Girls on the Rebound

[Reyaj]

You would think that girls that recently got dumped by their boyfriends or had a hostile break up are vunerable to getting seduced..... well I'll tell you I have not had success here at all... maybe once but that was time after the break up...

The logical thought is to try and seduce the girl rapidly while she's in this state but in my experiences it seems like they are either too down to have fun or just too cynical of men's advances....

Has anyone had success here? Please share your tips because I must be doing something wrong. You always hear about girls screwing some other guy on the rebound and it hasn't been me...

I tried this past Friday with this girl that just broke up with her ex..... She basically flaked on me last minute even though our meet up looked promising

 

[sodbuster]

recent divorcees are crazy. They think they have the right to do all the"stuff" the womens magazines have been saying for he last 20 years-but their husband wouldn't let them because he"kept them down" takes them a couple years to settle down to normal,unless they land a chump first.
They may fock like rabbits,but their mind is so full of drama-it isn't usually worth a LTR

 

[speed dawg]

You can't go into this situation trying to be her boyfriend. You have to be the guy she can go have fun with, more of a fling than anything. I wouldn't even advise going on a date with her, just meet her somewhere that's upbeat, have some drinks, etc. Spend very little money on this...

 

[Reyaj]

yeah I'd only be looking at a fling here... but sometimes getting them to even meet up is a challenge... I just thought that after a recent break up or anger towards their significant other they'd be more inclined to hook up with someone else.

I am starting to think that this isn't the case..

 

[Lexington]

In my experience, you have to be somewhat distant from the girl. You can't be someone she knows well. She's just looking for a sex object. If she knows you well, it would be too personal. But an acquaintance or someone she just met would fit the bill perfectly. You don't want to ask her out. You don't want it to be anything resembling a romance.

The best time to catch her is when she's out with her friends. When she's sad and moping around, one of her girlfriends will undoubtedly taker her out to the bar or some party to cheer her up. She'll probably have a good amount of alcohol in her too. That's when you move in. And chances are, her friends are going to encourage it because they'll be sick of her complaining about how lonely she is and they'll be glad to pass her off to a guy for a night!

The thing is, it's hard to plan to catch a girl on the rebound. You just have to luck out and be there at the right time.

 

[squirrels]

You can't go into this situation trying to be her boyfriend. You have to be the guy she can go have fun with, more of a fling than anything. I wouldn't even advise going on a date with her, just meet her somewhere that's upbeat, have some drinks, etc. Spend very little money on this...

Dawg nailed it.

If you're gonna go for a rebound, crash the board HARD and be PHYSICAL. Strike while the iron's hot. She'll wanna get freaky during the initial break, but once she has time to think, the classic women's guilt will creep in. You're not getting play then.

And if you try to pick her up while she's still hurting from being single/separated/dissatisfied with her man, if you try to play the role of boyfriend/committed lover, she'll still be looking at you through the same glasses she looked at HIM with. In other words, she's thinking boyfriend = arsehole, so you don't want her thinking you = boyfriend.

Honestly, it's almost better to catch her BEFORE the break-up...to be the REASON she breaks up. Then you = freedom from arsehole boyfriend

 

[Jitterbug]

I'm kinda good at being the Rebound Guy whose c0ck women rebound off, not shoulders.

The key is, as mentioned, being a cool guy who would take her out to do something fun. Don't bring the break-up into conversation so that she could cry on your shoulders, urggghhh. She's already got a strong negative emotion internally. You introduce her to a strong positive emotion. Some place where the music is danceable, there's horny in the air, with alcohol in the mix, stir the pot and you got yourself some rebound poon.

Those girls are my acquaintances, although I did catch a strange on the rebound that I didn't know about.

 

[romangod]

I just thought that after a recent break up or anger towards their significant other they'd be more inclined to hook up with someone else.

I am starting to think that this isn't the case..

That's pretty good thinking Sherlock. :rockon:


Your original premise is way off of the mark.


Cheers!

 

[Sinistar]

I would think context matters here just like anything else.

On the one end of the spectrum is the woman who just got dumped by a guy who would never quite commit, maybe he was the bad boy, narcissistic, cheated a few times and she took him back, etc. Wouldn't this woman be more like to rebound with a guy she owned the frame of (think partial, but discrete).

