Girlfriend lied to me -- Did I act appropriately?

[the_stig]

I've been with this girl (29) for two months now, and she has treated me like a king. The most no-nonsense relationship I've had to date.

She smoked for ten years and was in the process of quitting when we met. This evening, I smelled cigarettes on her breath, she was chewing gum, so I asked if she smoked tonight. She looked me in the eyes saying no, several times. After telling her "I'm not fvcking stupid, don't insult my intelligence" she eventually confessed to smoking during the day and evening and trying to hide it from me, but she didn't give it up easily.

I'm not mad about the smoking, but the fact that she was able to lie to my face, even if it was a white lie and what she thought was in my best interest.

I told her this dishonestly could be detrimental to the relationship and I needed to go home and think about whether or not things could be salvaged. She immediately broke down crying, how much this relationship means to her, she'll do anything to make it right, doesn't want to lose me, felt terrible, etc. I stuck to my guns and left - she deserved some psychological punishment -that was still a lie and disrespectful. I also didn't think she should get away with it with a lame apology either.

After several hours, I replied to her texts and said "I firmly believe in a relationship you have to be 100 percent honest about everything or it's not worth it. I'm disappointed but don't want to end it over this. We'll talk tomorrow"

Curious if I took this too far, handled things ok, and where to go from here..

 

[PUK]

Damn what are you

Her father??

So the **** what she smokes cigerettes
Just don't let her kiss you if you dislike smokes that much

Everyone tells lies
It depends what sort of lie

Your acting like she has cheated/stole from you whereas she was just craving for smokes

Just my 2 cents

 

[mikeyb]

I don't like hanging around smokers. If someone I was going out with had the nerve to lie to me about their smoking like that I might storm out too. But I wouldn't threaten to end the relationship over it, that's just overreacting especially if she's been great in every other way.

 

[Chamber36]

It's because people (but especially girls) are raised to lie to their parents.

A lot of parents would prefer not to know about a lot of bull**** their children do so their children oblige by lying to them.

Me, I just tell my mom: "yo I'm gonna go buy some weed now!!" and everything's fine. But 99% of the culture is conditioned to lie on a daily basis.

The fact that you disapprove of smoking so much just 'forces' her to lie to you(thus lying to herself that she's winning your approval by lying).

Now that she's starting to cry and throw a fit, I would say gtfo. I hate when girls guilt trip me. F that.

 

[Tiguere]

why are people always trying to change others? THE ONLY ONE YOU CAN CHANGE IS YOURSELF!