"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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girls like jerks

Berlex

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Here's an AIM conversation I had with a "nice" girl who I thought was interested in "nice" guys. She's talking about a guy she went out with.

her: actually he can just be a jerk
her: I swear I could beat him up
Me: what is it about us jerks that you find appealing?
her: Berlex, I dont know
her: because "you" jerks arent like me
her: why would I want some jock, laid back, intelligent guy?
her: it would be like dating myself
me: yeah that would be pretty boring
her: exactly

I was never really interested in her to begin with so I did a little experiment by treating her like dirt (I'm neither a nice guy nor jerk in real life). She has already asked me out a couple times but I turned her down.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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DonJuanMonk

Master Don Juan
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Originally posted by Berlex
Here's an AIM conversation I had with a "nice" girl who I thought was interested in "nice" guys. She's talking about a guy she went out with.

her: actually he can just be a jerk
her: I swear I could beat him up
Me: what is it about us jerks that you find appealing?
her: Berlex, I dont know
her: because "you" jerks arent like me
her: why would I want some jock, laid back, intelligent guy?
her: it would be like dating myself
me: yeah that would be pretty boring
her: exactly

I was never really interested in her to begin with so I did a little experiment by treating her like dirt (I'm neither a nice guy nor jerk in real life). She has already asked me out a couple times but I turned her down.
UH, You just don't "get it." quite yet

It's not about dating a jerk, it's about dating a person WHO KNOWS who he is and what he WANTS. Some girls go for soft hearted but huge scary guys. Some girls go for tall lanky emo guys. Some girls go for the silent but jerky type. Some girls go for the arrogant jerky and rich type. Etc. There's a type for each person.

1. Know yourself
2. Date girls that are like yourself
3. ???
4. Profit
 

SeldomSeen

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RE:

maybe she's young. I gather nothing from that conversation except that her head may not be screwed on tight. LOL
 

Silverback82

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Originally posted by Berlex

her: why would I want some jock, laid back, intelligent guy?

it's funny how guys here are obsessed with retards that say things like this
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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TillTheEndOfTime

Master Don Juan
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Originally posted by Berlex
Here's an AIM conversation I had with a "nice" girl who I thought was interested in "nice" guys. She's talking about a guy she went out with.

her: actually he can just be a jerk
her: I swear I could beat him up
Me: what is it about us jerks that you find appealing?
her: Berlex, I dont know
her: because "you" jerks arent like me
her: why would I want some jock, laid back, intelligent guy?
her: it would be like dating myself
me: yeah that would be pretty boring
her: exactly

I was never really interested in her to begin with so I did a little experiment by treating her like dirt (I'm neither a nice guy nor jerk in real life). She has already asked me out a couple times but I turned her down.
You are failing miserably to get the point she is making.

Originally posted by Berlex
her: it would be like dating myself
me: yeah that would be pretty boring
her: exactly
Notice what the operative word is here: BORING.
She is interested in him not because he's a jerk, but because he's
exciting/interesting. The jerk qualities come along with this, but she accepts that because she likes the excitment, not because she specifically likes the jerk in him.

A lot of these self-proclaimed "nice guys" are not so much "nice guys" as boring, uninteresting guys who don't take risks. I used to be one of them 3 years ago, so I know this vicious cycle of trying to be "nice" and then seeing them go out with "jerks" and then just writing it off as girls liking jerks and I don't want to be one. This is a self-destructive philosophy and you're only fooling yourself into thinking you don't want to be a jerk when you just really don't want to take a risk.
 

DJ4Real

Master Don Juan
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I love taking risks with any woman. Just try to be exciting, that's all.
 
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