Girls feel sorry for me?

[jcb1772]

Ok I've been having some problems with being picked on recently at my school. Fortunately there are no evil-eyed, serious bullies I know...however, one of my so-called "friends" has, for a while, found fun in putting me down in front of crowds. He does it while laughing...and tries to get others to laugh along with him...AT me. I'm a skinny, weak guy...he's kinda fat but strong. Some of his buds (including a few people who I can't seem to get away from) like to play-fight a lot, and since I'm weak I'm often a target. Again...he's not MAD at me or anything...he's doing it for his own FUN. Now it's not just him because I do get playfully teased a lot by other normal guys, but with them I can usually laugh off and handle because they're like "just playing, you're cool" or whatever.

Anybody have any advice on how to stop this clown and to minimize being teased by others? It's sometimes embarrassing...I don't like it and I feel stupid that I actually considered him my friend for a long time this year.

Here's the second part...some girls have started to stand up for me. In one class today, some kids were chanting my name in one class (very random, but I handled it like it was a funny-yet-wtf type thing). Now I was cool with that even though it is kind of "teasing" me...but the girl who sits across from me who I happened to try to get a while back said REAL quietly I could barely hear her, "stop picking on him" or something. THEN...later today when some stupid kids who like to play-fight started cornering me and lightly punching (again, fun and games but still annoying)...one girl who was in a girl group nearby just yelled "stop!" or something. She was one who also had earlier asked that jerk how come he picked on me so much. I'm pretty good friends with her.

So uhh, it seems like they feel sorry for me or something...I think it's kind of good that they're standing up for me but then I just feel like I'm helpless and they're only doing it because they feel SORRY for a weak, pansy boy and nothing more. Or could they like me to an extent, and that's why they're being vocal when I'm being teased? (optimistic, I know)

Just to clarify I'm really not seen as that big of a whimp, and this is just a small part of how people look at me. I'm a nice guy, I'll admit that, but I'm definately not a geek/nerd either. Other than not having much build, I'm not that bad looking at all. And I do have plenty of cool guy friends who don't do that...it's just that certain percentage who do. Help on the teasers and input on what the girls are really thinking would be greatly appreciated.

 

[Best friends? NAY]

The odds of them being attrachted to you are real small.

Bulk up over the summer, if you come back deccently bigger then when you left it should cut down the bullying, and if not then just play fight back, a little harder then they do.

 

[gravstar]

yeh put some beef on. pump those guns an wen u feel the burn just remember how pissed off u get at them an how much u wanna smash em, it will motivate u more. the girls will also think of u better if u have a bulky build, trust me.

 

[JSH]

JCB: the most likely answer is to look at the title of your thread the "girls feel sorry for me".

This means that they are even less likely to be attracted to you than the ones who are quiet. However, you can use this empathy as an in and become friends with them. Whatever anyone else says, try to avoid fighting. Im naturally built quite big and i used to turn to fists and either they would start to lose and their mates would join in or they would be the ones that everyone else sided with after you hurt them. Plus you can get in lots trouble for it.

To put the loss of sympathy into context, a couple of years ago id just come back from a sports competition and i was angry that i had lost. I came back especially to take part in another for the school. Getting changed in the changing room there was a lot of teasing, what tipped it was when some boy emptied his muddy boots all over me, i stood up, punched him really hard in the face and then slammed him into the wall, unfortunately, i split his head open on a peg (thank god it was semi cushioned by some stuuff hanging off it). The boy got rushed off to the nurse (hes ok and is now one of my close friends and the school never found out) but everyone in that changing room turned on me. It was about to get ugly, to top it all off it was my birthday, then one popular boy who i was friendlyish with at the time (but whom i had had several fights wiht) stepped in and told everyone else to **** off because i was always getting picked on.

