Girlfriend's parents. Worth breaking up?

[hellfire45]

I have a girlfriend who is 17. I am 21.

We have made plans to study abroad together after a year of dating. That will be the next fall semester. However, her mother is ****ing crazy and is a control freak and won't let it happen. Even after a year. Because she won't have the control if we're so far away from home. Apparently her parents are in control as long as they are paying the college tuition and that will be for the next four years.

What the hell am I supposed to do about this kind of thing?

 

[edmond]

What does your girlfriend think?

 

[hellfire45]

she thinks they are unreasonsable but shes been broken through 17 years of non freedom. I have always been allowed to make my own choices and parents havnt been part of the equation for 3 yrs EVER since im a junior in college. I am not used to this.

 

[edmond]

Just be patient with her as she is between a rock and a hard place. But no matter what her loyalty will be with her family and not you.

 

[insanity]

i had the same problem as you with every girl i've dated since mid-evil times. the parents hated my guts. i always lost the girl in the end to the parents because the father would use lines such as " if you go out with him your not my daughter anymore", "if i hear you went out with him your dead to us."or he's way older than you and he isn't going anywhere". i lost many girlfriends because of lines like those.

over the years i found ways to combat the parents but they have tricks up their sleeves too. if the daughter doesn't fall for the lines, then daddy will pull out the tears...yes thats right the parents will cry. instant lose.

but here is how you win using cheap psychology. my womans parents used all the above lines and they pulled the tears. i told my girlfriend that if they say your dead to them or your not their daughter anymore. then they never really loved you anyways. not many parents that love their kids would threaten them.
i then said who's going to be on the planet longer. your parents have like 15-20 years left. me i got another 60. so do what your heart tells you to do.
and also over once they steam down, they will contact you. thats when you call the shots. and if they don't call they never really loved you anyways.

it works. i have been with the same girl for the last 5 years and her parents and i get along now. they had seen that i could take care of their daughter.

sometimes you have to prove to the parents that you don't take crap. your dating their daughter, not them. if you shy away without a fight and tell her that maybe her parents are right. then they will be and some other guy will break that cycle.

fight for your woman! thats if she is worthy

 

[edmond]

Insanity that was the worst bit of advice I read in a long time. Never try and turn family against each other and never come in between, as you will get crushed. Its their problem and only they must sort it out, but support your girl if she needs you.

 

[Jerky Boi]

Of course. I would never want to date a girl that picked me over her family. That's just crazy. I'd take a step back and be mature about the whole thing and let them handle their issues.

 

[hellfire45]

Im trying to...and i agree. I'd never turn family against each other. It's stupid and unfair to the girl.

 

[edmond]

She is going through a tough time and will be glad of your support.
Parents who try to dominate and manipulate their children are scum.
I have a 13 year old boy and as long as he is happy, then i am happy.

 

[insanity]

this is in no way or form bad advice. edmond you have a kid so i can see that going against a family isn't your thing. hey the guy really likes this girl. i told him what works and what doesn't. imagine your parents told you that you couldn't date this girl and they would never like her. thats just showing you no respect that you can't make judgements on your own. the last parents hated my guts and i never backed down and in the end i was right. they did come around. we are friends now. i proved myself in their eyes by taking care of their daughter out in the world. some of us aren't the type to brown nose their parents. i'm there for their daughter not to win their approval. if they want to get along, then i'm game. if they don't like me than why should i respect their opinion. they didn't know me or give me a chance.
the girl should be able to make her own choices. mine did and everybody in the end got what they wanted.

it doesn't matter who it is being parents or anybody. if you don't have any reason not to like me then why should i have any sort of respect for them.

and why wouldn't you want a girl that stands up for something she wants. thats just afc thinking that if a girl goes against her parents to be with you. that is real love man. but the afc always goes with what people tell him whats normal and that brown nosing the parents is on your resume.


to the original poster- listen to bruce springsteens music. most of the songs are about parents hating the boyfriend. in the end the guy battles the parents and gets the girl. have respect for yourself. she obviously sees something in you that her parents don't.

like i said. those are proving methods that won my girl over and i have been with her for 5 years. i have let women go in the past and told them to listen to their parents and guess what. some of the guys that their parents did approve only got them pregnant and single. parents advice is always outdated. they are from another time zone.

 

[edmond]

hellfire45 Dude, even though we are agreeing and disagreeing amongst ourselves
I hope that we can make you see the problem / solution from different angles in order to plan your battle campaign.Stay Strong.

 

[DJinTraining06]

if ur in it to get laid then who cares bout her folks, but if shes like a wifey type, be careful wat u get into. Cuz shell never take ur sideover her family.

 

[backbreaker]

first of all, if I had a 17 year old daughter, I would be hard pressed to let her date a 21 year old either, for two reasons.. first of all... she's 17. she is still a child (literarly) dating a man. Her mind isn't as mentally developed as a 21 year old.. that's a huge jump.

secondly, any 21 year old worth his salt wouldn't have to dip below the legal line to find a woman. If you were spinning plates, lets say you knew 6 women who wanted to be with you, would you risk it all and go to jail possibly for the 17 year old? That's not a spinnable plate.

and yes, you should care about her folks becuase that's rape

 

[Demon]

I would never want to date a girl that picked me over her family. That's just crazy.

Life's about living your life. I would never even think about a girl who lives under the thumb of somebody else.

 

[backbreaker]

She's 17!!! of course she lives under the thumb of someone else.

 

[Demon]

I'm thankful that this forum has an ignore list.