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Girlfriend is scared/uncomftorable of opening up sexually

Zaraza

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 6, 2005
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Hey guys,

i just wanna get your opinion on something so here goes. I have been dating this girl for about 6 months and i gotta say we have a great connection. The problem comes up when we are on top of each other. She is a virgin and is very afraid of trying new things, she has always pulled my hand up when i try to reach down even tho she breathes heavily and is enjoying havin me there. Her and i talked and she says shes scared of tryin new things and it is hard for her to open up physically due to the fact she doesnt wanna do it wrong??? but she is completely emotionally attached to me. In fact, this month she has been clinging to me, and sayin i love you, holdin me close.

I dont know if this is the right place, cuz all i see is guys tryin to get with girls and ****. I have her already, i just need your opinion and maybe expirience if this has happened to you in the past.

will she come around? should i keep slowly pushing her to try it. One time she let my hand through but that was it. Im puzzled. if you need more info just ask.
 

Mr_rogers

Senior Don Juan
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Mar 27, 2006
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Sounds like she's just insecure, as you said. All that can really be done is for you to just reassure her, and hopefully she'll become more open. She says that she's worried that she'll do it wrong? Tell her that you'll enjoy whatever she does, and that it's fine. I'm not sure exactly, as I haven't been in this situation, but it seems logical to me. Hope I help a bit.
 

Yorgho

Don Juan
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Jul 30, 2006
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Zaraza said:
Hey guys,

i just wanna get your opinion on something so here goes. I have been dating this girl for about 6 months and i gotta say we have a great connection. The problem comes up when we are on top of each other. She is a virgin and is very afraid of trying new things, she has always pulled my hand up when i try to reach down even tho she breathes heavily and is enjoying havin me there. Her and i talked and she says shes scared of tryin new things and it is hard for her to open up physically due to the fact she doesnt wanna do it wrong??? but she is completely emotionally attached to me. In fact, this month she has been clinging to me, and sayin i love you, holdin me close.

I dont know if this is the right place, cuz all i see is guys tryin to get with girls and ****. I have her already, i just need your opinion and maybe expirience if this has happened to you in the past.

will she come around? should i keep slowly pushing her to try it. One time she let my hand through but that was it. Im puzzled. if you need more info just ask.

You can't try to push her. She'll only do it when she's ready. You don't want her to feel guilty about it and then never do it again.

Look, the best way to get her to WANT it, is to get her so hot that she can't not want it.

Yes, I'm talking about pre-foreplay. The rules are: Do not touch or go near her crotch or nipples. If you do, her defenses will come right up. Touch her everywhere and kiss her on her neck and everything (no hickies - hickies are stupid, grow up already). Just make sure you use variety of soft and hard touching and grabbing. And try to get her to put her hand inside your shirt and just keep going.

If you can get her horny enough, her hornyness will surpass her fear and that's when you have a green light. But don't try to force it, you'll just get shut down.
 

Kings_royalty

Senior Don Juan
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Jun 7, 2006
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Yorgho said:
You can't try to push her. She'll only do it when she's ready. You don't want her to feel guilty about it and then never do it again.

Look, the best way to get her to WANT it, is to get her so hot that she can't not want it.

Yes, I'm talking about pre-foreplay. The rules are: Do not touch or go near her crotch or nipples. If you do, her defenses will come right up. Touch her everywhere and kiss her on her neck and everything (no hickies - hickies are stupid, grow up already). Just make sure you use variety of soft and hard touching and grabbing. And try to get her to put her hand inside your shirt and just keep going.

If you can get her horny enough, her hornyness will surpass her fear and that's when you have a green light. But don't try to force it, you'll just get shut down.
Good advice.
 

LikRetsam

Master Don Juan
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I think it comes with experience but if you're willing to take the advice...

The squeaky wheel doesn't get the oil, it gets replaced. Don't shut your doors to every other girl out there. There are plenty with whom you can have a great connection and great physical interaction.

If this is your only current opportunity then do what is stated above. If you feel as I feel that you should NOT have to put that much work into getting what you want out of a chick then cut your losses. There are PLENTY of chicks willing to 'try new things'.

Frankly, if you have to go to lengths to over-seduce your girlfriend just so you can get some play then that raises some red flags. Especially when most people will get farther in one night with a stranger at a party on a couch than you have with your girlfriend of 6 months.

Life is short.
 

What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.

You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

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