"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Girls w/ Boyfriends?

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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mrRuckus

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Jariel said:
In my experience, this is all very true! Many of my girlfriends and flings during the past year have been in relationships when we met. I don't see myself as "stealing" them; women have a free will and I was just a better option. Do I sympathise with their boyfriends? Hell no! It's not my fault they let themselves go and lost their appeal or that they took their girls for granted. Besides, if their girl is not happy, it's not fair on the guy either.

As a rule, I won't get involved with my friends' girlfriends and I generally try to avoid any intimacy with women while they're still in a relationship, as I believe she at least owes him the respect of breaking it off. But if a girl is willing to make that sacrifice for me, then it's her choice!

So along the same logic...

Oh it's okay I rob you.. it's not my fault you aren't carrying a gun today! Not my fault you're smaller than I! It's not like you're MY friend so it's okay.

It's okay that i embezzle/steal from your grandma... it's not my fault you're not watching out for her. Not my fault she's stupid! It's not like she's MY grandma.

The U.S. never should have been in WWII... not our fault the jews didn't fight back en masse! Not our fault Europe didn't fight back sooner!

You just want to justify what you do in your own mind to make what you want to do okay. Isn't that what women do? You're fcuking with your fellow man. Maybe his life isn't so peachy at the moment and he hasn't been on top of his game and his girl is restless... and would have been fine if some jerk didn't show up and manipulate the girl. Maybe the suicidal guy wouldn't have jumped at the most precarious time of his life if the guy beside him wasn't whispering "do it" in his ear and his kids wouldn't be fatherless.

You're screwing with peoples' lives and you don't give a damn. I suppose it's also ok to leave food in your yard and call to his dog and take him. I mean if the neighbor would feed the dog more it wouldn't come to your yard. It was the dog's decision to come to you afterall. It's the dog's fault you took him.
 

donpepot

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Jariel said:
As I've written in another thread recently, it's never a good idea to get involved with a woman in a relationship. Even if she leaves him, there are a lot of emotional ties to break before she can move on.

However, it's not impossible as I've done it many times. Just spend time with her as a friend, flirt with her, have fun while you're together and show her a better time than her boyfriend can show her. Also, pay her a few genuine compliments once in a while. Above all, be laidback and PATIENT, and act like you are keeping her in the friendzone.
i agree..that is the weakest point in this all don juan thing..its the kryptonite.. its too damn risky...
we can manage to take home some models,class a girls but girls with bf's and girls just recent broke up status..is close to scuicidal...
its possible but its suicidal
 

aftershock

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mrRuckus said:
So along the same logic...

Oh it's okay I rob you.. it's not my fault you aren't carrying a gun today! Not my fault you're smaller than I! It's not like you're MY friend so it's okay.

It's okay that i embezzle/steal from your grandma... it's not my fault you're not watching out for her. Not my fault she's stupid! It's not like she's MY grandma.

The U.S. never should have been in WWII... not our fault the jews didn't fight back en masse! Not our fault Europe didn't fight back sooner!

You just want to justify what you do in your own mind to make what you want to do okay. Isn't that what women do? You're fcuking with your fellow man. Maybe his life isn't so peachy at the moment and he hasn't been on top of his game and his girl is restless... and would have been fine if some jerk didn't show up and manipulate the girl. Maybe the suicidal guy wouldn't have jumped at the most precarious time of his life if the guy beside him wasn't whispering "do it" in his ear and his kids wouldn't be fatherless.

You're screwing with peoples' lives and you don't give a damn. I suppose it's also ok to leave food in your yard and call to his dog and take him. I mean if the neighbor would feed the dog more it wouldn't come to your yard. It was the dog's decision to come to you afterall. It's the dog's fault you took him.
No, you're logic is out. All those things are illegal for a start.

I prefer to compare it to a large supermarket opening next to a corner shop.

I think that we need to stop arguing about morals, they're not going to be changed!
 

KingBeef

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rocketman1 said:
Hey, if you really like a girl, go after her! Who cares if she has a boyfriend, she is not married! Some guys think if a girl has a boyfriend, it's the same as if she was married! She is only in a commited relationship if she is married! If she has a boyfriend she has not taken any wedding vows. I heard a statistic that most women who have boyfriends are not really into the guy that much. They just want someone to go out with on the weekends. I also heard that most women won't break up with their boyfriends till somebody else better comes along. They string their boyfriends along, till they meet a guy they really like, that guy they really like, maybe you!

- Paul

I COULDN'T AGREE WITH YOU MORE!!!!

- Kingbeef
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Jariel

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mrRuckus said:
You just want to justify what you do in your own mind to make what you want to do okay. Isn't that what women do? You're fcuking with your fellow man. Maybe his life isn't so peachy at the moment and he hasn't been on top of his game and his girl is restless... and would have been fine if some jerk didn't show up and manipulate the girl.
Maybe I am trying to justify myself, but the most common advice given to guys here is: if you're not happy with a girl or she shows disrespect, then move on. I believe this is just as applicable to women and they too should be encouraged to move on in these circumstances.

I also understand that if I let myself go, disrespect my girlfriend or start taking her for granted, then I deserve to lose her. I can only imagine how bad it must be to feel trapped in a relationship with someone you are not attracted to and to feel compelled to have sex with them.

In my opinion a relationship is a choice. You should only stay with someone because you want to, not because you feel obliged to.
 
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