-Zero_h0uR-
Senior Don Juan
I was reading a Maxim the other day, mostly because it was there in the bathroom, and so was I... but I digress. There was an article in there where they interviewed girls and 95% of it was completely insubstantial, until I reach one specific quote.
"If I really like a guy, I hold out longer for sex so he'll respect me more."
I couldn't stand reading that and not venting about it. I've heard this rhetoric before. I live next door to three girls. We live in a duplex, and we're generally pretty close as far as being friends goes. All three of them have a similar feeling. Two agree that they wait longer to have sex with a guy they really like. The third has only had sex with one guy before, but she equates the same for kissing. According to her, "If I kiss you early on in knowing you, you'll never have a chance with me, because that means I dont' like you."
This summer, I met a girl with exactly the same M.O. as these girls. This, from my knowledge of women thus far, is extremely common. I played both sides of this knowledge with two different women over the summer.
Girl 1: I worked with her for about a year. I always wanted to make a move on her, but I thought that it would be a bad idea seeing as we worked together. I was my usual ****y+funny self. She was in to me, but like I said... Work relationships kinda scare me. Too much can go wrong. The whole time I worked with her, the other girls I worked with kept hinting at the fact that I should ask her out. Regardless, I got a new job recently (my self improvement is skyrocketing, but that's for a different post), and after I quit, I got a call from her. She wanted to hang out. Turns out she's liked me ever since we started working together. It took an entire summer of dating and hanging out and the like to get into her pants. I kinda blew this one, because after I got what I was after, she wanted to know where we stood. I told her, honestly, that I didn't want a relationship, but that she was cool to hang out with. I should have told her from the beginning, but I messed up. I'm sure she felt used, and I really haven't talked to her since. I think she's dating someone now.
Before you guys get mad at me, I didnt' spend the whole summer working on just this girl.
Girl 2: I met her through a friend of a friend. The first night we met, I was very casual about meeting her, even though she was gorgeous. I didn't fawn all over her. Hell, I hardly talked to her, except for when she came back up to me (possibly confused that I wasn't all over her, so she had to see how I dared to not hit on her), and started asking me questions. I got her number, and that was the end of that. The next time we met, I walked her home, and kissed her once I got her to her apartment, then I left. She called me to see what I was up to a couple of days later, and I told her that I was going to a bar to see a band. Lo and behold, she showed up to see me. After a night of flirting, brought her back to my house. We're sitting down there with a ton of people and she says, "Can I see your room?" Once there, she told me she's extremely intrigued by me, because she can't figure me out. My response? "I know. (with a HUGE grin on my face)" We talked a little, and I told her how I wasn't ready for a relationship, and I was really just looking for some fun. We had sex that night. Next morning, I drove her home. Called her a few days later, because the way I understood it, she knew that I wanted to have no strings sex, and she had agreed by having sex with me. I figured that we'd have a nice, fun, sex only kinda relationship.
We went out to a bar, hung out all night, she came back to my place. We're making out, undressing, getting to the good stuff, and right when I make a move to go down on her, she says, "Stop, we can't." I'm confused as all hell, so I ask, "What?" She said to me, "I'm not yours." She decided this time, she didn't want to have sex, because we weren't together. I was flabberghasted, but went to bed, and let her walk home in the morning while I got ready for work. I guess she felt that I wouldn't respect her if we had sex again. I chalked up my loss to the fact that she was really drunk. I figured I'd give it a try one more time another night, called her, went out, and the night ended in the same result. I didn't talk to her for a week or so, then saw her randomly out in a bar on a night when I was going to be playing on stage. I was with my roomates and my neighbors, so after I said hi to girl 2, I continued my conversation with my friends. I ignored the other girl. Later that night, I get a text message, "You are an *******, don't ever talk to me again."
Here, this girl gave me what I was after, then decided she was falling for me, and couldn't go for the no strings stuff anymore. Now, before you say anything about these two situations, let me tell you that I know for a fact that Girl 1 has hooked up with guys she had recently met. Girl 2 is a bible beater. She quite possibly was a virgin, although I'm pretty sure she had sex with her last boyfriend before me. The guy before that? She broke up with him because, God told her to. Girl 2 wanted me that night because I was different than every other guy she'd ever met. I was in control of myself, I wasn't drooling all over her, and I treated her like I treated any of my friends that night. She knew right away that she would have sex with me. Keeping girls off of pedestals is so key. It's so important to keep her on the same level playing field, or they'll just use you as a stepstool.
I didn't proofread this, so I hope it has some continuity. If not, then I guess the moral of this post is if you're looking for a one night stand, remember that you're better off not having the girl fall in love with you. Be interesting, be smooth, be funny, but don't try to be some chivalrous knight in shining armor. You'll end up working much harder to get the same end. I may have handled the end of these two relationships badly, but it worked out great for me. I had a lot of fun for a few nights, and I'm still single, which was my goal, afterall.
Another quick thing. Don't let yourself drunk dial. It's the end of you, seriously. We've all done it at least once. Send a text message cause you're drunk and horny... make a phone call for the same reasons. That's a sure-fire way to ruin your chances with a girl. I watched two of my three roomates destroy any and all hope at getting laid because of that.
