Girlfriend wants to do nude modelling - should I ask her to stop?

[Four_Aces]

I recently started seeing this girl. She is in the art program at school, and last year, one of her fellow students asked her to model nude for him. She did. This was long before I met her.

The same guy is asking her to model for him again. I checked him out -- On his Facebook wall, it's all girls messages saying, "no sorry I won't nude model for you." Which makes me think he is asking ALL the chicks he knows to model for him. He also made comments about hard nipples and other sexual stuff... which makes me think it's not all about "the art". Basically the guy is sketchy and bit weird.

The bottom line here is that it makes me uncomfortable, and I am eventually going to tell her this, and see how she reacts. But I'm really looking to get your input on this, guys. There is so much wisdom floating around these fourms, thanks all.

 

[daring wraith]

Dear Mr. aces,

I can understand your worry, my girlfriend of 4 months is a lap dancer and aspiring glamour model. She started lap dancing about 6 months prior to our relationship and to be honest when i found out i was concerned. However, having been to the club where she works and having taken her to some photoshoots i rather quickly came round. My previous worries of "what if she takes it further" and misconceptions of her activities were very wrong, im pleased to say. I now have no problem with her "work" whatsoever (i've also made some good friends if the relationship fails ).

I think you should talk to her openly and honestly and address the issues of:

Why she want/ed/s to do nude modelling?
Where is it going?
What does she hope to achieve?
How well does she know the photographer/artist?
How did she come into contact with the photographer/artist?
Can you accompany her to a shoot/sitting?

In reference to the photographer making sexual innuendos about his clients is a serious concern, especially if its on facebook (he should have his own website, listing previous work and accreditations). Every single modelling shoot i have been to, the photogapher has always been very respectful and polite to the girls. Although this "art" student is still a student, if hes serious some of these qualities and his profesionalism should show through.

Anyway, hope this helps,

Adrian

 

[Kal0051]

Hmm, well if I were you I would ask her to not model nude for this guy. I agree, he does sound kind of sketchy and your gf should respect your opinion. But ultimately the decision is her's.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

So, your saying she has been doing nude modeling for awhile?

If you don't like something let her know about it. Don't get mad just voice your thoughts and opinion on this. Or you could ask to go with her to her photo shoots. If she will let everyone else see her nude. Why not you?

 

[AAAgent]

tell her you do nude photoshoots too but only in private. if she wants to check it out tell her to come to your place.

 

[Four_Aces]

I spoke with her tonight, and I told her that he is unprofessional in his work, and that her modeling for him makes me very uncomfortable. She said she will THINK ABOUT IT. She said she does it because she loves the human body in it's natural form.

She has been nude for him ONCE in the past year. I asked her to model for me, although she was very reluctant to do so. and it was actually HER that asked him to take photos of her again.

So not sure what the next course of action is here. I know it's her choice, but this girl might not be long term material if she can't respect how I feel.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

If this is a girl your dating and she wont pose nude for you isnt a good sign... I'd say she isnt long term material either. Are you having sex with her?

You might just want to look for a better quality girlfriend.

 

[Raikojo17]

I would say it's a bad sign too. She's getting naked with some guy, but not you

sex or not, why won't she offer you the same thing? are you two dating? Maybe she feels like you expect her to be naked with you just because she models nude. Obligation is not a turn on my friend

Also, she seems like she's blowing off you feelings a bit. if it's something she likes to do, then you can either except it or move on. You can't force her to change just for you

People don't work like that, sorry to say..

 

[Four_Aces]

I.A.F.Y.B., yes -- I am dating her. And there has been quite A LOT of sex since I met her. I am going to ask her again tomorrow if she is okay for posing nude for me in photos. Last time I asked her she said because it would be "sexual" and not "artistic" it would be different and weird for her. I call bull****.

And I know, Raikoho, people can do what they wish, I definitely agree. Accept or move on. What do you mean by "obligation is not a turn on" though ?

 

[lgbs2004]

If she's my woman the only guy that'll see her naked is me and only me!!! If she wants to pose for another guy that means that she's a ****in' *****!!!!

 

[Your_Royal_Flyness]

I recently started seeing this girl. She is in the art program at school, and last year, one of her fellow students asked her to model nude for him. She did. This was long before I met her.

The same guy is asking her to model for him again. I checked him out -- On his Facebook wall, it's all girls messages saying, "no sorry I won't nude model for you." Which makes me think he is asking ALL the chicks he knows to model for him. He also made comments about hard nipples and other sexual stuff... which makes me think it's not all about "the art". Basically the guy is sketchy and bit weird.

The bottom line here is that it makes me uncomfortable, and I am eventually going to tell her this, and see how she reacts. But I'm really looking to get your input on this, guys. There is so much wisdom floating around these fourms, thanks all.

