"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Girls that talk but do not ask you about yourself

pyros

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What do you think when you're talking/dealing with a girl that do not ask you any questions ABOUT YOU?

I mean, you're talking, you ask her some questions about silly stuff, you ask her some questions about herself...she answers, she comments on what you say, converstaion flows but she is just not asking you anything about yourself like: what do you do for a living, what sweets you like, do you go to clubs, do you have any brothers, etc

You know what I mean?

I say this because I've meet and I keep meeting some girls that do this. Some are maybe just female 'friends' but the relationship we two have is based on you kind of getting to know her while talking about other stuff (because I get tired of talking about the weather), and she answering, talking as well, but not getting to know you in a bit of a personal level. I have one or two female frinds that do this.
Everytime we meet, we talk about stuff, then I ask her how her job is going...we talk more, I ask her what she's up to on holidays...she answers...I ask her about her ..ex boyfriend, we keep talking but she DOES NOT ASK ME ANYTHING remotely personal, or almost; on some occasions she might, but it is not common, I could say that 8/10 times we talk she does not ask me personal questions, and everything is just about her/them.


For example, I met a girl some time ago. We talked a few times until we went on a date. At the very begining she asked me my name, where I was from and some minor things.
We were having fun, I was getting to know her..., talked, laughed, kinoed, etc etc. but same pattern: during two hours I asked her many questions, from personal to silly stuff, and SHE DID NOT ASK ME ONE SINGLE PERSONAL QUESTIONS ABOUT ME.
In order to let her get to know me, I sometimes introduced some personal data about myself, for example, she was talking about some video games she likes, I was asking about it blah blah, so I also commented which ones I liked, but she did not ask, not this, anything.
In the end we made out, and had fun for a while, but you get my point right?

Another example. I met a girl in a club. I asked her her name, and what she does etc, she asked me the same, but when we meet for the first date, I asked her several questions about herself, but she did not ask me a ****ing single personal question about me. In the end we also had some fun for some weeks and nogthing else, but...Im getting kind of annoyed/mad because of JUST TALKING ABOUT THEM. It is as if they liked to be in a show where you interview her and talk about HER.

I opened another thread about this because I've met a girl I like. We've talked for a bit a few times. Last night we texted, I started the texting, and in the end, I've asked her so far in three interactions:
whats her name
what does she study
whats her number
what has she been doing during the week
when she started to dance salsa
if she gets mad easy (joke)
why she doesnt like her studies
and some other minor stuff

she has asked me so far:
my name
how much time Ive danced salsa

Last time she told me many things about herself but she did not ask me a ****.

WTF?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Buck83

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okyoureabeast said:
This is ideal. I like girls who do this. People love talking about themselves. Use this to your advantage.
So true!
She's saving you a lot of steps/work/time. Just be a good listener and tell us where it got you :)
 

pyros

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I think you're not getting me right.
I do not really like to just talk about HER all the ****ing time.

And sometimes when a girl does this from the outset Im asking if you think she's interested or not interested.
I'd say NOT interested if she's not asking me anything personal but if she's giving me information, and the conversation can flow this way...Im not sure what to think.
 

Fly By Night

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It's probably better that you only talk about her:

Anti-Dump said:
The fact is, women are ruthless with info they get with you and absolutely cannot be 'objective'.
For the first month.

The fact is she is going to misinterpret what you say and form bad conclusions about personal things you tell her.

Go on a first date with a woman and tell her you were looking at a book about the Satanic Church and were just curious about it.
She is not going to see you were just curious about it.

Everything you say after that will be DISTORTED in her mind.
The longer you go with a woman, the more acceptable the information.

You don't sit there stone faced.
You talk about HER.
You shouldn't be 'talking' (getting personal) for the first couple of dates. See if she is ready on time. She if she is eager for the dates. See if she likes your date ideas FIRST.

Maybe she likes another guy better. Let her go to him. But if she sticks around with you being tight lipped, then you know you have a winner.

Information, in the beginning, turns a woman OFF. Action dates, swimming, bowling, etc. turn her on.
If a woman talks about herself a lot, it normally means she is trying to validate herself.
 

pyros

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it seems counterintuitive Fly By Night.

Some ppl say if she just does not ask you personal stuff, or she just doesnt ask you anything in general but she talks about herself because you're asking, it means she has no interest.

However I see your point, and I think:
why would talk SO much about her stuff if she's not interested? if she was not interested she may just give you short replies like:
yes
no
maybe
I dont know

But she's giving you a lot of information about herself...but I also think that she may just be acting polite or friendly?
I HAVE A MESS NOW!! GODDAMMIT
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Fly By Night

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If you asked her out on a "date", then she should know that you are SOMEWHAT interested in her. As far as the conversation, you are in a position of power to find out who she is, so find out if she is your type, not to prove that you are her type.

Is she religious?
Is she a sexually healthy?
Is she open minded?
Does she have a sense of humor?
Does she enjoy spending time with you?

This is to see if this girl fits what you are looking for, all your job is is moving the interaction along (which is another topic)... If she is interested enough to go out on a date with you, it's proven she has SOME interest in you. Don't try to brag about yourself and risk losing that interest. The main reason we hammer the importance of action dates is to prevent you from releasing too much information about yourself too early.

P.S. I'm not saying that you don't have the right to not like girl who talks about herself, I'm just saying that it is a good sign that she is not trying to pick at your background and see if you match up with her expectations, however high they may be.
 
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