Girlfriend wants to meet strange guy

[SgtSplacker]

I posted the following in another thread, it heavily applies here.


I'll always throw the golden rule down whenever things start getting serious. First naughty behavior, and i'll have a little chat with her. I'll ask her what kind of relationship she wants. I'll tell her that it's her choice, she can have an open relationship or hang out with her ex if she wants to either way I don't care. All i'm worried about is that things are fair. If she wants to hangout with dudes, I can hangout with girls maybe my ex too. This is a great convo to have at the beginning of a relationship, I have never had bad results with this.

It says that you have female friends you want to hang with.
It shows her you are not so much in her pocket by wanting exclusivity with her.
It shows her you are more in control of your emotions than she thinks by being so dismissive of monogamy or whatever.
It's a neg because you just told her that you really don't care what she does as long as you can do it too.

It really sets you aside from all the insecure little kids she has been dating in the past. Quite honestly I do care, but the purpose of the convo is to make her care too. It's too easy for a girl to be offered something free from some dude think it's innocent enough and take it. But when you put yourself in the scenario by telling her that you plan on buying girls lunches or planning something to do with your ex things change. And she has to understand that the door swings both ways, and it may swing a little wider for you because after all you are the one with the bread to spend on dinners and such.

It also changes the nature of her deception, she's not keeping a secret because you are so irrational and insecure for your own good, or because she knows it's just an innocent thing between friends. You have a deal that is based on fairness, almost a relationship oath and if she breaks it she is being dishonest with your relationship. There are no excuses now of just friends or any other BS she may use to justify her actions.

If she can do it, I can do it too.

 

[zinc4]

i would try to bang one of her friends for the fun of wathcing her squirm...but if not possible go NC and never look back,,,,,,,that is messed up

 

[Valentino14]

ouch!!
sorry mate, your relationship is over

didn't your girlfriend want to meet up with another guy too?

 

[TDH]

You sir!!! You're a cuckold. Think with your head not your heart why can't her friend just meet up with this guy. And if you're her bf why would she want to meet him ALONE in a different area when she had the opportunity to meet with him nearby where your both closer to. And by the way since u gave her permission to meet him in her eyes what ever they wind up doing is your fault

 

[asa_don]

She doesn't think much of you if she wants to meet another guy.

This is a reason why older guys shouldn't be in a relationship with a 20 year old.

They want to bang a lot of other guys besides you

 

[DragonBlood]

So she told me, she wanna go meet him to hang around in the town a little.

My response "Girl, dont pull that **** on me or your ass is dumped."

Maybe open with discussion at this point of what kind of relationship this is as SgtSplacker suggested.

 

[yougottaknow90]

Hey,

me and my girl are together for 9 months. I am 26 and she is 20. the last few months I got a little needy feeling about her; maybe I just fell in love with her completely, I dunno. I started spending more time with her, gave her more attention and so on but imo I wasn´t behaving needy. But I got a bit insecure because she has so many orbiters, she´s talking to. She gets validation from them. Sometimes this made me angry and I told her.. Wrong behaviour, I know!
I thought I will losse attraction because "falling for her" but it was the opposite. We had more sex and everything was harmonic. She always is telling me how much she loves me and that she wants to be with me forever.

All of a sudden yesterday she told me, that she wanna meet a guy. I asked who he was and why she wanna do it, she told: He is a friend of her female friend and her female friend told her to contact him because he is new in a town near a town we both living at. She just wanted her to visit him because he has no friends. So my girlfriend started chatting with him. She told me at first he was flirty but she said, he should stop doing it. Then he was pissed and he stopped doing it. He wanted to come to our town to meet her but my girlfriend said no, she will come to him.
So she told me, she wanna go meet him to hang around in the town a little.

Of course he wanna bang her.. I don´t know if she is just that naive to think he wants to be her friend or maybe she is playing stupid and know what´s going on. Maybe she wants the validation. Maybe she is searching for someone else and isn´t aware of it.

What do u think, is it a big red flag??? I can´t stop thinking about if it´s a red flag or just harmless.. It is killing me inside.

So what do u think and how would u handle this situation??

wish u all the best!

