"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Girls That Save Your Number For Years, Then Contact You...

KingofHearts

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How many of you get tracked down by girls years later?

I would think if its some girl that you saw only a month ago, then maybe they just went thru the phone lineup and are back to the top of the list. But a girl that's kept your number for years?
I do have to say that most of these girls and I did have a good connection at the time. Some of them I didn't even date, but most of them were plates at some point. Hung out for a while. And just drifted apart. Sometimes I nexted them. Many times I have to ask who they are because I deleted their number.

Its just weird to me because I don't keep anyone's number if I don't currently hang out with them. I do keep business contacts for a longer time, but not girls I've dated. And I don't really see guys chasing me down years later, or if they do, their intentions are clear as day. I will say there are a handful of girls that I rejected and they are contacting me again after 2-3 years. But they make it obvious that they're making another try at going out with me. Other girls are not so transparent. What's a girl's motives for wanting to catch up?

Today I had girl contact me after 5 years of not seeing each other. She was a classmate in college, then we hung out a few times after she graduated. Another girl I knew from high school, then we hung out a lot the next year or two. But that's still at least 4-5 years of no contact. She did text me one time a couple years ago, but I was married at the time and ignored it.

Did I really leave a mark on these girls or is this pretty common for people in their 20's?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Mr. Goods

Don Juan
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KingofHearts said:
How many of you get tracked down by girls years later?

I would think if its some girl that you saw only a month ago, then maybe they just went thru the phone lineup and are back to the top of the list. But a girl that's kept your number for years?
I do have to say that most of these girls and I did have a good connection at the time. Some of them I didn't even date, but most of them were plates at some point. Hung out for a while. And just drifted apart. Sometimes I nexted them. Many times I have to ask who they are because I deleted their number.

Its just weird to me because I don't keep anyone's number if I don't currently hang out with them. I do keep business contacts for a longer time, but not girls I've dated. And I don't really see guys chasing me down years later, or if they do, their intentions are clear as day. I will say there are a handful of girls that I rejected and they are contacting me again after 2-3 years. But they make it obvious that they're making another try at going out with me. Other girls are not so transparent. What's a girl's motives for wanting to catch up?

Today I had girl contact me after 5 years of not seeing each other. She was a classmate in college, then we hung out a few times after she graduated. Another girl I knew from high school, then we hung out a lot the next year or two. But that's still at least 4-5 years of no contact. She did text me one time a couple years ago, but I was married at the time and ignored it.

Did I really leave a mark on these girls or is this pretty common for people in their 20's?
This has happened with me before, except that it was more "months," not really years. What I've learned, and what some here on the board have agreed with, is that these girls are bored, or their "Plan A" guy didn't work out - making you the backup. This isn't always the case, but a girl contacting you out of the blue like this suggests that their options are dry and they are trying to kickstart something from awhile back.

This isn't always the case, but it seems to be that way more often than not. If it were me, I'd either let it go (if I just didn't care anymore) or I'd maintain the contact a little bit - short notes/texts, keep phone calls really short, etc. Most importantly, do not go through great lengths to meet with these girls, make them come to you (or atleast something that shows they are actually interested and not just yanking your chain).
 

PapiChulo

Master Don Juan
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Canada, eh?
Thats weird. Even a year is a HUGE amount of time. People change and grow over time, especially at that age. I dont even contact my relatives anymore who havent been in touch for more than 2 years.
 

KingofHearts

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PapiChulo said:
Thats weird. Even a year is a HUGE amount of time. People change and grow over time, especially at that age. I dont even contact my relatives anymore who havent been in touch for more than 2 years.
Yeah see that's I was thinking. i don't really have any family that I call on the phone besides immediate family. But I can't remember the last time I contacted an old friend unless it was for work or something.
 

PapiChulo

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Sometimes they wonder what could have happened making them contact you after all this time, especially if somebody did mention about you and about your availability.

Some women are just plain dumb and reserve the right to walk into your life at any point.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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KingofHearts

Don Juan
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Mr. Goods said:
This has happened with me before, except that it was more "months," not really years. What I've learned, and what some here on the board have agreed with, is that these girls are bored, or their "Plan A" guy didn't work out - making you the backup. This isn't always the case, but a girl contacting you out of the blue like this suggests that their options are dry and they are trying to kickstart something from awhile back.

This isn't always the case, but it seems to be that way more often than not. If it were me, I'd either let it go (if I just didn't care anymore) or I'd maintain the contact a little bit - short notes/texts, keep phone calls really short, etc. Most importantly, do not go through great lengths to meet with these girls, make them come to you (or atleast something that shows they are actually interested and not just yanking your chain).
Good advice.

The girl that texted me today - turns out she has a bf and they're buying a house together! If I'm in a situation like that, last thing I'm thinking about is some chick from college. What could her MO possibly be?

I will say, I still find it encouraging when people from my past come back and remember some vivid details about me, its like I really meant something to them. It makes me want to make more connections because I realize that its not a waste of time after all.
 
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