My dude...listen to me. This is coming from someone who's not only experienced in the dating game, but a photographer who routinely shoots females in the nude. (Check out one of my rated PG-13 photos, in promotion of my book: http://www.myspacetomyplace.com/IMG_0599.JPG)

In most of my shoots, most women willing to go nude for photos are EXTREMELY freaky--many of them have boyfriends, but are willing to do whatever...and I mean "WHATEVER." She is playing you, man. Here is the giveaway: She's willing to pose nude for "art" and not for her man. At the very least, that is blatant disrespect. I bet that if you insisted on going, she would make up an excuse about why you couldn't be there.

If this girl means nothing to you and is just a "piece of @ss," I say let her go for it. However, if this is any kind of commitment or relationship, you need to be a man and tell her "No." In all honesty, letting her go would be a wussy move. Tolerating disrespect like that sends a negative message to yourself that you can't do any better than an attention freak.

If I were you I would either act interested and say, "You know this art thing sounds kinda cool. I want to see it in action so let's go together" and see how she reacts.

OR (if she balks or sounds hesitant), tell her

"Alright have fun at your nude show and don't worry about having a boyfriend anymore."

 

[WaterTiger]

Professional nude models get paid fairly good money. Ask he how much this guy is paying her. If the guy is not compensating her with cash OR professional quality prints of her, then he's in it stricktly for the jollies!

...oh! and she's either a tramp or too stupid to realize it.

 

[Four_Aces]

She says she feels strongly about her love for the female body - so she likes going and seeing herself photographed like that.

I asked her if I could take photos of her nude, and she said, "No, it would be different because there is a sexual intent behind those photos".

WaterTiger: She DOES NOT get paid for these shoots. The photographer is young and just starting out. She knows him personally, because she went to school with him.

I will ask her how she feels about me coming to one of the photoshoots. I understand, yes, it is a sign of extreme disrespect for her to continue doing it, even when I asked her not to. The hardest part is this girl is a nice "long term relationship" type of catch... so here we have a Deal-Breaker.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Tell her you are going to post the pictures all over the Internet...you know...for the art.

 

[goodfoot]

We need pictures to give educated advice.

 

[DonGorgon]

Her wanting to do nude modeling is only the tip of the iceburg of what she really wants to do and has been doing...

DO NOT ACT SQUEEMISH ABOUT HER SEXUALITY THAT IS A VERY BIG TURN OFF TO WOMEN!!!

Encourage her to express herself and love her body experiment with her sexually cause if you dont she will soon be doing it with others jif she is not already... as I suspect she is... why else would she want to expose her body too all her class mates including the 4 guys who have been trying to f her all year long????

 

[Raikojo17]

I.A.F.Y.B., yes -- I am dating her. And there has been quite A LOT of sex since I met her. I am going to ask her again tomorrow if she is okay for posing nude for me in photos. Last time I asked her she said because it would be "sexual" and not "artistic" it would be different and weird for her. I call bull****.

And I know, Raikoho, people can do what they wish, I definitely agree. Accept or move on. What do you mean by "obligation is not a turn on" though ?

What i mean is that if you give a chick the whole "you do it with him, why not with me attitude" she won't be anymore willing to sleep with you trust me, it will also make you look bad. not only are you playing the IOU card, but you are making her seem like more of a sex toy than a girl you actually like. Like a another guy who wants a ride. Women hate that.

Women, like anyone, need to feel turned on for sex. They like being horny and begging for it. They want to be sexual turned on....and then give it to em lol

Making a woman feel like she owes you sex will only make matters worse. She is your girl, not your *****

so turn her on

 

[Raikojo17]

I will ask her how she feels about me coming to one of the photoshoots. I understand, yes, it is a sign of extreme disrespect for her to continue doing it, even when I asked her not to. The hardest part is this girl is a nice "long term relationship" type of catch... so here we have a Deal-Breaker.

Aces bro

I am not Judging, but what is so special about this girl?

You say you haven't been seeing her long

why is she so special?

 

[Four_Aces]

Apparantly, her Ex-Boyfriend was a sketch artist, and drew many of her friends in the nude!! So she only started wanting to nude-model when this occured, as a kind of "revenge" for what he did!

So I said, "Imagine if the tables were turned and I was the one doing the photoshoot". I heard silence after that - and I think she saw my Point of View.

Yes, sexual expression is a valid reason. Call me a prude, but I'd rather she express that with me, and only me.

Raikojo, From the many girls I've dated in recent months, she is in the Top 3. Good time for me to secure a long-term thing.

And yeah guys, if I get a copy of the pics, I will be sure to post some, haha.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Tell her your going with her next time cause you want to see how art takes place.