Girls with boyfriends

[pff]

Hello there,
I don't know how to act around girls that already have boyfriends. I have been in this situation many times, I want them to know me to understand what they are missing, but I don't want to fall into the "friend zone." I avoid making any moves and I'm just waiting till they break up with their boyfriends. I try to hide my feelings and don't give any clues... Is this the right approach? Please give me some advice.

All the best

 

[SpeedRunner]

My advice: Dont mess with girls that have boyfriends. Go for the singles.

 

[Wiesman44]

good advice

 

[Scrumtulescence]

Originally posted by SpeedRunner
My advice: Dont mess with girls that have boyfriends. Go for the singles.

IOW: interact with 1 out of every 500 girls you see.

 

[pff]

My logic is telling me the same, but you know I can't resist it. For instance I fall for a girl and later learn that she already has a boyfriend. It's not that easy to completely forget her and move on... She's not married or something, her relationship will end one day anyway.

 

[Le Parisien]

I feel you bro, I REALLY REALLY do...


I've been in your shoes many times and it's the case just right now...

I don't know if your case is identical, my problem is actually not "friend zone" or "Oneitis" or any thing like that, it's more that the girls like me so much that I always end up getting strung along (at least they try to).
The worst case was one girl that hided the fact that she had a boyfriend so well (for at least many many months) that I only learned that one day previous to my definitive departure from the US.

Even now, I'm stuck with a bunch of girls with boyfriends who like me a lot, but they just try to keep me around as a backup plan. Although I can tell that I have a pretty good position in the lines (so to speak), it's not what I want: ONS might be possible but they are not ready to drop their boyfriends.

What I'm doing is pretty similar to what you are doing: I backed off when I learned the existence of their boyfriends after having showed them how "fascinating" I am.

To be honest, I have no miracle solution to offer. Usually when you do have single prospects at the same time, you just need to keep the taken ones on the afterburner and play along, give more effort and time to the single ones, use the taken ones as ego-boost and backup plans.
But when there are no single ones, things get messy. Either you back off, in which case they might be surprised and on the long run just forget about you; or you can "keep it up" and risk getting played/hurt real bad and waste a lot of time.

Actually relationships do end at certain point, but you need to be there at the right time. Otherwise either you get strung along or you get used as a rebound.


But if you are not looking for serious relationships, FORGET everything I just typed.

 

[Synthesize]

Boyfriends don't mean anything. Most girls have problems with their boyfriends. Play the problems up and move in for the kill. Give them what their boyfriend lacks. Usually their boyfriends are AFCs. If you aren't, you have it made.

 

[Wiesman44]

Thats not true synthesize. A lot of girls just haven't a freaking clue what they want. I lost my last g/f to another dude hitting on her. Was it anything I did ? Nope. It was all her. Granted she had some other problems emotionally, thats not the point. The point is, if your good enough and find the right kind of girl, its not difficult to pry her away from her b/f . I've pretty much been in both shoes, been the di#khead and the one getting screwed. its not fun.

BUt the key is to find the right girl, and have the game. Its VERY possible. But its not something, I'd recommend. Totally not cool to do to another dude. But then again, how many of us have morals anyway.

 

[ScrewIt]

Your post doesnt make sense. first off why would u want a girl feel like she's missing out on you? does it boost your ego knowing that? even if she wanted to 'date' you wihle already having a bf, you thikn you can steal away soemone's gf with the snap of a finger? just go for the single ones.

Besides, most girls with bf's wont keep guys as their friends unless they were sexually interested in them.

I'm a good acquantance to this girl and her bf in my college. i respect them and their relationship, and they to me, me and another friend hung out iwth them a few times in the past. Why would i want her as my friend? i'm not one bit interested in her not even sexually. thus i dont want her as a friend nor do i need to, she feels the same.

 

[ScrewIt]

Originally posted by Wiesman44
Thats not true synthesize. A lot of girls just haven't a freaking clue what they want. I lost my last g/f to another dude hitting on her. Was it anything I did ? Nope. It was all her. Granted she had some other problems emotionally, thats not the point. The point is, if your good enough and find the right kind of girl, its not difficult to pry her away from her b/f . I've pretty much been in both shoes, been the di#khead and the one getting screwed. its not fun.

