"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Girlfriend kissed another guy...then apologized

Bible_Belt

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I might see her tonight...so who knows.

Ditch her for another girl tonight. Then shut off your phone when you are with the other girl. (banging this other chick would be ideal, but a date is good enough) Then call the oneitis girl in a couple of days and act like nothing happened. So go get some side action yourself, then adopt a don't ask, don't tell policy. That's the only chance you have with your current gf.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Blackhole105

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Bible_Belt said:
I might see her tonight...so who knows.

Ditch her for another girl tonight. Then shut off your phone when you are with the other girl. (banging this other chick would be ideal, but a date is good enough) Then call the oneitis girl in a couple of days and act like nothing happened. So go get some side action yourself, then adopt a don't ask, don't tell policy. That's the only chance you have with your current gf.
Woah, woah I'm not a DJ (although that's the ultimate goal) but I'll try to get a couple numbers over Thanksgiving break or something.
 

Alkali

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Blackhole105 said:
My gf was out with another guy the other night and said all they did was kiss and hold hands. She than apologized and promised to never do it again.

I learned from her sister later that my gf didn't get home until 4:30 in the morning. I told her this and she said that they sat in her driveway for 3 hours...
Wow. Dump her fast. And hard. Break her down.

Jesus, I'm in a bad mood.
 

Michele l'Arcangelo

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the only choice really... is to kill her.

no but really. this is just a bump, i wanna know what happened.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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drak_ool

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so did you see her tonight? did you dump her ass or did you guys cry together and now everything is fine?

willing to bet the OP doesn't dump her. anyone down?
 

Blackhole105

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It's over. She cried. I feel like ish but whatever...I got to try and forget about her I guess...I did waffle a little bit by telling her we could still be friends and hangout, and she could call me whenever she wanted...and we kissed a little bit, but other then that it's over lol
 

Bible_Belt

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she could call me whenever she wanted

And she will. But don't answer, other than very sporadically after you are dating other girls. Never ask about her and other guys. Play this well and you will keep her respect. Then you will likely get drunken booty-call text messages at some point, your reward for handling all of this like a man instead of a typical wussy AFC.

Good job. Keep it up.
 

Serialized3

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Bible_Belt said:
Yes!

And to the original poster, my weekend went just like yours, except I was the guy who was with someone's gf.
UH-OH... I hope Blackhole doesn't find out where you live!
 

Bible_Belt

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I thought the same thing when I first read the thread. It was weird seeing my night's events told from a different perspective. But the bf I encountered is not wise enough to go to sosuave and learn that he should next her. He has been begging forgiveness all week... and she's going out with me tonight.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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In2theGame

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Blackhole105 said:
I told her this and she said that they sat in her driveway for 3 hours...
..I SPIT MY SODA OUT!!..........:crackup: I really hope you dont believe that.
 

Nexus Polaris

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Bible_Belt said:
Yes!

And to the original poster, my weekend went just like yours, except I was the guy who was with someone's gf. You really don't believe that 'hold hands' story, right?

Aren't you sick of being the wuss bag borefriend who keeps getting cheated on? I sure as hell was. So now instead of being in your AFC shoes, I'm that guy who is breaking up your weak ass relationships by banging your gfs, Last night I was rolling with laughter about how this girl was putting a guilt trip on her borefriend for not trusting her, after she had just been making out with me. Then after she and I fvcked all night, he spent today begging her forgiveness for their little fight. Who would you rather be in a situation like this - the afc borefriend or the emotionally-detached dj? He's torn up over his future with this girl, and I could care less. When you react to her pulling away and seeking attention from other people in any way other than doing the exact same thing yourself in return, then you become afc, and it's game over. You lose. Don't be that guy.
Again, man, I don't always agree with your morals, but the principle is 100% accurate. Well said.

Never get so attached that you can't walk away at any moment.
 

Don Juanabbe

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Bible_Belt said:
Yes!

And to the original poster, my weekend went just like yours, except I was the guy who was with someone's gf. You really don't believe that 'hold hands' story, right?

Aren't you sick of being the wuss bag borefriend who keeps getting cheated on? I sure as hell was. So now instead of being in your AFC shoes, I'm that guy who is breaking up your weak ass relationships by banging your gfs, Last night I was rolling with laughter about how this girl was putting a guilt trip on her borefriend for not trusting her, after she had just been making out with me. Then after she and I fvcked all night, he spent today begging her forgiveness for their little fight. Who would you rather be in a situation like this - the afc borefriend or the emotionally-detached dj? He's torn up over his future with this girl, and I could care less. When you react to her pulling away and seeking attention from other people in any way other than doing the exact same thing yourself in return, then you become afc, and it's game over. You lose. Don't be that guy.
You're no DJ, not even fawking close. DJs don't mow other guy's lawns. That's weak.



