"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Girls forum warning

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wavejams007

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I was just checking the badgirlswirl webwsite forum, and for the guys that go there, especially with the idea of asking for answers to a question from a girl's perspective, you could get some help, but keep these things in mind.
1. They do not look very favorably on the Don juan forums.

2. they say pretty false stuff sometimes, like " if a girl likes you, she will tell you." B.S. Also, they do not give any hope for those trying to get out of the friendzone and all.
3. I do not want to start a girl-forum-bashing thread, there could be some merit in girl forums, but just keep an analytical eye.

Just some advice.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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teencraft

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I want the last 45 seconds of my life back.
 

Mr. Debonaire

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good post wavejams, just remember to keep an open mind

teencraft, you took 45 seconds to read this? :p

lol grim
 

HurricaneBilly

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1) But most times when a Swirler comes over here and asks a question or tries to be friendly, she gets flamed.

2) Many of the girls there are college aged. Some may tell you if they don't like you. Others won't.

3) The threads where Swirlers contribute usually wind up to be flame wars. I would love it if this was not the case, but DJs are just as bad about this as Swirlers are.

If the peace can be kept, cool. But I doubt it because there is always a group of hostiles on both sides.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Sexy_Malibu

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1. I know that site and I will say that the swirlers don't look badly on the DJ forums necessarily, but on the DJs who have gone to their site in the past. (Most of them have been *******s or trolls and there was a big "invasion" a while back that was NOT pretty). There have been a few males who came to the site and weren't ****s and didn't get flamed, but the large majority of DJs visiting the swirl seem as though they are there to stir up trouble.

2. All women are different, so you can't expect to get any more clear cut insight into the woman's mind from an all-female forum than you can from being on sosuave.

That's also part of why a lot of the swirlers get annoyed by the DJs coming over there to "understand women" because they DON'T have the answers, because women are not all alike.

You won't get "false" answers, you'll just get THEIR own answers, which (unless they are the particular women you are hitting on) won't necessarily be helpful. Also, something to keep in mind is that a large majority of the girls on that site are rather liberal-minded and semi-modern. (Meaning something like "if she likes you, she'll tell you" IS true to a lot of them, because that's just the type of women they are).

3. Sometime else to keep in mind is that just because it is an all-girls forum, doesn't make it the female equivalent of sosuave. The focus of that site is NOT dating/sex so it gets annoying to be bothered constantly with questions that are in "DJ-mode".


:)
 

wavejams007

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i hear you, sexy-malibu. I went there and didn't act like a hellraiser. ONe girl found out I created this post, and asked me about it, so I responded tactfully and didn't get flamed ata all.:cool:
 
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