BUt the key is to find the right girl, and have the game. Its VERY possible. But its not something, I'd recommend. Totally not cool to do to another dude. But then again, how many of us have morals anyway.

sounds to me like she grabbed the next best guy that came along. As some guys do that to, be bf to a girl until he finds someone better. it occurs to me that ppl in these types of relationships dont really care about the other person, yet shows they take what they can get atm.

 

[christz]

Originally posted by Wiesman44
Thats not true synthesize. A lot of girls just haven't a freaking clue what they want. I lost my last g/f to another dude hitting on her. Was it anything I did ? Nope. It was all her. Granted she had some other problems emotionally, thats not the point. The point is, if your good enough and find the right kind of girl, its not difficult to pry her away from her b/f . I've pretty much been in both shoes, been the di#khead and the one getting screwed. its not fun.

BUt the key is to find the right girl, and have the game. Its VERY possible. But its not something, I'd recommend. Totally not cool to do to another dude. But then again, how many of us have morals anyway.

its always best to go with the ones that are single though, because if she broke up with her b/f for you what makes you so special?

granted there are exceptions to the rule.. where the girl breaks up with her b/f for you and you guys go on to live happly ever after BUT those are far and few between.

 

[Le Parisien]

christz:

I agree with you... on the principles.


BUT since most of the time, the good looking ones are always taken, and the hotter the more often they are taken, unless you are always lucky (always being at the right spot at the right time) or you are SUROUNDED by tones of girls on a daily basis, waiting/looking for a SINGLE HB7+ to come along can be very unproductive.

Most of my friends who are with HB7+ girlfriends didn't steal them from other guys, they met them when they just HAPPENED to be single. But for guys who have little luck (those who never win a dime on lotteries ) or those who have very limited contact with women, discarding every girl who's in a relationship might be a little to much...

What do you guys think?

 

[Bonhomme]

Just play it cool.

Just play it cool, go out with others, and if they feel the right vibe they might be interested in you if they break up with their current boyfriend. But don't wait for it, just take things as they come.

I've become involved with some gals who I met when they had boyfriends. In one case, the gal was a bit flirty with me, and I wasn't aware she had a boyfriend until she told me later she did at the time (which was why she didn't give me her # then), and another told me she was attached, so I didn't make any effort to "pick her up."

Yes, the good ones tend to be taken by boyfriends, real or imaginary.

 

[christz]

Originally posted by Le Parisien
christz:

I agree with you... on the principles.


BUT since most of the time, the good looking ones are always taken, and the hotter the more often they are taken, unless you are always lucky (always being at the right spot at the right time) or you are SUROUNDED by tones of girls on a daily basis, waiting/looking for a SINGLE HB7+ to come along can be very unproductive.

Most of my friends who are with HB7+ girlfriends didn't steal them from other guys, they met them when they just HAPPENED to be single. But for guys who have little luck (those who never win a dime on lotteries ) or those who have very limited contact with women, discarding every girl who's in a relationship might be a little to much...

What do you guys think?

actually think about it, i think your logic is a little flawed there.. the REALLY hot HB's are hot because they're dressing and looking hot for a reason.. they're trying to attract attention.

understand the hotter the girl the less likley she is to have a boyfriend and the more girl next doorish the girl, you know those hot girls that don't dress up or wear a lot of makup are usally the ones with boyfriends.

because there is no need for them to look glammed up.

Its like that all the time, the hotter the girl the less likley she is to have a boyfriend and the more girl next door looking the girl. the more chance she IS to have a boyfriend.

That's why i think its easier to nab a HB8 or 9 over say an HB7.5 or HB7

 

[Le Parisien]

Originally posted by christz
actually think about it, i think your logic is a little flawed there.. the REALLY hot HB's are hot because they're dressing and looking hot for a reason.. they're trying to attract attention.

You are absolutely RIGHT!

But wanting attention has nothing to do with being single, they are just hardcore ATTENTION W*ORES!
I don't know where you live, but America is full of those.

The girl next door types might be single or attached, but at least they are not sucking up every drop of your attention like a vampire and stringing you along like there's no tomorrow.

I'm kinda losing the focus of the topic here, by "hot" I didn't mean skimpy dress and heavy make-up, but naturally "good-looking" "beautiful" "attractive"...