As for the original poster - you gotta walk man. If you stay with her, this shyt will hover over you like a dark cloud until you snap.

I had a situation where my girlfriend 'kissed' another guy. Trouble is, I could never, ever be sure if that was all there was to it.

So I stewed and stewed. Started even suffering anxiety attacks about it. Until finally, months later I snapped. I took some broad home from the bar and fawked her brains out.

Then I went to my girlfriend and told her what happened. I told her I wasn't like that normally, but that her actions made me do it. I said I wouldn't have done it except to get back at her.

You can imagine she didn't like that.

Point being, one way or another, it ended. I wimped out in the beginning and suffered for it for months.

In the end, I was no better than her. I went out and consciously banged this broad just to get back at her. Just went out one night and picked up some bytch, out of the blue.

Then I told her straight away and actually took pleasure in telling her, took pleasure in hurting her, and took pleasure in seeing her hurt.
 

Bible_Belt

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You're no DJ

Compared to the OP, or the way I used to be, I am. Certainly I concede that there are lots of guys here with more conquests and better skills than me. But I have posted three LRs in the past month, which compared even to the average sosuave user is pretty good!

Maybe you have had a gf stolen and are a little sore on the subject? I used to be the same way. I'm lucky I never went to beat anyone up over a girl (*so* afc). But there's no point in hating. Just be one of those guys that gfs cheat with, instead of the borefriend she is cheating on. Life is so much better this way! Peace....
 

Don Juanabbe

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Bible_Belt said:
You're no DJ

Compared to the OP, or the way I used to be, I am. Certainly I concede that there are lots of guys here with more conquests and better skills than me. But I have posted three LRs in the past month, which compared even to the average sosuave user is pretty good!

Maybe you have had a gf stolen and are a little sore on the subject? I used to be the same way. I'm lucky I never went to beat anyone up over a girl (*so* afc). But there's no point in hating. Just be one of those guys that gfs cheat with, instead of the borefriend she is cheating on. Life is so much better this way! Peace....
No, I used to do what you do with other guy's women. You sound like I used to be.

It's not the best practice. No offence meant, it's just not recommended.

There's loads of single women out there. Banging women with boyfriends and sneaking around takes waaaay too much energy.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Blackhole105 said:
My gf was out with another guy the other night and said all they did was kiss and hold hands. She than apologized and promised to never do it again.

I learned from her sister later that my gf didn't get home until 4:30 in the morning. I told her this and she said that they sat in her driveway for 3 hours...
Hors are now the pimps and the men are now the bytches - the end is near!!!
 

Bible_Belt

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There's loads of single women out there.

True, but the hottest ones don't stay single for long. A HB9 once told me, "women are like monkeys swinging from vines as they go from man to man. They don't completely let go of the one behind them until they get a good grip on the one in front of them."
 
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Bible_Belt said:
There's loads of single women out there.

True, but the hottest ones don't stay single for long. A HB9 once told me, "women are like monkeys swinging from vines as they go from man to man. They don't completely let go of the one behind them until they get a good grip on the one in front of them."
They are not monkeys - they are called hors!!!!
 

EastWind

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I'm not presenting this as actual knowledge or advice, but as a general question:

As of yet I do not have enough knowledge on relationships to back this up with experience; but from what I gather all around the net, it's just the hard truth that women will cheat on you because it is their nature, they will listen to their emotions and find themselves enthralled by that guy that is THERE. Again, this is what transpires from most of the actual DJs I know, not online, but in person.

Further... I wouldn't consider anything where you aren't sleeping with each other an actual relationship. This I learned the hard way. I'll assume you were. Even I am sleeping with a girl, I'll do my goddamn best to continue gaming other chicks.

Apparently it is in my nature to be attracted to more than one woman and want to sleep with more than one woman. So I'll act on that. Apparently it is in the nature of women to listen to her emotions and live in the moment, even if that means sleeping with another guy.

Wouldn't it be much more powerful to have established that you are actively involved with other women sexually because you are a sexual being, but she is your queen, and you are her king. Affairs do not matter, they provide diversity so you don't get bored with each other. And then in your situation, you just say "Did you use a condom? Good, because I don't want to be catching nothin' serious..."

This is hard to pull off... because we tend to get emotionally attached. Maybe it's not for everyone... I don't know whether it is for me, I haven't tried it yet. As I said, I don't have enough experience... so I am presenting it as an item of discussion. Seems to me like it solves quite a lot of problems: You don't get too attached, you have lots of options, she knows you can walk away at any time because she sees your success with other women but she knows that as long as she respects you and works with you towards a relationship, you will do likewise.

Just a thought. Feel free to discuss :)
 

Tear Gas

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are you ****ing kidding me? if my gf did that i would beat her ass and dump the slut

i wouldnt even let her go out with a guy in the first place..wtf
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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