On the other end of the spectrum is the woman getting out of a relationship where the guy was a total afc wussbag, lacked confidence, always supplicating, basically smothering her. Wouldn't this woman be more likely to overcome here guilt (if she ended it) or pain (if they ended it mutually) and tend towards the bad boy who also is discrete but could care less about her?

Nothing's absolute, but it seems like the relationship they were in plays a pretty big role as to whether they'll be more likely to rebound. Also, if she has no female friends or family I think the odds of her "rebounding" will be much greater.

As the other posters have said, your odds of hooking up with a "rebounder" will increase noticeably if you give off the vibe that your time together is very discrete and if she senses absolutely zero relationship vibe coming from you. Heck, she might even need to feel she used you to get even somehow. No matter what, in this "rebound" period her ASD shields will be way up.

One more thing. Rebound is such a lame term. After how much time is it no longer a rebound? Me, I think it's a great invention by an indirect creatures (ie women). Problem: To not have to overtly admit they want / need some raw physical intimacy (especially right after a breakup). Solution: Just call it a "rebound" which then insulates them from society branding them as slvtty. The irony, it's their own kind (ie primarily women) who would label them slvtty (afcs aren't the only ones living in a barrel pulling each other back in).

FYI - I have a feeling this whole "rebound" as another feminine social convention must have been addressed before on the forum.

 

[Jitterbug]

FYI - I have a feeling this whole "rebound" as another feminine social convention must have been addressed before on the forum.

It's covered before. It's a female excuse to wh0re it up and not count the encounters.

Women have a whole lot of excuses to not count men they've slept with: rebound, just-a-friend, pity fvck, holiday fvck, travel fvck, pay-the-rent fvck etc.

 

[jophil28]

You would think that girls that recently got dumped by their boyfriends or had a hostile break up are vunerable to getting seduced..... well I'll tell you I have not had success here at all...

It makes perfect sense that you have had no success. Women treat a breakup quite differently to the way men do.
Men typically return to the hunt to find a replacement G/f , or at least a woman to have casual sex with.
Women typically retreat into the safety of their family connections, or to the warmth of the friendships that are offered by their girlfriends. THis situation can last for a year or more, after which she will tenatively ' choose' a first class AFC to date because he is perceived to be "safe".

However, remember this, retreat is borne of fear and self protection, so it follows that a woman who has been recently dumped will usually limit her interactions to those which offer emotional safety.

 

[Lexington]

I would think context matters here just like anything else.

On the one end of the spectrum is the woman who just got dumped by a guy who would never quite commit, maybe he was the bad boy, narcissistic, cheated a few times and she took him back, etc. Wouldn't this woman be more like to rebound with a guy she owned the frame of (think partial, but discrete).

On the other end of the spectrum is the woman getting out of a relationship where the guy was a total afc wussbag, lacked confidence, always supplicating, basically smothering her. Wouldn't this woman be more likely to overcome here guilt (if she ended it) or pain (if they ended it mutually) and tend towards the bad boy who also is discrete but could care less about her?

Nothing's absolute, but it seems like the relationship they were in plays a pretty big role as to whether they'll be more likely to rebound. Also, if she has no female friends or family I think the odds of her "rebounding" will be much greater.

As the other posters have said, your odds of hooking up with a "rebounder" will increase noticeably if you give off the vibe that your time together is very discrete and if she senses absolutely zero relationship vibe coming from you. Heck, she might even need to feel she used you to get even somehow. No matter what, in this "rebound" period her ASD shields will be way up.

One more thing. Rebound is such a lame term. After how much time is it no longer a rebound? Me, I think it's a great invention by an indirect creatures (ie women). Problem: To not have to overtly admit they want / need some raw physical intimacy (especially right after a breakup). Solution: Just call it a "rebound" which then insulates them from society branding them as slvtty. The irony, it's their own kind (ie primarily women) who would label them slvtty (afcs aren't the only ones living in a barrel pulling each other back in).

FYI - I have a feeling this whole "rebound" as another feminine social convention must have been addressed before on the forum.

In my experience, girls who have close female friends are very likely to have "rebound sex." In fact many times, their girlfriends encourage it.

