Girlfriend's going to Amsterdam... Should I panic?

[Stryker]

OK, so my girlfriend's going to Amsterdam in April for a week with a friend of hers. We've only been seeing each other for about five weeks or so now, but things are going well and she's told me she wants to be exclusive. I've yet to have any reason to mistrust her, but the idea of her spending a week in Amsterdam scares the crap out of me.

Does anyone here have any experience of this place? Should I really be so worried?

 

[Vidrio]

If she does cheat, you'll never find out, sooo...

 

[casaanova]

Need more info: When you say she agreed to be exclusive, were you guys in a fwb relationship initially? And is her friend single, or does she party a lot?

 

[HalfPUAHalfAFC]

You are in a bind here, sorry to break it to you.

First, Amsterdam is a great city. It's an adult playground, really. Food, sights, pot, canals, beer, art, night life, etc. It's a place to have fun and as we know, sex is the most fun of them all.

Second, there is a CONSTANT stream of tourists coming into and out of the city. And guess what? Old, boring, gray hairs are the minority of them. The majority of them are young people between 20-35, and they aren't coming there just to go to the Rijksmuseum or the Anne Frank Haus.

Third, women traveling with women friends are notorious for getting laid on vacation because "that doesn't count."

Fourth, they will party, a lot. In places with lots of other drunk and stoned people. They will get hit on. A lot. Plenty of cute guys with accents there who want to bang an American babe. She's going into the lion's den, basically.

Amsterdam is not London, Dublin, or Paris. That is, yes, someone could get picked up in one of those cities, but Amsterdam advertises its openness to drugs, sex, and rock-and-roll and young horny people from all over the world go there.

She will be tempted. She will have plenty of opportunity to get laid as much as she likes.

That's not to say that she will.

But you simply asked if you should be worried if she will. Yes, absolutely.

And you've only been dating 5 weeks? Probably not much of a bond there.

Blow up her text while she's gone, you'll drive right into Gunter's lap.

Not much you can do about it, really.

Sorry, I'm sure this won't help you sleep tonight or while she's gone, but don't ask a question you don't want an answer to.

Finally, as someone said above.... you'll never know. If she bangs a dude, she ain't telling you about it anyway.

Good luck with this man, you are going to need it.

 

[SamTheHobit]

Kinda sad that people not just women are so untrustworthy these days.

 

[bigneil]

People are never quite the same after they go on a long trip.

But unless she gets pregnant or an STD you shouldn't worry.

You need to let them live their life. She was how old when she met you? You were already screened out of a huge pool.

 

[ScottMustaine]

People are never quite the same after they go on a long trip.

But unless she gets pregnant or an STD you shouldn't worry.

You need to let them live their life. She was how old when she met you? You were already screened out of a huge pool.

I should've listened to bigneil when he told me to keep my gf as fwb instead of dumping her.


Let her live her life, live yours if you want.


If you really wanted to find out, make somehow fb account as some hot guy from amsterdam, lurk where she posts or something like that and chat her up. Then start sexting and see where it goes.

You risk of being busted though...

 

[SeymourCake]

She's gonna get so high.

 

[Married Buried]

Did she even offer that she wants you to go with her?

There is your answer. If she doesn't want you to go there is a reason.

Give her a test. Tell her "hey i am going to buy a ticket and go with you"

See how she reacts.

 

[yougottaknow90]

Did she even offer that she wants you to go with her?

There is your answer. If she doesn't want you to go there is a reason.

Give her a test. Tell her "hey i am going to buy a ticket and go with you"

See how she reacts.

I advise against this. She'll know what's up and you'll come off as insecure.

Just b/c she didn't ask that he come with her doesn't mean she's going to cheat. Not everybody wants to spend every minute with their bf/gf 5 weeks into the relationship.

TC, you won't know till she gets back. in fact, you may never find out. best thing to do is gauge her body language and what she says when she comes back. i.e. is she eager to show you pictures? eager to tell you about the trip? get you anything? that sort of stuff. if she's acting sketch then somethings definitely up. But you've only been seeing her 5 weeks.. i doubt you're that invested in her yet

 

[BeDJ]

The fact that she is entertaining the idea of going to Amsterdam should make you slam on the brakes. This chick is still in party mode and investing any emotion to the relationship will not pay off. Get some options right now to keep your mind off her during the trip.

DO NOT GET EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED WITH THIS WOMAN.

 

[Married Buried]

I advise against this. She'll know what's up and you'll come off as insecure.

Just b/c she didn't ask that he come with her doesn't mean she's going to cheat. Not everybody wants to spend every minute with their bf/gf 5 weeks into the relationship.

TC, you won't know till she gets back. in fact, you may never find out. best thing to do is gauge her body language and what she says when she comes back. i.e. is she eager to show you pictures? eager to tell you about the trip? get you anything? that sort of stuff. if she's acting sketch then somethings definitely up. But you've only been seeing her 5 weeks.. i doubt you're that invested in her yet

Ok maybe giving her the sh!t test is dumb because that's what women do.

But only the OP knows if she wants him to go. There would be signs.

