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Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Girlfriend only has guy friends

overburn

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Hello,

I've been with this girl with about two months. The thing is , I feel a little uneasy about her only having guy friends. One of them lives in a block of flats next to hers, an they hang out some times (about four times as far as i know since we've been together). She says she's known him ever since they were very little. And when I casually ask her how it was, she only says stuff like "we sat on a bench and it was boring", or "we're gonna sit on a bench and be bored".

The thing is I can be very jealous if i overthink this, so i prefer not to and it's all cool when i don't.

I don't really know if it's something to worry about or not , but i'm curious on what your oppinion is about this.

As in, she doesn't seem to be cheating on me. Sometimes she's affectionate, on occasion she is just a little distant, sex is good, we see eachother regularly, she even says that she loves me, etcetera.

So what do you think?
 

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5string

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Not enough info. About how many guy friends does she have? Why do you think your girl only has male friends? I mean the reason? Has she ever told you why she does not have female friends? Daddy issues? Mommy issues?
 

overburn

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well, she gives the reason that she doesn't really find anything interesting to tallk about with other girls. and she is geeky as in plays a lot of pc games, wow mostly and likes sci-fi a lot :D so i kinda understand that.
oh and she has about 2 very good ones that she hangs out with a lot, and a couple of common ones.
and about daddy issues, her dad left them when she was very little, so i don't know how much of an issue that is though.
 

Igetit!

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overburn said:
Hello,

I've been with this girl with about two months. The thing is , I feel a little uneasy about her only having guy friends.
Well if you've only been with this girl for 2 months,then more than likely,this girl had all these guy friends BEFORE you showed up and started dating her.


So if nothing happened with her and her guys friends before you showed up,I don't see why she'd suddenly start fooling around with them now just because she's in a relationship with you..


overburn said:
The thing is I can be very jealous if i overthink this, so i prefer not to and it's all cool when i don't.
Well it's good if you don't go insane with jealousy,but honestly,it doesn't seem like you have anything to worry about.


If she was telling the truth about knowing one or some of these guys since she was little and about being "bored" when she was with them,then those two statements should be music to your ears.


Commonality (knowing them since she was little) and lack of passion or excitement (being bored while with them) are two of the biggest KILLERS of attraction for women.


These guys are the LAST PEOPLE you have to worry about.


overburn said:
As in, she doesn't seem to be cheating on me. Sometimes she's affectionate, on occasion she is just a little distant, sex is good, we see eachother regularly, she even says that she loves me, etcetera.
Seems like you two have a pretty good relationship going.


It's good you asked for opinions because it appeared as if you were about to make one of the most common mistakes guys make when they date a girl who has a lot of guy friends.


They try to separate their girlfriend from their friends.....physically.


Your job is to keep HER HEART turned towards you,not her body. Where the heart is,the body will WILLINGLY follow.



Even if you did tell her to stop hanging out with her friends and she obeyed you,whenever she'd be alone with no one to socialize with,her mind (heart) would wonder off,wondering what her friends were doing,etc.


Women are social creatures,they just need to get out and be around others.


They have more sides to them than just being some guy's girlfriend,and those other sides are what she's expressing with her friends.



Women like to shop. They like to go to the mall,look at clothes through the windows,try on shoes,spend 45 minutes trying to decide with color to buy.



Do you want to be around your girlfriend while she's doing all that? Most guys don't. So let her express THAT SIDE of herself with her friends.



You may be a good boyfriend,but you're not Superman.You can't be her EVERYTHING. You can't be her boyfriend and her therapist when she has problems,her best friend who she shares all secrets with,her friend to have a "girl's night out" with,etc.


You're her BOYFRIEND. That's your role. It's YOUR JOB to fulfil her needs of sexual intimacy and romance,her needs to feel safe and protected by a man. Do that.


You take care of her sexual/romantic needs,and let her friends handle the "chick bonding","girl gossiping","spending 6 hours walking around in a mall" type needs that basically ALL WOMEN have.
 

omega05

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eh thousands of girls say they dont have female friends. reasons include they're haters, jealous, etc
 

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Blue Phoenix

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Igetit! said:
You may be a good boyfriend,but you're not Superman.You can't be her EVERYTHING. You can't be her boyfriend and her therapist when she has problems,her best friend who she shares all secrets with,her friend to have a "girl's night out" with,etc.

You're her BOYFRIEND. That's your role. It's YOUR JOB to fulfil her needs of sexual intimacy and romance,her needs to feel safe and protected by a man. Do that. You take care of her sexual/romantic needs,...
That´s how you keep out of the friendzone. :up:

Igetit! said:
and let her friends handle the "chick bonding","girl gossiping","spending 6 hours walking around in a mall" type needs that basically ALL WOMEN have.
However what if this girl starts doing this with you (the BF)? It may be unintentional but... :down:

Something to remember about the interaction>>>

Adult love is built on mutual interest, care and respect - not on one-way emotional rescues. And mothering is for kids. Not grown men.
 
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