I hope this post makes sense, and someone can walk away with some more knowledge from it.
- Zero
"If I really like a guy, I hold out longer for sex so he'll respect me more."
I couldn't stand reading that and not venting about it. I've heard this rhetoric before. I live next door to three girls. We live in a duplex, and we're generally pretty close as far as being friends goes. All three of them have a similar feeling. Two agree that they wait longer to have sex with a guy they really like. The third has only had sex with one guy before, but she equates the same for kissing. According to her, "If I kiss you early on in knowing you, you'll never have a chance with me, because that means I dont' like you."
This summer, I met a girl with exactly the same M.O. as these girls. This, from my knowledge of women thus far, is extremely common. I played both sides of this knowledge with two different women over the summer.
Girl 1: I worked with her for about a year. I always wanted to make a move on her, but I thought that it would be a bad idea seeing as we worked together. I was my usual ****y+funny self. She was in to me, but like I said... Work relationships kinda scare me. Too much can go wrong. The whole time I worked with her, the other girls I worked with kept hinting at the fact that I should ask her out. Regardless, I got a new job recently (my self improvement is skyrocketing, but that's for a different post), and after I quit, I got a call from her. She wanted to hang out. Turns out she's liked me ever since we started working together. It took an entire summer of dating and hanging out and the like to get into her pants. I kinda blew this one, because after I got what I was after, she wanted to know where we stood. I told her, honestly, that I didn't want a relationship, but that she was cool to hang out with. I should have told her from the beginning, but I messed up. I'm sure she felt used, and I really haven't talked to her since. I think she's dating someone now.
Before you guys get mad at me, I didnt' spend the whole summer working on just this girl.
Girl 2: I met her through a friend of a friend. The first night we met, I was very casual about meeting her, even though she was gorgeous. I didn't fawn all over her. Hell, I hardly talked to her, except for when she came back up to me (possibly confused that I wasn't all over her, so she had to see how I dared to not hit on her), and started asking me questions. I got her number, and that was the end of that. The next time we met, I walked her home, and kissed her once I got her to her apartment, then I left. She called me to see what I was up to a couple of days later, and I told her that I was going to a bar to see a band. Lo and behold, she showed up to see me. After a night of flirting, brought her back to my house. We're sitting down there with a ton of people and she says, "Can I see your room?" Once there, she told me she's extremely intrigued by me, because she can't figure me out. My response? "I know. (with a HUGE grin on my face)" We talked a little, and I told her how I wasn't ready for a relationship, and I was really just looking for some fun. We had sex that night. Next morning, I drove her home. Called her a few days later, because the way I understood it, she knew that I wanted to have no strings sex, and she had agreed by having sex with me. I figured that we'd have a nice, fun, sex only kinda relationship.
We went out to a bar, hung out all night, she came back to my place. We're making out, undressing, getting to the good stuff, and right when I make a move to go down on her, she says, "Stop, we can't." I'm confused as all hell, so I ask, "What?" She said to me, "I'm not yours." She decided this time, she didn't want to have sex, because we weren't together. I was flabberghasted, but went to bed, and let her walk home in the morning while I got ready for work. I guess she felt that I wouldn't respect her if we had sex again. I chalked up my loss to the fact that she was really drunk. I figured I'd give it a try one more time another night, called her, went out, and the night ended in the same result. I didn't talk to her for a week or so, then saw her randomly out in a bar on a night when I was going to be playing on stage. I was with my roomates and my neighbors, so after I said hi to girl 2, I continued my conversation with my friends. I ignored the other girl. Later that night, I get a text message, "You are an *******, don't ever talk to me again."
Here, this girl gave me what I was after, then decided she was falling for me, and couldn't go for the no strings stuff anymore. Now, before you say anything about these two situations, let me tell you that I know for a fact that Girl 1 has hooked up with guys she had recently met. Girl 2 is a bible beater. She quite possibly was a virgin, although I'm pretty sure she had sex with her last boyfriend before me. The guy before that? She broke up with him because, God told her to. Girl 2 wanted me that night because I was different than every other guy she'd ever met. I was in control of myself, I wasn't drooling all over her, and I treated her like I treated any of my friends that night. She knew right away that she would have sex with me. Keeping girls off of pedestals is so key. It's so important to keep her on the same level playing field, or they'll just use you as a stepstool.
I didn't proofread this, so I hope it has some continuity. If not, then I guess the moral of this post is if you're looking for a one night stand, remember that you're better off not having the girl fall in love with you. Be interesting, be smooth, be funny, but don't try to be some chivalrous knight in shining armor. You'll end up working much harder to get the same end. I may have handled the end of these two relationships badly, but it worked out great for me. I had a lot of fun for a few nights, and I'm still single, which was my goal, afterall.
Another quick thing. Don't let yourself drunk dial. It's the end of you, seriously. We've all done it at least once. Send a text message cause you're drunk and horny... make a phone call for the same reasons. That's a sure-fire way to ruin your chances with a girl. I watched two of my three roomates destroy any and all hope at getting laid because of that.
I hope this post makes sense, and someone can walk away with some more knowledge from it.
- Zero