 

[Stryker]

I should point out that she's had this trip booked since before we started seeing one another, so I don't think I'm in any position to offer to tag along, or worse yet, voice my concerns/stop her from going. Honestly, I feel like I should prepare for the worst, and perhaps it's wise to start juggling a few plates and try not to invest so much in this girl.

 

[Elephant]

I advise against this. She'll know what's up and you'll come off as insecure.

Just b/c she didn't ask that he come with her doesn't mean she's going to cheat. Not everybody wants to spend every minute with their bf/gf 5 weeks into the relationship.

TC, you won't know till she gets back. in fact, you may never find out. best thing to do is gauge her body language and what she says when she comes back. i.e. is she eager to show you pictures? eager to tell you about the trip? get you anything? that sort of stuff. if she's acting sketch then somethings definitely up. But you've only been seeing her 5 weeks.. i doubt you're that invested in her yet

Good advice

Don't give her some bs test or make a fake fb account unless you want to come off as unbelievably needy. Five weeks isn't that long so going on a trip without you isn't a red flag at all. It is however Amsterdam so that is something to be concerned about. Just do your best to wait it out and not get to attached. Like yougottaknow said, judge it when she gets back.

Try to stay calm for now as panicking won't help.

Edit: Since she has had this trip book before you it is a definite possibility she just wants to keep the plans with her friend and has no intention of cheating on you. I wouldn't assume the worst, or anything until she is back. That said, having other options is a very good idea.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

You are in a bind here, sorry to break it to you.

First, Amsterdam is a great city. It's an adult playground, really. Food, sights, pot, canals, beer, art, night life, etc. It's a place to have fun and as we know, sex is the most fun of them all.

Second, there is a CONSTANT stream of tourists coming into and out of the city. And guess what? Old, boring, gray hairs are the minority of them. The majority of them are young people between 20-35, and they aren't coming there just to go to the Rijksmuseum or the Anne Frank Haus.

Third, women traveling with women friends are notorious for getting laid on vacation because "that doesn't count."

Fourth, they will party, a lot. In places with lots of other drunk and stoned people. They will get hit on. A lot. Plenty of cute guys with accents there who want to bang an American babe. She's going into the lion's den, basically.

Amsterdam is not London, Dublin, or Paris. That is, yes, someone could get picked up in one of those cities, but Amsterdam advertises its openness to drugs, sex, and rock-and-roll and young horny people from all over the world go there.

She will be tempted. She will have plenty of opportunity to get laid as much as she likes.

That's not to say that she will.

But you simply asked if you should be worried if she will. Yes, absolutely.

And you've only been dating 5 weeks? Probably not much of a bond there.

Blow up her text while she's gone, you'll drive right into Gunter's lap.

Not much you can do about it, really.

Sorry, I'm sure this won't help you sleep tonight or while she's gone, but don't ask a question you don't want an answer to.

Finally, as someone said above.... you'll never know. If she bangs a dude, she ain't telling you about it anyway.

Good luck with this man, you are going to need it.

The above post hit the nail on the head.

I know a bunch of roided up, drug users who went to Amsterdam...for a bachelor party. Nuff said.

If she's going. She's fully aware of what goes on there. And she'll most likely be going to smoke "try/sample" a lot of pot and if she's out at night drinking etc. She'll be even more easy for the taking besides being on vacation. All those things don't add up in a positive light along with the fact you've only been dating five weeks.

I wouldn't text, call or anything once while she's gone. You can't control what people are going to do. You just have to either decide you like her enough to stay or keep her as a FB and drop her.

If it was me and I knew she was going to Amsterdam especially or somewhere like Hedonisim Jamaica within a short time of us dating I'd keep her as a FB. If it was a chick I'd been dating for awhile who was going with friends to places like that? I'd see where I stood and drop her without a word ever again. That's me though.

 

[Darth]

So yes, this should scare the everliving sh!t out of you

 

[JoeMarron]

5 weeks is too soon for you to be exclusive or catching feelings for anyone in the first place. This shouldnt be an issue.

 

[Trailboss]

She is gonna do what she wants to do anyway. Best thing to do is play the "secure" card: Tell her "Go forth and have fun! fvck all the guys you want but don't be bringing any AIDs home to me!!" Tell her its cool, and you look strong for doing it. Of course, that implies you can bang all you want while shes gone but...maybe she wont notice that? Maybe she will....what happens on vacation stays on vacation....

 

[Zarky]

OP you should use her time away to be dating other women.

 

[SamTheHobit]

The above post hit the nail on the head.

I know a bunch of roided up, drug users who went to Amsterdam...for a bachelor party. Nuff said.

If she's going. She's fully aware of what goes on there. And she'll most likely be going to smoke "try/sample" a lot of pot and if she's out at night drinking etc. She'll be even more easy for the taking besides being on vacation. All those things don't add up in a positive light along with the fact you've only been dating five weeks.

I wouldn't text, call or anything once while she's gone. You can't control what people are going to do. You just have to either decide you like her enough to stay or keep her as a FB and drop her.

If it was me and I knew she was going to Amsterdam especially or somewhere like Hedonisim Jamaica within a short time of us dating I'd keep her as a FB. If it was a chick I'd been dating for awhile who was going with friends to places like that? I'd see where I stood and drop her without a word ever again. That's me though.

Listen to this wisdom.