Girls...not normal.

[ASUknowit18]

Hey guys, first time poster long time reader. I have found invaluable info here and it's really helped.

I read plenty of the archives on calling girls and found some good stuff...but I have a unique situation here.

OK, so on Thursday I go to a Dave Matthews concert with my friends...8 of us. One of my friends has a girlfriend that is also my friend...and she has a hot sister. I have flirted with her on two past occasions...and she has inquired about me through my friend after I have seen her (but I was in college in Arizona so I didn't want to act on it until I got home for the summer.)

So she ends up showing up at the DMB concert and I wasn't even expecting it. I was about the perfect drunk not to make an ass out of myself yet lose the perfect amount of inhibition.

So the concert is going on and she comes over to me and we start talking. I don't remember most of the concert, I was too busy talking to her and she was grabbing for the hand and with my the whole night. It went great, no hiccups. I asked what she thought her sister and her boyfriend (my friends girlfriend and also my friend on her own) would think about us going out. She said "you have always been their favorite" and laughed. OK, so the DMB concert went great.

On the ride home, I was pretty drunk and just text messaged her asking what she was doing. She responded and then I responded to that, and the text message stuff ended with her writing I hope to hear from you soon...good night.

Good times.

That was Thurs. night.

Friday night comes along. I was texting my roommate in Arizona who is a pro golfer while I was drinking...and asked how he played, but sent it to the girl not my roommate on accident. She asked "Play what" and I wrote back that that message was going to my roommate...I wasn't paying attention. Then I asked her what she was up to, and she didn't respond. Whatever.

So Saturday comes along. I call her at midday to see if she wanted to do something on Sunday. No answer. OK.

Here is the thing...so that night I see her sister and my friend (obviously the same people from the concert) and my friend asked if I called her. I said yeah, but she didn't answer. He said she was at a graduation party with him and his girlfriend for their family. I was like OK. He said...Yeah, call her tomorrow...she really likes you. She brought it up today.

I was happy to hear that. I thought it was going to be no problem.

So Sunday I had a lot of family stuff to do, and didn't want to seem like my world revolved around her...so I decided I would call her on Monday.

I called her Monday night around 9, and no answer again. I didnt' leave a message either time.

Guys, if I screwed this up without even talking to her...I think I am a lost cause.

This is retarded. If this was a girl that I met at a bar I would throw her number away and just realize...NO INTEREST. But this is unique b/c I have a third part y that is my good friend who sees her all the time.

What should my next step be? I just talked to my friend who goes out with the girl I want's sister who was basically begging me to call her...and he said he would figure out what the hell was going on.

 

[sycarrera]

IMHO, that's way too many contacts way too soon. I'd seriously give it a week or so and then maybe give it one more try. Just because you have an in with this one does not mean some basic and fundamental rules do not apply. If she's into you then maybe she'll return one of your (many) calls. If not, maybe a week later one last effort, then to hell with it, move one.

IMHO, don't ever call and not leave a message, you get no points for that and it precludes you from calling back anyway.

BTW, did it occur to you that they are probably telling her how much you like her too? That's all the more reason not to come off as overly eager. Leave her alone for a while. If she calls you back, don't answer and call her back a day or two later.

 

[ASUknowit18]

Originally posted by sycarrera
IMHO, that's way too many contacts way too soon. I'd seriously give it a week or so and then maybe give it one more try. Just because you have an in with this one does not mean some basic and fundamental rules do not apply. If she's into you then maybe she'll return one of your (many) calls. If not, maybe a week later one last effort, then to hell with it, move one.

IMHO, don't ever call and not leave a message, you get no points for that and it precludes you from calling back anyway.

Thanks for the quick reply. I didn't think that was too many calls..I could be mistaken. I just called on Saturday (two days after the concert) and then normally I would wait about 5 days to call since she didn't answer...but since my friend told me to call her the next day (and I still waited a day) so I ended up calling Monday.

Shoot, I didn't think of how much my friend is saying I like her...but I don't think he would be doing that. I need to find that out...so complicated over what seemed like a freakin slam dunk.

 

[sycarrera]

I don't think you necessarily screwed it up but you definitely need some damage control here.

A tm counts as a call (even if unintentional), especially when you had last unreturned contact. I would have suggested waiting till at least Sunday to initiate any contact after you saw her at the concert.

BTW, you may want to line up a couple casual dates this week and subtley make sure your friend and his girl happen to hear about it. Just matter of factly. The girl you like knows you're interested so it may not hurt to show her that you're not completely obsessed and are still entertaining other candidates, which I hope is the case.

 

[sycarrera]

Originally posted by ASUknowit18 I need to find that out... [/B]

No no, enough! Leave it alone for at least a few days! LOL At a minimum your friend will probably tell his girl that you asked about her AGAIN, and of course the girl will tell the sister, you get the idea . . .

 

[ASUknowit18]

Originally posted by sycarrera
No no, enough! Leave it alone for at least a few days! LOL At a minimum your friend will probably tell his girl that you asked about her AGAIN, and of course the girl will tell the sister, you get the idea . . .

OK. If he calls me (b/c he is my friend and we do stuff together) what should I do? He has been the one who has brought it up (talking about the girl) not me.

When they walked into the bar on Saturday, that was the first time I have seen them since the concert. I left the bar to get a phone call, and came back about 20 minutes later. THEY asked me if that was the girl. I said no. THEY asked me if I talked to her...I said no. I told them I called her earlier but she didn't pick up.

Thanks again for the advice. I just moved back from Arizona after 4 years so I don't have any connections in Chicago since I have left (Other than my male friends).

 

[ASUknowit18]

A good ending...

Tonight, unexpectedly...she texted me "too cool to leave a voicemail?"

We just texted for an hour and we are going for drinks tomorrow. Thank gosh I didn't blow this. :cheer:

 

[sycarrera]

Originally posted by ASUknowit18
A good ending...

Tonight, unexpectedly...she texted me "too cool to leave a voicemail?"

We just texted for an hour and we are going for drinks tomorrow. Thank gosh I didn't blow this. :cheer:

Okay well cool, but definitely take a break for a few days after the drinks to keep her guessing a little.