Give number or ask for hers?

[DocFaustus]

Hello everyone.
Been asking myself lately about this subject. Should one give his number or ask for hers.
Most guys ask for the numbers and this whole community does it, but I came across some arguments saying that one should give the number away, so I'm a bit divided.

The argument is basically that you make her chase you. You say you'll do something and "feel free to join me" and give contact. They say this is only going to work on girls who have a initial spark of interest and that's the point, choose those who choose you, instead of chasing girls that don't relate at all.

The other idea is to drop the mindset of "I gotta make this happen." , let them chase, don't be free for them.

When people say it's empowering them to give the number, I just think that we shouldn't be making so much effort, like shouldn't they be a bit interested? If they aren't bad luck for them. The other thing is, one thing I've experienced is something when you finally text/call after asking for number they might not remember who you were, that's not empowering at all.

I sincerely don't know, it's a thing that one see "in the field" and I don't have enough experience, in the theorical it seem's good, to filter those that won't connect with you. In a sense that you actually don't need them, you have abundance, you only need those that want you, not chasing after them.

What do you more you experienced guys think? Please don't blindly say it doesn't work if you never tried. If you have some experience with situations relating to this feel free to contribute.

 

[Aspiring Don Juan]

I feel like it makes sense, but will mainly work with girls with a high IL off the start. But if she gives you her number that's already a pretty good indicator that she has some interest.

 

[GetBetter]

I haven't read the whole post but from experience I say, never give numbers but take. Do both for best results! Like let her take your number and ask her to give a call so that you can save hers. Sometimes the girls who take numbers just do it to flake later.
I have observed that while I am in field and with girls they really seem to enjoy my company and it looks as if they would even **** me. Once I give them number and don't take theirs, sometimes I do not even get any text from them - lost targets. I have no idea why this happens though. So take their numbers, and just try to meet them. There's no chase really... If you had fun with her she would definitely like to meet you, otherwise not.

Other than that, I am at a point where I am super duper confused about all my beliefs and thoughts, even the readings I read on DJ Bible and everything. I think that if you do not have good amount of self esteem and aren't already very social and comfortable being yourself, the DJ mindset takes a toll and can make you very rigid as you haven't inculcated it yourself, as is happening with me. I am noticing in me that around women I become very different, I want to game every girl and I want validation! I am not sure why but it's probably because I read these things and instead of working my way to actually develop all the things in DJ Bible, I had only theories - Field Experience is a must!

 

[Huffman]

I usually take. But giving is just as good; she will call if interest is high.

If interest was low then taking the number will just lead to her flaking.

 

[GeniuzKhrist]

You taker her number. Thats it. If she says NO....but why don't you give me yours, then you walk away. Old school stuff right here.

 

[GeniuzKhrist]

lol

 

[raider87]

I give her mine. Always

Do you have much success with this?
Might try this out

 

[DocFaustus]

I give her mine. Always.

That guarantees I'm only dealing with highly interested women.

If she's interested, she'll text.

If not, I know she's not interested.

This is my point, I'm not here to impress her, I only want a good time with someone who is also interested, I feel like too many times the only reason to ask is so you have the power.. but in reality why would you care if she's not into you?

 

[DocFaustus]

I personally suggest you never ask for or give a number. Instead put the cart before the horse and invite them to drink with you.

When they agree to meet you, 99% of the time they'll offer their number to you, without your ever having asked for it.

That's also a very good one. I guess the main thing is not to fear the rejection to the full extent. Some people hide behind the numbers they got and won't be able to use, to actually get something going on is the real focus. We should only search for the best, if they don't like you enough, they won't be good enough.

 

[KingBeef]

What I've been doing that has worked for me is rather than asking upfront for the digits is tell her that I would love to get together sometime (or something similar) while pulling out my cell to the new contacts page and have her literally type in her name and the digits.

There's no asking for the number anxiety and you know where she stands. With the girls that have shown interest this has yet to fail...knock on wood.