

[Metaphysical]

asian girls are such easy lays it's not even funny

most asian girls in AMERICA try very hard to be "WHITE"

if you're a white dude, no matter what you look like, she will be into you.

i remember when i was in highschool a few years ago, the finest girl in my school was asian but most white guys didn't wanna date her cause their parents wouldnt approve or some bull.

the first white guy who asked her out ended up takin that pvssy and fvking her on the first date, lol. and damn she was so fine.

 

[Metaphysical]

also i got an European buddy of mine who's 24 and he's fat, short and BALD already.

he can't get laid with white girls cause he's considered rock bottom on the looks scale.. but DAMN he has the finest asian women on his arm all year round.

he only dates asian women cause no matter what he looks like, they dig him. it's the easiest pvssy you will ever get, guaranteed.

first date lays are ridiculously easy with asian women, no game necessary.