Girlfriend shuts me out when stressed

[Jumpking94]

Hey guys, new to Sosuave.

Story goes, me and this girl are about 5 months into our relationship. We're both in college at the same school and see each other quite a bit, usually there's 3-4 days a week where we see each other/get to spend time together.

Thing is, recently it's starting to bother me how my girlfriend acts when she is stressed out from school/work. When I try to help her out and tell her everything is going to be ok and that she shouldn't worry, or if there's any way I can make her week better, she always is short and says something along the lines of "I'll talk to you later" or " I just need to study," blaming her behavior on the fact that when she's stressed, she gets pissed off and shuts people out. She says she has been like that her whole life and that it wont change, and that I "just can't take it personally."

Usually I'll stop talking to her when she says stuff like this. An hour later I'll get a text with " Are you mad at me?" or even in some cases an "I love you." Confuses the **** out of me really.

I don't know about you guys, but I'm one for open communication, and I personally find it disrespectful and immature when people "shut you out" when they are stressed out over things like school or work. But maybe I'm overreacting on this one, would love to hear some feedback.

 

[( . )( . )]

1. Your not her therapist.
2. She's 19? Enough with the "share your feeeelings with me" crap.
3. She's gonna sample a whole lot more c@ck than just yours by the time she's done young fella. Start spreading those eggs into other baskets.
4. Read the DJ Bible.
Edit:
5. And don't say this:

listen and say "I'm sorry you are so stressed out. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate. I'm impressed with how you've been managing everything."

Entering a vexed young chicks roller coaster of emotions and turning them into your reality is for her beta orbiters, her hairdresser and her BFF's.

 

[pinkfl]

I'm just going to throw some information out there, and you can decide what to do with it.

Guys are usually problem solvers. If a girl presents a problem to a guy, ie: stress about school or work, your natural response is to become Mr. Fix-it and recommend strategies to fix whatever is bothering her. And that's a GOOD QUALITY.

Here's the thing though: Stress is something that sometimes just needs to be vented. She doesn't necessarily need you to fix it. She might just need you to listen, agree, and encourage.

So when she is stressed, DON'T become Mr. Fix-it. Don't say trite things like "It will be okay". Just be quiet and listen and say "I'm sorry you are so stressed out. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate. I'm impressed with how you've been managing everything." Then suggest going out to dinner, watching a movie, making dinner together, etc, on a night you know she is free.

Sometimes the question of "can I do anything to make things better?", while it has GOOD intentions, can put a lot of pressure on someone that is already stressed out. Having an idea of something to do that requires a simple yes or no answer is often better.

 

[SamTheHobit]

3. She's gonna sample a whole lot more c@ck than just yours by the time she's done young fella.

This is something I thought was bvllsh1t not to long ago.

Some things you'll refuse to believe until you experience it first hand.

And this was one of them.

Well played Sosuave you proved me wrong again.

 

[Alvafe]

I will say this because I know one who was like that when she dodn't feel like it she would ignore the people around her because she don't feel like it, so from experience I had.

KICK HER OUT.

she is the kind of person who do crap make mistakes and is always someone else fault never her, she will use you for emotional suport and kick you out if she don't like to see you. she have nothing good on her save for her looks and since she have like several guys around her, and she loves to put pics of her on facebook hoping for that likes to pop. on my case she even would ask me to likes her photos on facebook.

what I did? I disapear, best thing I did to me.

and I say you do the same just go ghost on her ignore her when she do that and let her come to you saying she is sorry, but I doubt she will do that, so I say find another woman, no a low class skank like her

@SAM

still learning the hard way huh?

 

[JaegerPilot217]

I'm just going to throw some information out there, and you can decide what to do with it.

Guys are usually problem solvers. If a girl presents a problem to a guy, ie: stress about school or work, your natural response is to become Mr. Fix-it and recommend strategies to fix whatever is bothering her. And that's a GOOD QUALITY.

Here's the thing though: Stress is something that sometimes just needs to be vented. She doesn't necessarily need you to fix it. She might just need you to listen, agree, and encourage.

So when she is stressed, DON'T become Mr. Fix-it. Don't say trite things like "It will be okay". Just be quiet and listen and say "I'm sorry you are so stressed out. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate. I'm impressed with how you've been managing everything." Then suggest going out to dinner, watching a movie, making dinner together, etc, on a night you know she is free.

Sometimes the question of "can I do anything to make things better?", while it has GOOD intentions, can put a lot of pressure on someone that is already stressed out. Having an idea of something to do that requires a simple yes or no answer is often better.

That's what I can't stand, hate, girls expect and want us guys to be their rock, be the rock in the relationship

 

[fuko2007]

i dated a girl like this, push pull crap. She blamed it on stress and what not , and would shut me out but still go out and hang out with her friends. When i offerd support she would get mad etc, not a good thing my man. If this is already starting you need to bail. I found the stress thing really to be an excuse for not seeing me, and its probabially the same with you. Not trying to be harsh but like another poster said she is going to ride the **** train. Best advice BAIL before she goes into i cant do a relationship phase it stresses me out phase and drops you on your head.

 

[Skyline]

I agree with pinkfl.

When she says "i dont want to talk right now" because shes stressed or whatever then dont talk to her. Acting all needy and insecure like you did is just adding stress to her and making you look weak. She's doing you a favor, THEY ARENT YOUR PROBLEMS!