Give me advice about this girl with ADD

[Lifeforce]

Well.. since I understood I am insane in the head this year with some ADD I understood a lot about myself and how I can improve in certain areas which were locked away before.

The thing is that normal girls don't understand me. I am very impulsive, hyperactive and may seem aloof and arrogant by other people. These are all traits of me as an ADD person, it links back to the hyperactivity. These traits make me attract women easy but I have much trouble with maintaining relationships with "normal" women.

In my class there is a girl who I am pretty convinced she has ADD. She constantly pump her thigh to relieve her hyperactivity and she talks really fast, she is very focused on things, doesn't follow the standard chain of thinking when solving problems, impulsive, etc...

My thinking was if I have ADD then she will have it alot easier to understand me than most other girls which would be really cool. I like her as a person, she is intelligent, smart, seem very sexual on the inside and has a wonderful body. But at the same time she is worked herself up in very high activity it is hard to connect with her on a deep level. For example, I asked her to join me for some studying and she talked really fast with indifferent tone which sounded rejecting even though it probably wasn't. She looks at me alot and she invited me to join her when I was late for class. Furthermore she was getting help from a teacher and when I was about to leave then she abruptly tried to end the teacher from helping her and following me, it was then I saw as a good opportunity to ask about studying together.

Since it is a pretty new area for me I wonder if someone has had any experience of women with ADD who would like to give some advice on the subject. How do I get her to slow down so I can connect with her for example? She is definatly hyperfocused on the studies and when I am hyperfocused I usually miss alot of the things which goes on around me.

/Lifeforce

 

[aftershock]

Advice: Let her go on top and enjoy the ride.

Gode bless crazed hyperactive girls.

 

[Double]

ok man first i have to write down something i forgot telling you in MSN.............


nicotine has a similar effect to ritalin only to a lesser extent.......thats why im so hooked on that stuff even when my willpower is very strong...yeah makes sense


second.....i was already talking about the self identity thing.....one obvious thing i want to add is that living in the present is the reason why even the many compliments dont fully get us out of the feeling worthless from the past. because they only matter for some minutes.....maybe for a day or two if it was a really important thing. then we forget fast about the feeling. but why we not forgetting fast about the tramatic experiences you ask?

because thats how the human brain is wired....avoiding trouble to being able to survive was the most important thing in ancient times....so traumatic experience have the highest priority in the memory that we are reminded constantly to avoid them the next time......well now the problem is that we think so damn much often without being able to control it about the bad experiences.....i mean a normal person would think of it from time to time....but we think of it almost everday.....i mean short sequences of thoughts(around 2seconds) of my oneitis pop in mind a billion times a day....i mean im not focusing on thinking about her...it just pops in for one second while i think about other stuff.......so it is obvious that when we are reminded all the time that we suffer social phobia from it.

i think the only ADHD people who can be happy are those who didnt have traumatic childhood experiences....they have the same problems as we but they think constantly of good things instead of having RUN A TRAUMATIC LOOP ON THE SYSTEM all the time.

i think only the ritalin can help us calm down that ****ing loop and replace it with something better?? hM! when i was being normal today.....i thought i will test how it feels to think about her......and i felt almost nothing....the emotional input seems really capped when being normal.


would have normally wrote a PM but my post office is full and im too lazy now lol.


ok now to the girl thing. i dont know for sure if the girls i talked about to you really have ADHD...i didnt know about it back then. but they were similar to me so.....none of them talked fast and i dont do either normally. why does she has an indifferent tone......this is really untypical for ADHD imo?

what do you mean with getting her to slow down? why do you want her to slow down, i think you want her to be extatic about something other than studying instead.

ummm let me think how i did connect.

thats a really tough question you asking. when she is hyperfocused on the studies you simply cant connect with her. to be perfectly honest....i didnt know of much to talk with all of them.....dunno......it was like i knew them anyway.....and i dont wanted to talk about the usual small talk stuff....because i felt she gets bored by it and i do too. it was more like feeling each others vibe...instead of hearing each others words.