My reaction was kind of typical for me, i resorted to fists too much and people would try to tease me to get a rise out of me. That incident stuck in my mind, just because i was grateful that someone stood up for me. it was so rare, since previously I had alienated all my support. That was the first time that me and other people were united in protecting myself. At the end of all the other fights, even when people were trying to stop the other kids bullying me, i would be turned on by a crowd. I fight clean as well.

DONT FIGHT

 

[Nexxus]

don't go looking for fights but if you do end up in one fight back and don't let those guys say **** about you, if they do just walk away n talk to other people or start gettin in a play word fight

not hard to go to gym and get some extra muscle, just go work out, easy

 

[Patrick124]

play-fighting is gay and a major turn-off for girls.

 

[Sir Lancelot]

If he starts teasing you, tease him back. Really dude, teasing's nothing to worry about. Just participate. My friends and I tease each other about useless crap all the time, and it's always in good fun.

But with the classroom situation, that's a little more difficult. Whatever you do, don't fight someone. Don't lose your cool. By doing that you show them that their teasing really gets you rattled up and they'll continue to do it. Don't be afraid to tease them back, however, no matter how big they are.

Other than that, start bulking up. I've noticed that ever since I've tacked on 15 lbs most people are slightly more intimidated by me. You could use this in your favor.

 

[sstype]

Further validates that skinny men get no respect whatsoever.

I feel ya man. Getting taken advantage of and being the butt of all jokes was something I went through during middle and high school. It gets better in college, but there will always be that superiority complex among your so-called "friends"

So do something about your life. Write it down, make a plan for action. This summer man ya got three months, you can make some impressive gains if you start working out with consistency.

 

[Patrick124]

I used to be the skinny-guy. I got ****, but i spoke **** back. I'm a nice guy, and I've enver gotten really-close to gettign in a fight. People respect me cause I've *****ed at some of the biggest guys around.

Since then I started lifting, which wgave e a major confidence boost, especially when the bigger guys came up and said "**** pat, you're gettin cut man, keep that **** up"...and let me say, nothings in my way now. I'm everyones equal. No, fvck that, I'm better.

Lift man, do it.

 

[JSH]

Originally posted by Nexxus
don't go looking for fights but if you do end up in one fight back and don't let those guys say **** about you, if they do just walk away n talk to other people or start gettin in a play word fight

not hard to go to gym and get some extra muscle, just go work out, easy

No, if you end up in a fight, walk away. DO NOT FIGHT, ever, at school, you can always walk away.

 

[aftershock]

Laugh it off.

If there chanting your name in class, stand up and join in.

If theres a rumour about you, spread it and elaborate on it. People will be less likely to believe the original version.

There is no point in fighting. Really.

I don't know how old you are, but I'd agree with the advice to come back a changed guy in the summer. (Preferably with a HB 8.5 on your right arm and a HB 9 on the other)

 

[jcb1772]

Yeah I'm 15...wrapping up my freshmen year. I'm just now finished with track season...being exhausted from that has sort of prevented me from working out as much as I'd like to. But now that it's over I plan on going back to this personal trainer AND doing my own weights at home. Coming back as a stronger guy would be awesome...I think I'll set that as my number 1 priority.

Play-fighting IS gay, that's exactly what I've tried to tell those ahem,friends,cough of mine...I've literally SEEN it turn off nearby girls...but those close-minded fools still think they're better/cooler than me or whatever. I have thought about laughing off and joining in the light teasing, but then wouldn't that sort of promote it even more? I don't want to be a huff or no-fun a$$ about it but I don't want to encourage it either.

Thanks for all the replies.

 

[saminex]

I dont think you have to work out persay....but u have to gain their respect. The bottom line is those kids dont respect you. When in elementary school bullies pick on kids who dont defend themselves. maybe thats why grils defend you, they dont think you cand efend yourself. I say next time they pull that **** , u get real serious, look them in the eye and say "chill the **** out" and walk away. They'll probably try to talk to u and laugh it off and tell them if they pull that gay **** with you again you just want to cut ties with them.