"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Girlfriend's birthday, what to get her?

*******

Don Juan
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My girlfriend of 1 year has her birthday coming up. Last year i didn't give her sh!t because we just started, now she deserves something though. What are some good gift ideas?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Phazuka

Don Juan
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Well, I'm taking my GF to Hong Kong. She lives in the Philippines and we have a LDR. We haven't seen each other since last June.

But lately, we've been fighting and tonight I came damn near breaking up to make her chase me. Anyways, take your GF on a trip somewhere for a weekend getaway or something like that.
 

Jack McCrack

Senior Don Juan
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get her some lotion or something

a trip isn't good for the skin
 
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Commemorating a "Birth" day with a hor deserves "Birth" control pills!!!! :rolleyes:
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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typical

Master Don Juan
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Man dumb new guys giving advice and old bitter women haters giving advice. Great I see where this forum is going, go back under your god damn rocks your losers.

Dude heres the best thing to do spend time with her, thats it nothing else spend the whole day with the girl. No gifts nothing just spend the whole day with her, you might want to get her something but thats your choice.

And dont listen to the haters and losers here they couldnt get a girl even if their life depended on it.
 

*******

Don Juan
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sounds lame. She has family and friends that she can't forget about. Spending the whole day only with me is not practical or very unusual. I can give something small, but unless she does something stupid, giving nothing is just going to make me look bad in front of her family.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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amethyst

Don Juan
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I say get her a hat and a dildo, so if she doesn't like the hat she can go **** herself ^^...

Love

Amethyst
 

Brian McGee

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Your her sexual partner. It only makes sense to get something sexual. Get her an empty box of chocolates and put a sex toy in it or something creative like that
 

Rebound Material

Master Don Juan
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a punching bag.
 
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