Set the ultimatum man. Be stern when asserting it and do it with a cold face. Don't let your soft spot for this chick get the best of you. Stick to your word if she doesn't comply and NC for however long is justified. Find other girls while you're at it. DOn't gotta fvck em but keep the plates spinning.

I can't even believe the audacity of this woman. Why the fvck would her friend be telling her to hang out with this guy? If he's so lonely, and if this friend of her's cares so much, why doesn't she hang out with him herself? Why is your girl talking to this guy knowing he intends to pursue more than friendship with her? And why does she want to meet him?

 

[Darth]

I just don't understand how any man can be ok with this.

Is it just desperation to have a girl at any cost?


Self-respect comes first. Always.

I agree with this.

 

[casaanova]

All of a sudden yesterday she told me, that she wanna meet a guy.

Game over.


Female - Male Translation: I want to get with this new guy so I'm telling you it to your face so I don't have to feel guilty about it. If you can't read between the lines that's fine, I'll be gone soon anyway.

 

[casaanova]

Set the ultimatum man. Be stern when asserting it and do it with a cold face. Don't let your soft spot for this chick get the best of you. Stick to your word if she doesn't comply and NC for however long is justified. Find other girls while you're at it. DOn't gotta fvck em but keep the plates spinning.

I can't even believe the audacity of this woman. Why the fvck would her friend be telling her to hang out with this guy? If he's so lonely, and if this friend of her's cares so much, why doesn't she hang out with him herself? Why is your girl talking to this guy knowing he intends to pursue more than friendship with her? And why does she want to meet him?

Ultimatums and getting mad/cold are AFC. More importantly, they don't work. There's a reason the US doesn't negotiate with terrorists. Dumping her and moving on to the next chick will send a better message and it will sting much worse.

 

[zekko]

Ultimatums and getting mad/cold are AFC. More importantly, they don't work. There's a reason the US doesn't negotiate with terrorists. Dumping her and moving on to the next chick will send a better message and it will sting much worse.

The problem is that girls today are brought up to believe that they can have whatever they want, and that there is nothing wrong with them having as many close male friends as they desire. And if the guy just so happens to desire them sexually, or romantically, that doesn't enter into it because that's just the way guys are. And since they are hot, beautiful, attractive girls, why shouldn't any male desire them, even if they're just friends?

They are also taught that any man who objects to these side relationships are jealous, insecure, weak, controlling, and possessive. All most girls have to do is throw out one of these buzzwords and guys will back off as if scalded.

Since most girls believe that this is merely normal behavior, I believe in giving them a chance to correct it. I don't see this as being an ultimatum, so much as setting a boundary. It must be done from a source of strength, however, not from desperate whininess. You have to be willing to walk away. Many girls will be genuinely surprised at an objection, but if they really want to be with you, they will comply. The key is if she has high interest.

 

[styleman]

Tell her you will go with her. Then kiss her many times in front of him. What's the problem. If she says no dump her

 

[floydb25]

Sounds like she's LYING to you. This is the typical "no interest / just friends" drivel they give to everyone (especially their SO) to make everything seem innocent and harmless as they're meeting "new" men. It's not. Read between the lines. Don't believe anything she tells you. Your gut tells you something is amiss, because it IS. She's not telling the whole truth, and leaving cracks open for a reason.

Why would her "girlfriend" need to have YOUR girlfriend meet this "new" guy? That's likely BS right there, already. Don't believe he flirted with her and she said no, either. They all claim this as they're cheating. Then she wants to go to him - and not the other way around? They're going to hang around in HIS town (where you aren't going to be around) to hang around a little, AFTER he flirted with her?

Sounds like you're being played, or about to be. All the signs are pretty much there, and she's giving you a nice made-up story for it. All I hear is a bunch of BS that makes no sense - because she's LYING. This is a fling in the making.

Here's what likely happened: he met her nearby (or vice versa), he started flirting, they exchanged numbers, texting back and fourth, about to meet and go **** in his town. OR, she's courting him, and seeing if he's a better LTR candidate than you. Either way, its not just a random coincidence.

 

[sadonomspa]

Yea, I knew many girls like this including my ex wife. Put a keylogger in my computer because that's what she was using and found an email from some dude " can't wait to hold you again and be w you forever, Love xyz".

Listen to these gents on here. I have been and I am doing great.