"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Girls dad is about to die, how to handle it?

Anymore

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I have tried searching for the answer on here and cannot find it, how would a DJ handle a text message or phone call from a girl whos dad has just died?

Me and this girl arent serious yet, but she displays all the signs of interest, I havent gotten too involved because I am not quite sure how to handle the situation and the DJ bibles comments about how to not pair yourself with a girls negative emotions etc

I know I have to act like a man, but no one close to me so far has ever died so I have never delt with death, just looking for some help, any given would be much appreciated :D
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Keeper

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This isn't a time to be a DJ. It's a time to be human.

If whoever close to me has this kind of loss, I would do my best to console them.
 

Charppy

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I'm not a DJ so take this with a grain of salt...I think the best thing to do is "Just be there when she needs you" or if she asks you...I can't see how being there for someone in their time of need is going to make you a non juan..especially during a time of death...However I'm not to sure I would make myself like the major contributor of the shoulder to cry on...This is really a tough one cause as I said I'm no DJ so perhaps someone who is one can do a much better job of it.
Later
 

Anymore

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Yeah dont get me wrong im not going to try and do anything sleezey while she is grieving.

I just offer my condolenses and if she needs me I am here?
 

ethnomethodologist

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All you can do is amplify kino...

Being a DJ is more than being a PU artist, they are not her negative emotions, they are mourning emotions... cheer her up, get her to talk about what a man her dad is and was, just get her to talk, if she keeps it all inside she might snap...

Just don't let her start controlling you while she's mourning, just let her do it. If she needs alone time, offer to listen, if she wants to be near somebody, than your right there...

Don't run away from the prob though
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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check_mate_kid_uk

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Unless your a doctor dont do anything. Dont try to give her emotional help, you are not serious with her yet. You can be a shoulder to cry on for her (litraly) hug her or something but dont spend long trying to verbaly help her, just be very understanding with her, like if she cancels plans and that kind of stuff.
 

ShyRyder

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Anymore said:
Yeah dont get me wrong im not going to try and do anything sleezey while she is grieving.

I just offer my condolenses and if she needs me I am here?

Why???? Guy You Know grief sex is the best sex their is man.

Naw just playing you don't need how to read up on being yourself.

Ryder
 

Bourne

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Just be there for her and support her. Don't say much, let her talk.

My ex-gf's her grandmother was dying and she broke down at her work once, crying. I drove her home, when I was in the car I held her hand and said nothing. I was there for her through her grandmother dying.

Much later on she told me it was the best thing I could have done. I wasn't trying to talk to her about it and comfort her, I was just there for her.

DJ = being a man. You don't turn it on and off like a switch.
 

SamePendo

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check_mate_kid_uk said:
Unless your a doctor dont do anything. Dont try to give her emotional help, you are not serious with her yet. You can be a shoulder to cry on for her (litraly) hug her or something but dont spend long trying to verbaly help her, just be very understanding with her, like if she cancels plans and that kind of stuff.
Exaaactly. Don't hang around for much time, do the right thing, support her wholeheartedly, but leave ASAP. You are not her boyfriend, family, or friend, you are this cool guy who she luckily met and is giving her full support, but you've got stuff to do.
 

DJDamage

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check_mate_kid_uk said:
Unless your a doctor dont do anything. Dont try to give her emotional help, you are not serious with her yet. You can be a shoulder to cry on for her (litraly) hug her or something but dont spend long trying to verbaly help her, just be very understanding with her, like if she cancels plans and that kind of stuff.
I echo that thought. It all depends how close you are to her. If you are not very close to her then your close support could backfire on any chance that you had with her. She might see you more as a friend, a guy she can cry on his shoulder but that is not the position you want to be in since she is not seeing you in a sexual state yet. Also you got to remember the more happy you make her the more she will associate happiness with you. However in times like this she will be depressed and if you are around she will associate you with negative feelings and her interest in you could plummet as a result

I would offer my condolences or ask if you can help out the family if you want but leave the crying, hugging and the mourning to her family. In a few months she will hopefully be back to normal, but it does not mean that you can't sarge other girls in the meantime.

DjDamage
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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