I'm writing this begging for help from you guys. I am sorry, this will be kind of long.
So I had been with my girlfriend for a year. The relationship was great, we got along excellent, shared a lot of interests, although we had no big fights (probably this made the relationship boring). We saw each other very frequently (once a day, or perhaps once every two days, except weekends, where there was no contact at all -- because she went back to her hometown every weekend to visit her parents).
Suddenly when Christmas was approaching I had a an entire week and a half of work to do, so it was impossible for me to see her. We just talked on the phone. I would have thought this would raise interest in her, however, after that week she started hanging out with friends and declining my invitations to see each other. She kissed some guy at one party. She began to act coldly before that, so one day she confessed me that he made out with that guy, I got pretty mad, then said that I would forgive her. She told me that she was acting weird because she had that in her conscience, so after that, I believed that she would be back to normal ... but NO.
She entered grad school and had some pretty though exams, and she stopped calling and texting me. I started freaking out, believing she was seeing other guys, and I said 'we need some time apart'. We agreed to take a couple of weeks without contact. I could not handle it, so I called her. We resumed contact but she said then that 'she was not ready for a relationship' and she 'needed time for herself', but that she wasn't sure of what she wanted. Now, when I hear this from any girl, I know that it is OVER; I thought she was dumping me. However, she told me that she had doubts, and if I said so "we could be together again, and try it all over".
So I started inviting her to dates, taking it slowly, and she has always accepted, and when we go out she acted warm, we made out in the car, etc. One day I invited her and said that she had plans, so I freaked out and went out to where she was having dinner with friends and told her that I could not take her bull**** and we should end it all. She said "ok" at first, but then said "no! I WANT to go back to you, I thought we were taking things slowly, but I understand, this is not fair ... I'm making you wait". I said "this is over", and she said "can we talk tomorrow? my friends are here". I said "If you want, we can talk, but if I don't hear from you tomorrow I'll assume it is over". Next day she called me, told me that she wanted to see me, that she was sad, but that she didn't want to talk about that stuff. So I agreed to go to her apartment, where she hugged me, then we played some guitar hero, then we made out very passionately and she said "I can't take it any longer. I want your tongue". So we went to her bedroom and I gave her head, she ended with a great orgasm, although we didn't have sex, she said she felt bad about doing that because she would be even more confused.
Next day (yesterday) I didn't call, she called me. We spoke, but there was no warmth again, no "baby" no "I love you" or stuff like she used to say everyday a month ago. I feel like she's not going to act warmly again unless I do something drastic.
What I want to know is am I on wrong track or should I be patient?
Should I go 'no contact'? I have thought about 'no contact', as recommended in so many threads here, but I don't know if that would be the right choice because I would be doing it to elicit a response from her. Like playing a trick. Also, if I go 'no contact', would she get offended? How do I suddenly stop contact with her?
I feel that I'm in AFC-land, and I don't know how to recover. HELP PLEASE!
So I had been with my girlfriend for a year. The relationship was great, we got along excellent, shared a lot of interests, although we had no big fights (probably this made the relationship boring). We saw each other very frequently (once a day, or perhaps once every two days, except weekends, where there was no contact at all -- because she went back to her hometown every weekend to visit her parents).
Suddenly when Christmas was approaching I had a an entire week and a half of work to do, so it was impossible for me to see her. We just talked on the phone. I would have thought this would raise interest in her, however, after that week she started hanging out with friends and declining my invitations to see each other. She kissed some guy at one party. She began to act coldly before that, so one day she confessed me that he made out with that guy, I got pretty mad, then said that I would forgive her. She told me that she was acting weird because she had that in her conscience, so after that, I believed that she would be back to normal ... but NO.
She entered grad school and had some pretty though exams, and she stopped calling and texting me. I started freaking out, believing she was seeing other guys, and I said 'we need some time apart'. We agreed to take a couple of weeks without contact. I could not handle it, so I called her. We resumed contact but she said then that 'she was not ready for a relationship' and she 'needed time for herself', but that she wasn't sure of what she wanted. Now, when I hear this from any girl, I know that it is OVER; I thought she was dumping me. However, she told me that she had doubts, and if I said so "we could be together again, and try it all over".
So I started inviting her to dates, taking it slowly, and she has always accepted, and when we go out she acted warm, we made out in the car, etc. One day I invited her and said that she had plans, so I freaked out and went out to where she was having dinner with friends and told her that I could not take her bull**** and we should end it all. She said "ok" at first, but then said "no! I WANT to go back to you, I thought we were taking things slowly, but I understand, this is not fair ... I'm making you wait". I said "this is over", and she said "can we talk tomorrow? my friends are here". I said "If you want, we can talk, but if I don't hear from you tomorrow I'll assume it is over". Next day she called me, told me that she wanted to see me, that she was sad, but that she didn't want to talk about that stuff. So I agreed to go to her apartment, where she hugged me, then we played some guitar hero, then we made out very passionately and she said "I can't take it any longer. I want your tongue". So we went to her bedroom and I gave her head, she ended with a great orgasm, although we didn't have sex, she said she felt bad about doing that because she would be even more confused.
Next day (yesterday) I didn't call, she called me. We spoke, but there was no warmth again, no "baby" no "I love you" or stuff like she used to say everyday a month ago. I feel like she's not going to act warmly again unless I do something drastic.
What I want to know is am I on wrong track or should I be patient?
Should I go 'no contact'? I have thought about 'no contact', as recommended in so many threads here, but I don't know if that would be the right choice because I would be doing it to elicit a response from her. Like playing a trick. Also, if I go 'no contact', would she get offended? How do I suddenly stop contact with her?
I feel that I'm in AFC-land, and I don't know how to recover. HELP PLEASE!