Girlfriend of 4 months sex issues

[andybonse]

Hello guys,

- Got with girl 4 months ago
- Everything is great personality, attracted very much to her, so much in common etc
- Had frequent sex every week until now
- Lately she had problems sleeping and been tired falling asleep when here which I understand
- When awake, I tried to initiate, was told not in mood etc.
- Been 8 days since last time we had sex, I asked about it today and she mentioned me mentioning it makes her not want to etc
- Shes not cheating, mostly with me etc can tell red flags been there before.

Man, its turning into hard work, it was great she was very happy with the sex also.
I have a highish sex drive, and can do with it every few days etc, but its getting too long now.

What would you do? Shes very much a keeper and worth a future etc, very happy with her, just this :/

My ex started like this after 5 years ended up she was cheating etc.

 

[andybonse]

No she lives 5 mins around the corner, see her most days.

 

[ImprovingJuan]

let her come to you, do not be so available. my opinion go ghost for a while and check how she reacts to your sudden dissapearing act, if she's still interested she will let you know.

 

[andybonse]

Thanks, problem is really I have a chronic illness pretty much housebound at 23. Still fit and can do quite a bit still, but its basically standing up too long causes blood pressure problems, so going out is a big issue.

Shes very happy with me it seems.

Just the sex!

Is 8 days abnormal without sex?

 

[devilkingx2]

first, before you do anything, just give it some time, maybe she's busy or it's just an off week or two or something,

if you don't get what you want, start getting distant and spending less time with her and money on her and get to know other girls but don't say anything and see if it resolves itself

if it persists too long, mention that if you're not getting laid, you're just friends, if you're just friends, you can date whoever you want.

if she doesn't fold then just break up with her, you're not married with kids, nor an arranged couple of any kind, your relationship has no reason to be sexless.

 

[andybonse]

first, before you do anything, just give it some time, maybe she's busy or it's just an off week or two or something,

if you don't get what you want, start getting distant and spending less time with her and money on her and get to know other girls but don't say anything and see if it resolves itself

if it persists too long, mention that if you're not getting laid, you're just friends, if you're just friends, you can date whoever you want.

if she doesn't fold then just break up with her, you're not married with kids, nor an arranged couple of any kind, your relationship has no reason to be sexless.

How long would you give it?

Also, how often would you say to have sex?

 

[andybonse]

I'd say nothing for two weeks. If you don't get laid, at her initiation in two weeks? Sayonara baby.


And I would become very very scarce until it picked up to at least 2-3 x per week. Depends on what YOU are happy with.

thanks, I read about neededing to create sexual tension etc, should I or should I just wait to see if she initiates?

Thanks.

 

[No.Danny]

Haha. She got you pssy whipped and SHE KNOWS IT!

 

[ELMER_GANTRY]

When a relationship reaches the 3rd or 4th month, this is known as the "High Water Mark" of the relationship. Women will evaluate the relationship determining if it should go into a long term relationship. If she feels that isn't worth going long term, she won't waste her time continuing on with it. She will go through the motions of the relationship while looking for a replacement, you will soon be replaced by another man or outright dumped. Most short term relationships will end during the 3rd, 4th, or 5th month.

Your girlfriend might not be cheating on you, but she most likely has decided that the relationship is over due to her actions. So, she will be looking for another guy to replace you with.

Sex is an important part of a relationship, if she is making excuses for sex, then something is very wrong. Look back two or three months ago, she wasn't making excuses saying she was tired then was she? No, she was giving up her p*ssy on a silver platter for you to enjoy. She is closing up shop now because she isn't into you like she was before.

Women should be giving you the sex you want, you should never have to ask for sex. Asking is a sign of weakness which means you are not in control of things, she is, and can use sex as a weapon against you for the duration of the relationship. Never ask a woman to have sex, when she has problems with you, she won't give it to you.

Always have other sources for sex, just don't rely on sex from just one woman. Putting all your eggs in one basket will allow you to become sexless when your only source doesn't provide. Having other women around will greatly benefit you, make sure she knows how much those other women want to have sex with you. When she sees that, she won't be putting up the stop sign for your c0ck.

You have made yourself way too available with this woman, being scarce isn't going to help you if she's already decide to give you the boot. You're not getting the sex you want, find women who will give you that sex. There is no reason why you should go 8 days with no sex getting all kinds of excuses. Excuses means a lack of interest, look for new sources for sex or you will continue to go sexless for a long time.

