Girlfriend thought I didn't love her

[PoZest]

I had been with this girl for 9 months and I thought everything was great, really serious about her but she had very little confidence. She'd said before she thought I was too good for her etc. but I said I loved her and wanted to be with her. Yesterday she called me saying it wont last because I dont make enough effort to see her. But Im not the most confident myself so don't always initiate meeting up. I tried talking to her to convince her not to end it, but she told me to leave and said it cant work. I'm unsure whether to not speak at all, or try and convince her it will work because we were really in love for the past few months and it is something I want. Any advice today would be great, thanks

 

[L B]

Short answer: she ended, you move on to bigger and better things.

Long answer: involves too many things we don't know and you are just wasting your time/energy trying to find out: she's cheating, she's about to cheat, family disapproves, she's turning gay, she has low self esteem, feeling's no longer there. List goes on and on.

General rule is when one person doesn't want to continue with the relationship for whatever reason, you move on. You learn from the relationship if you can and treasure the good times. Don't waste time looking for closure, it's women's made up word.

 

[Warrior74]

Pulled a power move on you. Went from chasing you to getting you to chase her and trying to pull out your beta all in one move. Brilliant.

Now for a brilliant response. None. Chasing her will make her leave. Trying to convince her with words. Gone. (oh wait, she's already gone)

Personally, I'd call it a day but you threw in the L word. And that's teh crux. She's calling your bluff and playing chicken with the realtionship. Why would she do that if she was in love? Her emotional problems are really that severe or banging someone else?

Do nothing. Say nothing. She said it can't work which means that she won't work. There is nothing you can do. If you do talk to her again tell her tha you enjoyed your time together and you hope she finds what she's looking for, but you really loved her and it's too bad she couldn't understand that. Leave it in her court. Leave her with no justification for dumping you other than her own desires/issues. Then leave her. She already left you. Not another single word to this one.

 

[pdx1138]

The action you need to take now is to become unresponsive.

Don't contact or reply for at least two weeks.

She quite possibly will be begging for your return by then, don't expect it
but it's highly probable.

You also need to start thinking about getting over her either way it goes.
maybe get some action from her, but think nothing more beyond that.

Once a women starts up what she has....it will never be the same again.

 

[PoZest]

Thanks guys good advice and probably just what I needed to hear.

 

[DonGorgon]

she didnt love you!!! this is her tactic for dumping...lol

 

[bukowski_merit]

She'd said before she thought I was too good for her etc.

If a girl would say something like this to me, it would mean two things:
1) She has very bad self-esteem. And is more used to be treated bad than being treated good (so she doesn't feel worthy of being treated good and NO there's nothing you can do about it other than not treat her good).
2) That i was treating her too good. (too nice guyish).

but I said I loved her and wanted to be with her.

Which wasn't very smart.

Yesterday she called me saying it wont last because I dont make enough effort to see her.

She doesn't get drama so she creates it. You're an easy target. A boyfriend she knows is too nice for her. A boyfriend she doesn't really care about. A boyfriend that she can hurt because she doesn't care about, but will lie to herself into believing that she's upset for hurting you so that she can create drama within herself.... She may even lie to herself so that she believes she's hurting herself, which may make her come back for a few minutes..... But do you really want this mess?

But Im not the most confident myself so don't always initiate meeting up.

And you probably told her this mess.

I tried talking to her to convince her not to end it,

Oh yeah; you definitely told her that mess and handed her your balls in the process.

but she told me to leave and said it cant work.

It won't work with the next guy who beats her either... But she'll enjoy that relationship more.

I'm unsure whether to not speak at all, or try and convince her it will work because we were really in love for the past few months and it is something I want.

I don't think you're going to listen to any of us when we tell you to move on. You are no match for this girl.... NOT EVEN CLOSE! She WILL eat your heart if you let her.

 

[The_411]

When a girl tells you something like you're too good for me or I'm such a bad person etc. assume it to be true and act accordingly!

It's when a girl isn't telling you negative things you need to be wary that she may be lying.

 

[GhostWriter]

Girl: You're too good for me...

Guy: You're right about that.

Any excuse that a woman gives you is a lie.

 

[SoSuaveDude]

Move on and don't respond if she tries to rush back into your life under any circumstances. She is cheating on you, or has a new guy to monkey branch too. Look, she is no longer your concern, and although it might be hard, focus on you for a bit. do things you enjoy, and hang out with friends. Improve yourself (workout, pickup a hobby, occupy your mind). Keep your mind off her and you will come out the stronger for your efforts. The next girl you hook up with will be so much better than this likely dishonest, unworthy gf was. Don't hate her, but move on and realize there is another more ideal woman right around the corner. Good luck, and stay strong!

 

[iwanttofight]

move on bro, there are plenty of fish in the sea

 

[Aaron B]

power play

this is all about controlling the frame