Back in my AFC days, there was this girl I was trying to get with. I was such a chump that I never ended up making a move on her. I was already incredibly scared to make a move but then she told me about how she'd had a bad breakup with her boyfriend and she was hurting real bad etc. That ended just about any chance of me making a move. So of course, I became her therapist.

Oh, she seemed so sweet and angelic. I was going to wait until she was feeling better and then I'd ask her out. Then she'd see what a great guy I was and how I stood by her and she'd come running into my arms!!!!

Well, one day she was at a club and her friend actually hooked her up with a friend of mine. She barely even knew the guy, but she went home with him that night and spent the night there. I didn't even know about it until months later.

As it turns out, her friend just walked up to this guy (who she talked to a few times before and kinda liked) and just said, "Hey, my friend is feeling pretty lonely, do you want to help her out?"

This is actually a pretty common phenomenon it seems. Because I was a beneficiary of this once. This girl broke up with her boyfriend but she didn't tell me about him. Once I was hanging out with her and her friends, and her friends made sure we sat next to each other etc. And then they left us alone....

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Jayed,
No I haven't had your experience......In mine,Ladies out of a relationship for say a month or two are very vulnerable,their self esteem has taken a hammering and they will generally grab at any sympathetic cove who happens along....later on after they dump you,they have the inbuilt excuse,"Well what can you expect I picked him up when I was on the rebound".

 

[Reyaj]

The reponses to this are interesting. I'll admit I think some of them are pure theory... but I'll look at the ones that are based on real experience...

It seems to be seperated into two trains of thought.

1.) Act quickly with a girl on the rebound... just go somewhere fun and don't be her shoulder to cry on. Make yourself just a physical outlet

2.) Since they have their guard up emotionally... try to penetrate that and gain her trust... and then slow play you're way into her panties...

I agree with what everyone said about girls with friends being easier... this applies from both the encouragement the friends give but even more importantly that they help get her out....

I guess what I'm looking for is more field reports from people that have sucessfully done this

 

[Jitterbug]

Jayer, in my case, #2 was already accomplished before I tried #1, since I know most of those girls for quite some time prior to their breakup. They also know that I'm a fun guy and not trying to pull them into a relationship.

So #1 and #2 are not necessarily separated.

 

[jophil28]

Dear Jayed,
No I haven't had your experience......In mine,Ladies out of a relationship for say a month or two are very vulnerable,their self esteem has taken a hammering and they will generally grab at any sympathetic cove who happens along....later on after they dump you,they have the inbuilt excuse,"Well what can you expect I picked him up when I was on the rebound".

This ^^^.
Rebound women are usually unstable, unpredictable and in emotional disarray. They are either willing to fukk any half decent guy who buys them a few shots OR they erect an impenetrable b!tch shield. They flake on dates, cancel at the last minute, play adolescent mindgames and generally are not worth the effort.

There are more worthy candidates out there , men.

 

[Jitterbug]

Err, you don't go on dates with rebound girls, Uncle Jophil. That's just making yourself the punching bag for her to have some revenge on men.

Although I agree that they generally aren't worth much more than opportunistic fvck & chuck. I'm growing out of it (unless she's really hot ). Been there, done that, moving on to the next on the to-do list.

 

[jophil28]

Err, you don't go on dates with rebound girls, Uncle Jophil. That's just making yourself the punching bag for her to have some revenge on men. .

That was the point of my warning .
By pointing out their erratic behavior, I hoped to save some chump, who is stuck in the 'dating' mentality, a whole lot of frustration .
Your point about becoming their punching bag is another fine reason not to 'date' them.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

I've only one experience with a recently divorced chick. I treated her like any other, slow at first, escalate, and close. Then GTFO when it starts to get sketchy.

We met for coffee, couple days later I picked her up at her place and we went to dinner and back to her place for sex. That lasted a while until she started acting goofy, and I stopped calling her.

A girl being recently divorced should only be something to disqualify them from a relationship, if that's what you're after. You shouldn't use it as an indicator of ease of seduction. It's only one variable among the billion others running through her head at any given moment.

Just proceed like you would with any other chick. Escalate, escalate, close, and then qualify or disqualify per your criteria.

 

[Reyaj]

So I am reflecting on threads I started....

Basically being out at a bar or club when they are drinking is proven advice...