"Girls will let you know they're interested"...true?

[Mr. Goods]

This is what I have heard from a few people I know over the years. My dad said this is one of the "secrets" to keep in mind when pursuing girls. While it's straightforward, I'm not convinced. We do our best to not let girls know our interest level in them. Girls sometimes play hard to get with guys.

Lately though, I realized this may have some merit. I have briefly dated two girls in the past couple of months. In retrospect, one reason I feel things didn't continue was because their interest levels were never really high. I always initiated the communication, whether it was a text, a phone call, or even smalltalk. I initiated all the kino and did not receive as much in return. The bottom line was that I needed to do something if I wanted a response from them. If I did nothing, they would vanish.

The guy starts most things with dating - asking out, paying for the date, etc. - and that's fine. It is what's expected of us. However, does a girl need to initiate at least some of the communication if she is interested?

 

[YT827]

It's true. If a girl never calls you to say "hey" or plan to hangout, she's not interested. It should happen at the minimum of two "good" dates.

 

[Dubh]

now a days if you just iso and kino a girl all by herself there you will save alot of money and time meaning you go over her house or she can come over yours for your date

 

[Ease]

If you mean before you ask her out, she will let you know by dropping hints about 'when she's free..' or how 'she would love to see that movie..'

If you mean after you've asked her out, you need to keep a tight aloof game to stay in demand and in control. If you're initiating all the time while she plays hard to get, you're probably doing it wrong.

 

[Maxtro]

Based on my experiences I'd say no. Even if she drops hints there is still a chance you'll miss them.

I'd suggest keep trying till she tells you not to.

In other words, "Make the ho say no."

 

[Mr. Goods]

In the cases I've noticed this with, it is between the time I meet her up through after the first date.

Girl 1: She responded every time I initiated, but I always was the initiator. She was nice and appeared to be a little bit interested based on the positive responses. But she never did any initiating. Thus, she couldn't have been all that interested. We went on a couple of dates, but then things fizzled out; there was no spark.

Girl 2: I was convinced she was into me. Laughed at everything I said. Always responded in a very positive way. Appeared to be excited about the date. But she never did any initiating. Whether it was phone calls/texts/IM's, I always started it. The first date did go well, but then her lower interest came though when we couldn't arrange a second date.

I hope this provides a clearer picture of what I am referring to. In my opinion (from what I've seen with my friend's gf's), the girl does call/text/IM to begin the interaction at least some of the time. I picture it this way: if I was to go no contact with them, would they try to initiate? Girl 1 AND Girl 2 apparently would not. But the more I think of this, the interested girls likely will.

 

[Mr. Goods]

Any other thoughts? While I am not pursuing any one particular girl right now, this will be good to know in the future.

 

[OFWHAP]

Most girls I have either dated or hooked up with made it known they were interested. Usually they will not come outright and announce it to the world, but they'll let you know. She'll let you know through body language, text messaging, she'll always happen to be at the same places you are, or her friends will harass you about her.

 

[nismo-4]

Nothing in life is etched in stone.

 

[squirrels]

Example - I'm in the elevator the other day at work and 3 or 4 other people get on, one of them being this cute little thing who works in the admin office. Other people get off on other floors...sooner or later it's just me and her. As soon as the doors close, she sighs. I recognize it instantly as an invitation to conversation.

You've seen these goofy high-school MTV dramas...you know how women are. They're stricken with a guy, but he "doesn't know I exist" and so she tries to think of subtle ways of catching his attention.

That's how women let you know they're interested. SUBTLY.

There's a reason for that...they're still screening you, even when they're pursuing you. If she just said, "I like you...here's my number, ask me out", she wouldn't be able to assess anything about your confidence or leadership potential. Plus, it puts her in the position of being the "dominant party", something that women don't inherently find attractive.

So what they do is "make themselves available". They will give you excuses to start conversations with them or to ask them out, kiss them, touch them, etc. They open the door for you. YOU have to walk through it.

A chump will make every excuse possible not to walk through the door, even to the point of convincing himself that it's not open at all.

Some girls will give you obvious openings.

Others will be not-so-obvious. For example, if you're at the club and you see a girl, you move to the other side of the club, and you see the SAME GIRL again. Might be just chance. But it might NOT.

Some are so "tight" that they won't give you ANY obvious sign besides not rejecting your advances.

Here's a tip: If you are questioning whether something is a "sign of interest", most people would err on the side of caution and assume that it is NOT, that it was just a "coincidence". Instead, try taking the bold route. Assume that it IS a sign of interest and leave it up to HER to shut you down if it is not.

The young romance game favors the bold.

 

[Willis]

yep...chicks will let u know if they want you...but i have to remember is to pick up there signals..
.ive had some blatant signs and didnt pick up on them due to being too in my head and not in the moment ...or thinking "nah she didnt give me the eye". for me if i could pick up the signals when they show them and not second guess myself i would be ok...
..