i now know that they connected even more deeply to me than im to them. even though we talked little we knew each other...and it proved right. because later on we talked a bit about our experiences and view of life...and the view of life was really similar. dunno how to explain....it was more a connecting by staring and feeling each other out....and having some fun....and then when one person makes a personal opinion the other one encourage and reinforces that.....and that makes the other person better open up. i mean i dont know about the other two, but two of them probably had social phobia too because they said to me somewhen that what they told me they dont even tell their longyear friends.....and a women not telling their friends about everything?? according to this site a woman like this dont exist/has to be insane =P

with two of them we were more of ****y+funny to feel each other out at the beginning.....well with the one i fvcked it up strangely...but with the other when she opened up i still kept the ****y up a bit(read too much sosuave)....which was stupid looking back. being ****y/funny is the wrong thing when she tries to open up imo...remember when she is like you then she has the social phobia probably too.....but well i think you aint that stupid like me anyway ...instead you can be together c/f towards other people......making fun of someone(who isnt there) together connects too i think...not talking about gossiping about friends.....more like gossiping about turks....or gossiping about another guy who is after the girl and the girl doesnt like him......i mean this is a fun way to find out what each other thinks about the other people....so you can figure out what the other person is like.

bablabla im outta here now

 

[Lifeforce]

Okey, this girl is like really hard to change focus on. I felt we had this kinestic rapport today to some degree and I learnt alot about her. Well, since I am a ADHD to I figured I couldn't ask her right away and there were not a good time either. (a little with social phobia which often connects with ADHD)

Anyway, after school she was with a friend and I thought she would not be alone at any time, but I saw her walking so I picked up the stones (really hard if you think the girl is remotley unique and you have the belief that you areworthless!) and walked to her and said.

(casual but ****ing terrified - at bus station)
Me "Hey"
Her "Hey"
Me "I forget to ask you in the lesson, you like biljard?" (bad translation)
Her "hmm.. yeah"
Me "Cool, you want to tag along some time?"
Her "Sure......... but I can't this weekend (no ****, I can't either!)"
Me "It's cool"
Her "But we could talk about in class?"
Me "Yeah, or you can give me your number"
Her "Yeah..."
(I am looking for stuff to write on but can't find a pen and paper, damn!)
Her "Maybe it's easier if we talk about it on the next lesson"
Me "Yeah you are right... take care"
Her "you too"

At least I don't have to ask her in class next time.


========================

Dude.. I don't think the only people who can be happy are the ones with a bad experience... Sure we are reminded, but I am positive there are ways to avoid feeling attached to it. For example if we can attach positive meaning on a emotional based level of our experiences.

For example, the BT between you and us would never have happened unless we had shared our past. Well.. just saying it won't mean **** but if we get to understand and feel this then I think we can feel better about it.

You talked about the ritalin with me and you said you misread the dosage, it would be cool to hear the experience you got today from it.

Thanks alot for the info dude, the thing about compliments have haunted me, and once I see the reason I no longer recognize it as a problem.

The worthless problem I think is harder to overcome, you can never fully get around it since it doesn't matter how many women fall to ones charm. But I think a good confidence can repair many bridges so the effects are smaller.

Damn... lost my thoughts.. talk to you later man... and kudos for the reply. Yours to aftershock. =D damn nice image of this tasy girl on top.. mm

 

[comic_relief]

I'll get back to this post because I have a bit of useful info. Do you have AIM perhaps?

If so, Halay615

baseball practice

 

[Lifeforce]

No problem dude. =)

I am not saying they are disorders, I think ADHD is pretty amazing to have in certain cases. But if you want to argue about wheter it exist or not try putting yourself in a bed with a hot girl and imagine if you could get mind to drift off and thinking two seconds on a boat motor for example and the sound your heels make when you walk in the corridores. All this unwillingly. The actual brain is different for a person who has ADHD compared to a "normal" one. It's like your brain is bombarded with stuff all the time and the brain is overclocked and going 100% all the time.

It's hard to put into words, but I know I am thinking, feeling and experiencing stuff a little different than other people. The question is not if it exist or not the real question is not to see it as a disorder. It's more like a gift which has to be calibrated to the person having it . I don't like the idea of going on a pill, that would probably kill alot of the benifits.. I only want to have it when I have sex.



And reading that convo now it sounded like ****, but that doesn't reflect how it was a bit. I mean, she shows so much interest at other times, she invites me to join her, we look each other in the eyes alot, she laugh at my jokes and look at me with interest... but at the same time she talks quick and she might sound rejecting.. damn.. this stuff is hard. It will be good to have one of my FBs over tomorrow so I can clear my mind.

 

[Lifeforce]

Originally posted by comic_relief
I'll get back to this post because I have a bit of useful info. Do you have AIM perhaps?

If so, Halay615

baseball practice

No man... don't have it, it's not very popular in sweden to use AIM. Would be cool to get some insights. =)