"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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girl's who you havent seen for a while

randalll

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saying you knew a girl last year, when you were a full on afc. you liked her, of course, but she never felt that way about you because you were a wimp

well if you see her several months or years down the line and you're a new man. will she see you in a different light and become attracted to you.. or will she always think of you as a friend/nice guy etc?

was just wondering

post your ideas

randall
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Rounder

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randalll said:
will she see you in a different light and become attracted to you.. or will she always think of you as a friend/nice guy etc?
I think this depends on how you meet, your mood, how you handle the conversation, etc.

If your body language screams "I'm insecure" you have no chance.

If you have a positive attitude, make good conversation, keep things moving, are interesting, have good body language, make lots of eye contact, keep it short - then yeah, I think her opinion can change. Be interesting and scarce.
 

MisterMcGee

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Depends how exposed she was to you back when you were an afc. The girl I'm into didn't see me often when I was an AFC and while I may have made a weak first impression back then, she definitely sees me differently now that I'm way improved now (I met her in early august).
 

lansing

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Yes, she can change her opinion of you... it just happened to me and its awesome. I was super AFC to a girl about 5 years ago (Perhaps being apart this long helped, just started talking to her again in September) and we became really good friends, I ended up asking her out and she said we should just be friends. But now, I may not be the best DJ ever, but she does see me differently. I know she is interested in me, and is really responsive to my changes and how I act towards her.

Everyone will see you differently when you change, its just what happens. But NEVER, EVER show her a glimpse into your past AFCness and she will forget all about it.
 

Igetit!

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This is actually a good question. I think that if you were an afc when you first met a girl,then you don't see her for a long period of time,and when you do see her again if you're no longer an afc,then yeah,I think she could be attracted to you. However,I think there are a couple of conditions that have to be met first:

First of all,I think it depends on how long the two of you knew each other while you were an afc. If it was for a long time,like maybe 3,4,or 5 years,then it would be harder to do.

Another thing is this:You would have to go a long,and I mean a looong time of no contact/not seeing her. And I mean like you moving to the other side of the country so there is absolutely ZERO percent chance of the two of you bumping into each other.but cause if you do,it starts all over again. This is basically the same situation as being in the friendzone. It's identical. If she met you as an afc or you fell into the friendzone with her,the process of trying to undo the damage is possible,but it requires so much time,so much effort and energy,that it's just not worth it. It'd be easier just to move on and meet someone else. I mean,who wants to put at a minimum, 2 to 3 years of no contact and avoiding a woman,simply just to have a "chance" at dating her?

Even if you do put in the time and effort,and you are able to change the way she sees you,all that does is put you at square one. You still have to generate attraction in her,build comfort,avoid the friendzone trap,avoid activating her ASD/anti sl*t defense,avoid or minimize the chance of flaking,and so on. Nobody wants to go through all that. I know I don't.

So yeah,I do believe it's possible to make a woman attracted to you if you were an afc at the beginning,then after some time has passed,you meet her again no longer being a wimp. Buit it's a heck of a lot of work.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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MisterMcGee

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Well 5 years will do that LOL. This girl flaked on me and saw me a certain way for a few weeks, but then I started 'improving' quickly and I saw the results in her behaviour around me. It's about a month and a half or two months since this change began and it's going well
 
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