 

[GS750]

Do you know if she's on antidepressants? Sleep problems and low sex drive? Check the medicine cabinet before you jump to conclusions.

 

[Poop1337]

I would just keep trying to have sex with her and grow distant if she's become celibate or this 8 days no sex thing is regular. You should be going after other girls and it seems you're just focused on this one. Things are most likely taking a turn for the worst. You pedestalizing her may have something to do with it.

What ever you do don't bring up the lack of sex directly or try to talk about it or use logic with her. The extent of you talking about the problem should be when you're trying to have sex with her. Talk with actions not words.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Tbh if my bish told me no pussvy i would be on my way out that door within the hour

& Im confident that i could be bending some HB over the kitchen table within the next

Don’t care who she is or how amazing she is , if shes holding her pussvy to randsom she aint worth it

8 days sounds like youve already lost this battle mate,

your asking us how often you should be having sex with her
Well the answer is whenever you want it !

That passion should never ever go and if it does she aint the right girl

 

[andybonse]

Shes deffo not looking for anyone else and shes very loyal etc.

Everything is amazing apart from the sex.

Would going more distant help possibly?
What if she initiated sex, should I decline and make it less on offer?

 

[Fireballs]

You should never ask for sex or overtly communicate your dissatisfaction with the amount of sex you're getting.

Even if your overt communications lead to more regular sex, she will be doing this due to a feeling of obligation.

Your woman should have the DESIRE to fvck you. Not feel an obligation to.

 

[pyros]

Shes deffo not looking for anyone else and shes very loyal etc.

Everything is amazing apart from the sex.

Would going more distant help possibly?
What if she initiated sex, should I decline and make it less on offer?

hahah, if the sex issue continues for more than a week or a week and a half, I would not be so sure about the cheating/dumping you part.

This same thing just happened to me once with a girlfriend of mine. She suddenly was not in the mood to have secs (we were together 1.5 years at this point). I initiated sex three times in a week and she refused it one way or another. I waited a few more days, I asked her what was the problem. She said that she did not know she just did not feel like it...ok...

A few days later she was suc-king my coc-k and banging me like crazy again.
Go figure...

 

[andybonse]

hahah, if the sex issue continues for more than a week or a week and a half, I would not be so sure.

well shes not talking to anyone else at all. Off college for summer, been mainly at home etc and then with me every day too.

 

[SmooveMooves]

Like others already said here

Get busy

Make yourself scarce

Females need to understand that sex isn't a commodity that can be rationed out as she feels, sex should be her tool to keep you interested in her, and not into someone else who is going to throw it back everyday for you.

However keep in mind there may be a conventional reason she doesn't want to fvck. Maybe she's taking medicine to help her sleep that's lowering her libido, maybe she doesn't feel to good from sleep deprivation, these could be possibilities.

However my advice would be to get busy with something, a hobby, a workout, a passion, anything, and not be as available.

Don't be cold and off putting, but be busy.

Don't bring up fvcking her again either.

Let this go on for about 2 more weeks or so, and she should be ripping your clothes off.

If she doesn't you need to sit her down and have a serious talk.

That's when you explain to her,

"I'm happy with the relationship, but sex is something I expect out of a relationship on the regular. If this no sex stuff continues, I'm going to have to end this."

or something along those lines.

But only have that talk if she shows NO signs of wanting to fvck you anytime soon.

Good Luck.

 

[El Payaso]

Fvck other women. Problem solved. She'll wonder why you're not pushing for sex anymore and start getting inquisitive. Simply say you don't want to pressure her into something she doesn't want to do. Be calm and nonchalant. She'll be ripping off your clothes by the day's end.

 

[hudpes]

I see you're convinced everything is fine (apart from sex). If sex isn't fine, then nothing is fine, and if you weren't worried, you would go to pornhub, not here. So listen to what the guys have told you, become scarce, but try to do something you actually like but never had the time to, so cut off the time you spend with her and use it for this activity.

 

[AttackFormation]

I think the fact that you tried to talk about the lack of sex made her disappointed on a subconscious level, because it showed that you don't understand what's going on/you're insecure about it. I'll just quote Fireballs for emphasis.

You should never ask for sex or overtly communicate your dissatisfaction with the amount of sex you're getting.

Even if your overt communications lead to more regular sex, she will be doing this due to a feeling of obligation.

Your woman should have the DESIRE to fvck you. Not feel an obligation to.