girlfriend's past

[sureshot]

i've read all the other threads on gf's sexual pasts and have finally found my self in a similar situation. We are both 22 and college students.

Been with gf for about 5 months, she's crazy about me and i love her. however, recently someone told me about her past and I asked her. Shes slept with 11, 2 one night stands (although one was co-worker and other was friend of friend who she had met a few times, so not completely random)

for some reason this is bothering me. the problem is i don't know why and now i tend to feel what we have is not as special as i first though it is.

i'm more of a dominating / go-getter type and she is much more laid-back easy going which is why i feel we get along so well.

I know the past should not matter, but it bothers me. What is it exactly sub-consciously that is bothering me and how do I overcome this? Why have I all of a sudden become such a *****?

 

[Colinski282]

the past shouldnt concern you, give her respect for being honest when you brought it up. Yes you know the past shouldnt concern you so maybe what your subconscious is trying to say is that you are wanting to possess someone who is more of a virgin type figure. Maybe your subconscious tells you she may cheat on you. Whatever it is dont let it show in your actions, she will read you. She was probably immature when she was screwing around. Her honesty shows more maturity.

 

[sureshot]

she knows it bothers me... i told her because we are really honest with each other.

don't get me wrong. i love going out and trying to bring home the ONS. however, i just never saw myself dating that girl and it now seems that i have slipped into that situation.

 

[Docs]

We are both 22 and college students.
Been with gf for about 5 months, she's crazy about me and i love her. however, recently someone told me about her past and I asked her. Shes slept with 11, 2 one night stands (although one was co-worker and other was friend of friend who she had met a few times, so not completely random)

So, you expected a virgin mary at 22 and in college. Comeon now, think about it. How many girls do you know haven't slept around a little bit...obvisously the ones that aren't into guys at all, or are hardcore fvcked in the head with religion or something.

Now, how many guys have slept around. Precisely. Why should such a common detail bother you?

Point in case...you like her, she's been with you for 5 months. Good, move on from this hangup.

 

[Scrumtulescence]

Honestly, 11 guys for a 22 year old attractive(I assume) girl is nothing. Just be glad it's not in the 50-100+ range. If I were in a LTR with a hot girl that old or older, I'd be happy if it were only 11 guys. I've known some really cute, sweet, seemingly normal chicks who've banged so many guys they can't even count. One of them, a good friend of mine, has a potential-future-husband LTR boyfriend who's never slept with anyone else. Man that must be agony for him, LOL.

 

[sureshot]

haha i love it doc.. i will use your rational for now on.

i wanted a party girl, not a religious freak or socially awkward girl.

i guess i just got what i wanted.

 

[GHardy]

You gave yourself your own answer. You said that you "tend to feel what we have is not as special as i first though[t] it is."

Everyone wants to feel special, and knowing her sexual history makes you feel more like one in a chain of men, which makes you feel less special. The best way to deal with that is to acknowledge it and then try to move on. There's nothing wrong with feeling that way as long as you eventually get over it and don't let it take over your life and relationship.

And you are right to think about it as Docs suggested: be happy that you got a normal girl with a healthy attitude toward sex. Then you can just relax and have fun with her and not worry about whatever weird fears or hang-ups a non-experienced woman would have.

 

[resilient]

GHardy has great advice above. It indeed is just a mind trip you have to resolve in your head and learn to not care.

What you can do is focus on having the most fun with her every time you go out and she won't even think about all those guys she's been with in the past.

What matters is you're the DJ pimping her now. Not the long string of guys from her past.

As long as you keep up the challenge and don't give too much of your power away to her with your heart, mind, and soul - she'll keep you around.